Hey guys I'm in the early stages of planning my surgery...I am finding that the more concrete the plans get, the less I want to talk about it. I feel like there is such a stigma attached in going to Mexico for surgery and I really don't want to hear other people's negativity. That being said, did you tell your employer? What about your family and friends? I kind of want to just go have it done and not tell anyone...like star jones.

I am in planning stages and just got scheduled. I am not planning on telling anyone. I don't want to have to defend my choice.

I didn't tell anyone. I knew what I wanted to do and didn't want to give anyone a chance to negatively influence me.

I didn't tell anyone but a very close circle of friends. I went to Texas, and STILL didn't want to tell anyone. People think this is the "easy" way out, when in reality there is nothing easy about it. Do what you have to. Keep the negativity out of your situation however you have to.

I've told a few people. My family and close friends understand that I need to have it done but still worry. They have caused some waffling in my decision making so I definitely understand what you are saying. I think it really comes down to what you are comfortable with. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut so telling people about my life just sort of happens. That being said when I requested the time off from work all I put on the paperwork was that I was having surgery and I was requesting FMLA time off. I have told a few of my coworkers so it's not really a secret. This is one of those personal choice things. I can see it both ways. I have not yet had anyone tell me that I'm taking the "easy way out." When they do, I will just explain how it's a tool. I guess, in the end, I don't really care if they do think I'm taking the easy way out, I have to prevent diabetes, heart and joint problems.

I really wouldn't get too worked up about going to Mexico. A lot of people go to Mexico for health care. My Husbands Uncle used to go to mexico for dental care because it was so much cheaper. I mean come on, it's not like it's a third world country using ancient tools. I think people forget that.

I was very candid and open. I never defended my choice. I did share the info I discovered in my research.

My family, friends, and coworkers have been wonderful support.

I told 3 directors in order to explain why I needed the time off. The next several people came up to me and asked why, when and stupid other questions. I was so upset.

Before surgery only my mom, my sister, my dad and my bf knew (with the exception of my uncle and a friend of my moms who got hers done too)

The day after my surgery i

NONE of my friends no and i am HAPPY that I didn't. Again with the exception of an old co worker who had the bypass done last year.

My so called best friend last week commented on our old coworkers weight loss and said "idk why the eff she keeps posting pictures of her in the gym when she knows dam well she had surgery and she is not losing that weight on her own. She needs to stop taking pics of her at the gym."

I was mortified. I told her the surgery is only a tool. But i knew she was just jealous. Especially since she's been trying to lose weight for the last year and hasn't. I'm so appalled with her comment. I dont know why she would hate on some else's success now I can imagine the crap she would say about me if she knew.

My advice to you. DONT GO STAR JONES. lol it back lashed on her. and it wont work. It will slip. I wanted to do the same but as it came closer to surgery i started feeling comfortable enough to tell some people (not really close in my life.. like certain co-workers, lady at the hair salon, etc) and it actually felt good. However, since your going to Mexico. This can be just a simple vacation. Good Luck!

"My so called best friend last week commented on our old coworkers weight loss and said "idk why the eff she keeps posting pictures of her in the gym when she knows dam well she had surgery and she is not losing that weight on her own. She needs to stop taking pics of her at the gym."

Wtf! Why do women treat eachother so badly?! She should be proud of her for going to the gym and kicking ass! Not talking about her behind her back!

"My so called best friend last week commented on our old coworkers weight loss and said "idk why the eff she keeps posting pictures of her in the gym when she knows dam well she had surgery and she is not losing that weight on her own. She needs to stop taking pics of her at the gym."

Wtf! Why do women treat eachother so badly?! She should be proud of her for going to the gym and kicking ass! Not talking about her behind her back!

SHeesh exactly what I said. I didn't tell her about surgery just because that's who she is. She didn't congratulate me when I graduated or when I landed my dream job. But she was all talk when I left the job because I was overwhelmed. She wasn't excited when I told her that i dropped 19 lbs. All she said was, "oh what pill did you drink." wtfudge? lol

This is why we should all stay away form negative people like her!

I have not yet had my surgery. My very best friends, DH and kids know. Have not told anyone else. I don't want DH's family to know until after as my MIL and SIL will worry. I have a circle of friends that think Mexico is a dangerous, dirty place. Sure am not going to tell them I am going there to be operated on beforehand. Don't know about after. Not sure if I will tell my coworkers, but I am super close with one of them and if one knows, even if they are sworn to secrecy, it comes out. I may just tell them afterwards.

Hey guys I'm in the early stages of planning my surgery...I am finding that the more concrete the plans get, the less I want to talk about it. I feel like there is such a stigma attached in going to Mexico for surgery and I really don't want to hear other people's negativity. That being said, did you tell your employer? What about your family and friends? I kind of want to just go have it done and not tell anyone...like star jones.

This is one of those decisions that what's right is different for everyone. I know a lot of people who have shared and had great support. I know people who have shared and gotten negativity rather than support.

I chose not to tell many people. I told my closest girlfriend, my boyfriend, and my siblings. Honestly, I wasn't even going to tell my mom but one of my sisters told her. (There's a lot of interesting dynamics there, anyway)

I ended up having to tell work that I was having a surgical procedure in order to get the time off I wanted, but no one knows the details of what procedure I had or why.

I just felt like I've failed so publicly at other weight loss attempts...a small fortune spent on Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, fad diets, etc. that I wanted this one to be private. Some friends have noticed I'm eating differently and I just tell them I'm trying to eat healthier.

It's not that this is a secret...it's just private. I might change my mind down the road and tell everyone who will listen. For right now, it's better for me not to feel scrutinized about what I'm eating or when I'm exercising or if I'm losing weight. I put enough pressure on myself.

~Kat