The emotional journey so far

[sharonintx 1,275]

We've discussed this in many threads. It's not that fun dealing with the emotions that come along post op. I thought I'd go out on a limb and share some of mine and see if anyone else has experienced the same.

I wasn't prepared for the emotions. I haven't enjoyed them at all. This is what has happened in my case.

Understanding the food part has been easy. I like food, its been my friend, and depriving myself of it and the comfort it brought me has been a major adjustment. Not fun but knowing how my own mind works I can grasp it and move forward.

Not so easy to grasp is how this emotional merry-go-round has made me think of my entire life spent as the fat girl, the names I was called in school, the dates I never went on, the men in my life that I allowed to tear down my self esteem even more, and the great deal of time I have let myself waste because of these things.

Why? Why did I have to be the fat kid? Why did I let anyone influence the way I felt about myself? Why did I choose food as my escape instead of something more productive? Why have I raised my children to always recognize their own value and teach them that they are special and can be anything they want to be and not teach myself the same things?

These are the things that are hard to understand. Yep - its too late to change the past. I see that I can change my future and know I have to do it. Facing these issues is way harder than having an operation or changing my eating habits. I'm and doing it day by day but it sure is hard to face the cold, hard truth. I was the unattractive fat kid growing up that got picked on. I was the one that let others knock me down even more. And now I'm the one who can change everything and finally see myself as someone worthy of being beautiful and successful.

What a wild ride. I'll ride it though and see where I land.

[Sophia Bubbles 4]

We've discussed this in many threads. It's not that fun dealing with the emotions that come along post op. I thought I'd go out on a limb and share some of mine and see if anyone else has experienced the same.

I wasn't prepared for the emotions. I haven't enjoyed them at all. This is what has happened in my case.

Understanding the food part has been easy. I like food' date=' its been my friend, and depriving myself of it and the comfort it brought me has been a major adjustment. Not fun but knowing how my own mind works I can grasp it and move forward.

Not so easy to grasp is how this emotional merry-go-round has made me think of my entire life spent as the fat girl, the names I was called in school, the dates I never went on, the men in my life that I allowed to tear down my self esteem even more, and the great deal of time I have let myself waste because of these things.

Why? Why did I have to be the fat kid? Why did I let anyone influence the way I felt about myself? Why did I choose food as my escape instead of something more productive? Why have I raised my children to always recognize their own value and teach them that they are special and can be anything they want to be and not teach myself the same things?

These are the things that are hard to understand. Yep - its too late to change the past. I see that I can change my future and know I have to do it. Facing these issues is way harder than having an operation or changing my eating habits. I'm and doing it day by day but it sure is hard to face the cold, hard truth. I was the unattractive fat kid growing up that got picked on. I was the one that let others knock me down even more. And now I'm the one who can change everything and finally see myself as someone worthy of being beautiful and successful.

What a wild ride. I'll ride it though and see where I land.[/quote']

Wow that is so true!

[buplee 556]

Well said. I can relate totally to everything with the exception of being the fat girl and the men part.Lol. Other than that I am right there with you.

[mistysj 1,939]

I totally relate to this. I am working through these things pre-surgery and have been for the past year and more. I came from a situation of abuse and was also verbally abused at school. After school I was abusing myself verbally, inside my head. I'm trying to learn how to break the cycle and learn to be happy now.