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Hey guys I'm in the early stages of planning my surgery...I am finding that the more concrete the plans get, the less I want to talk about it. I feel like there is such a stigma attached in going to Mexico for surgery and I really don't want to hear other people's negativity. That being said, did you tell your employer? What about your family and friends? I kind of want to just go have it done and not tell anyone...like star jones.

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I am in planning stages and just got scheduled. I am not planning on telling anyone. I don't want to have to defend my choice.

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I didn't tell anyone. I knew what I wanted to do and didn't want to give anyone a chance to negatively influence me.

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I didn't tell anyone but a very close circle of friends. I went to Texas, and STILL didn't want to tell anyone. People think this is the "easy" way out, when in reality there is nothing easy about it. Do what you have to. Keep the negativity out of your situation however you have to.

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I've told a few people. My family and close friends understand that I need to have it done but still worry. They have caused some waffling in my decision making so I definitely understand what you are saying. I think it really comes down to what you are comfortable with. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut so telling people about my life just sort of happens. That being said when I requested the time off from work all I put on the paperwork was that I was having surgery and I was requesting FMLA time off. I have told a few of my coworkers so it's not really a secret. This is one of those personal choice things. I can see it both ways. I have not yet had anyone tell me that I'm taking the "easy way out." When they do, I will just explain how it's a tool. I guess, in the end, I don't really care if they do think I'm taking the easy way out, I have to prevent diabetes, heart and joint problems.

I really wouldn't get too worked up about going to Mexico. A lot of people go to Mexico for health care. My Husbands Uncle used to go to mexico for dental care because it was so much cheaper. I mean come on, it's not like it's a third world country using ancient tools. I think people forget that.

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I was very candid and open. I never defended my choice. I did share the info I discovered in my research.

My family, friends, and coworkers have been wonderful support.

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I told 3 directors in order to explain why I needed the time off. The next several people came up to me and asked why, when and stupid other questions. I was so upset.

Before surgery only my mom, my sister, my dad and my bf knew (with the exception of my uncle and a friend of my moms who got hers done too)

The day after my surgery i

NONE of my friends no and i am HAPPY that I didn't. Again with the exception of an old co worker who had the bypass done last year.

My so called best friend last week commented on our old coworkers weight loss and said "idk why the eff she keeps posting pictures of her in the gym when she knows dam well she had surgery and she is not losing that weight on her own. She needs to stop taking pics of her at the gym."

I was mortified. I told her the surgery is only a tool. But i knew she was just jealous. Especially since she's been trying to lose weight for the last year and hasn't. I'm so appalled with her comment. I dont know why she would hate on some else's success now I can imagine the crap she would say about me if she knew.

My advice to you. DONT GO STAR JONES. lol it back lashed on her. and it wont work. It will slip. I wanted to do the same but as it came closer to surgery i started feeling comfortable enough to tell some people (not really close in my life.. like certain co-workers, lady at the hair salon, etc) and it actually felt good. However, since your going to Mexico. This can be just a simple vacation. Good Luck!

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"My so called best friend last week commented on our old coworkers weight loss and said "idk why the eff she keeps posting pictures of her in the gym when she knows dam well she had surgery and she is not losing that weight on her own. She needs to stop taking pics of her at the gym."

Wtf! Why do women treat eachother so badly?! She should be proud of her for going to the gym and kicking ass! Not talking about her behind her back!

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"My so called best friend last week commented on our old coworkers weight loss and said "idk why the eff she keeps posting pictures of her in the gym when she knows dam well she had surgery and she is not losing that weight on her own. She needs to stop taking pics of her at the gym."

Wtf! Why do women treat eachother so badly?! She should be proud of her for going to the gym and kicking ass! Not talking about her behind her back!

SHeesh exactly what I said. I didn't tell her about surgery just because that's who she is. She didn't congratulate me when I graduated or when I landed my dream job. But she was all talk when I left the job because I was overwhelmed. She wasn't excited when I told her that i dropped 19 lbs. All she said was, "oh what pill did you drink." wtfudge? lol

This is why we should all stay away form negative people like her!

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I have not yet had my surgery. My very best friends, DH and kids know. Have not told anyone else. I don't want DH's family to know until after as my MIL and SIL will worry. I have a circle of friends that think Mexico is a dangerous, dirty place. Sure am not going to tell them I am going there to be operated on beforehand. Don't know about after. Not sure if I will tell my coworkers, but I am super close with one of them and if one knows, even if they are sworn to secrecy, it comes out. I may just tell them afterwards.

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Hey guys I'm in the early stages of planning my surgery...I am finding that the more concrete the plans get, the less I want to talk about it. I feel like there is such a stigma attached in going to Mexico for surgery and I really don't want to hear other people's negativity. That being said, did you tell your employer? What about your family and friends? I kind of want to just go have it done and not tell anyone...like star jones.

This is one of those decisions that what's right is different for everyone. I know a lot of people who have shared and had great support. I know people who have shared and gotten negativity rather than support.

I chose not to tell many people. I told my closest girlfriend, my boyfriend, and my siblings. Honestly, I wasn't even going to tell my mom but one of my sisters told her. (There's a lot of interesting dynamics there, anyway)

I ended up having to tell work that I was having a surgical procedure in order to get the time off I wanted, but no one knows the details of what procedure I had or why.

I just felt like I've failed so publicly at other weight loss attempts...a small fortune spent on Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, fad diets, etc. that I wanted this one to be private. Some friends have noticed I'm eating differently and I just tell them I'm trying to eat healthier.

It's not that this is a secret...it's just private. I might change my mind down the road and tell everyone who will listen. For right now, it's better for me not to feel scrutinized about what I'm eating or when I'm exercising or if I'm losing weight. I put enough pressure on myself.

~Kat

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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