Manners Matter...

[luckysmomma 407]

...I am a little over a month out from surgery. I joined this site a couple of weeks prior to my surgery. I've seen lots of positive; I've seen lots of negative. I'd be the first one to admit that when typing a text, an email, or a post on a site such as this...miscommunication happens. However, words are very powerful - words need to be chosen carefully especially when you don't even truly know a person..I was slammed a couple of weeks ago about regret...I am still here. I am NOT going anywhere...I am more determined than everto share my story...whether you are in the majority here who love their sleeve, or you are in the minority who regret their sleeve - you are important, your journey is yours, and this should be a place where you should be able to feel comfortable....but I just read a very mean reply to someone's post...it was totally uncalled for...it was simply rude....cold, callous, in my personal opinion. I am MAD!

I strongly feel that many on this site need to ask themselves after reading a post...can I say anything supportive to this person? If your answer is no, or you have so much disagreement with the poster's thoughts/questions ... that you just want to beat someone down with your words...don't post a reply to the person, period.

I think most would agree we are here for support, to gain knowledge, to gain confidence in our journey, to hear from kindred spirits in this journey...this should be a safe place to ask questions, to express our thoughts, to share stories...so, please, please from the bottom of my heart...I am asking people to remember what I tell middle school kids every day ..."Manners matter! If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

...can I get an Amen???

[vlb4vols 16]

Amen!

[Richard Foor 655]

Unfortunately there are a lot of people in the world who feel the need to make up for there own weaknesses in life by putting others down. You would think that a site like this where everyone has been overweight and therefore probably at some point had people give them a hard time would be more likely to be understanding but some people seem to think now is the time for them to make up for some of the abuse they have taken by abusing others. It's a sad commentary on society in general. But always remember there are some genuinely nice people on here also.

[Territravel 217]

Amen Sister!

[T'snewstart 251]

Amen and Amen!

[angelbabys 6]

...I am a little over a month out from surgery. I joined this site a couple of weeks prior to my surgery. I've seen lots of positive; I've seen lots of negative. I'd be the first one to admit that when typing a text' date=' an email, or a post on a site such as this...miscommunication happens. However, words are very powerful - words need to be chosen carefully especially when you don't even truly know a person..I was slammed a couple of weeks ago about regret...I am still here. I am NOT going anywhere...I am more determined than everto share my story...whether you are in the majority here who love their sleeve, or you are in the minority who regret their sleeve - you are important, your journey is yours, and this should be a place where you should be able to feel comfortable....but I just read a very mean reply to someone's post...it was totally uncalled for...it was simply rude....cold, callous, in my personal opinion. I am MAD!

I strongly feel that many on this site need to ask themselves after reading a post...can I say anything supportive to this person? If your answer is no, or you have so much disagreement with the poster's thoughts/questions ... that you just want to beat someone down with your words...don't post a reply to the person, period.

I think most would agree we are here for support, to gain knowledge, to gain confidence in our journey, to hear from kindred spirits in this journey...this should be a safe place to ask questions, to express our thoughts, to share stories...so, please, please from the bottom of my heart...I am asking people to remember what I tell middle school kids every day ..."Manners matter! If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

...can I get an Amen???[/quote']

Amen

[leeann71 539]

AMEN!!!

[sharonintx 1,275]

Amen! And how right you are in saying that some people compensate for their own shortcomings by slamming someone else. I've seen it over and over on this forum. Like you, I've decided to stick around too. No need to let the miserable folks make the rest of us miserable too.

[mark! 449]

I'm in agreement, however, when you see the same person posting over and over about how the don't want to diet, they don't want to exercise, they don't want to do this or that because it's too hot outside, or too cool inside, or whatever reason, you learn to stop being all happy go lucky and say "hey, do this and stop jacking around because you're wasting your life by making excuses for not doing what you're supposed to do."

Sometimes the best support one can get is a swift kick in the ass.

I'm not saying everyone needs that, and on this site, I can only REMEMBER one instance where I told the person to suck it up and do what's required, but that was after about 3 pages and whining and moaning about everything they had to do.

But, I guess I'm just a miserable person that has too many shortcomings and I should stop judging other people. (Kettle being called black by pots)

[Fixerupper 335]

telling someone to suck it up and do what they need to do is completely different. That is a form of support and that is different than putting someone down.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

this should be a place where you should be able to feel comfortable.....can I get an Amen???

luckysmomma

First off, today is Sunday - i feel with all the "amens" i'm at church

most people here are supportive and are loving their WLS

some people "express" themselves that they feel miserable about their new situation with the sleeve.

Hungry, don't feel full - "only lost 41.5 lbs in 2 weeks

stalled - stuff like that!!!!

they usually/might post this kind of subject once, maybe twice over time on the board!!!

"in the moment" they are sad, upset about their situation - they just want to vent

even if their question might sound silly - crazy - even stupid to OP who have been sleeved for a while

someone a few months PO, even a vet - can be understandably so sick of hearing ie "I ate a whole pizza 2 days PO - was that ok??

the people that read all those posts - are reading similar posts a million times over

i think sometimes their - OP's "anger" comes out after hearing so many redundant statements/questions

we/me/you sometimes forget that we were all "born" as newbies

we had similar problems too - and the "audience" LOL - OP helped us nicely with answers to our comments, questions

if something "harsh" was said we wouldn't be too happy cuz we were looking for help

You/me usually can't go to a family member and talk about concerns with the sleeve

they usually don't understand

coming here to the board should be safe and we shouldn't have to "duck" sometimes when/if we hear an unkind, unnecessary remark

IMO ANYTHING - tough love et al can be rephrased nicely - i.e.

oh hun, i see you are having a hard time, i'm sorry

but "suck it up kiddo" !!!! you got to do this or that......

sometimes i'm afraid i'm too "gushy" here :wub:

you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar!!!!

ok guys, church services are now over

God bless us all!!!!

[Sleeved_4.3.13 16]

luckysmomma

First off' date=' today is Sunday - i feel with all the "amens" i'm at church <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

most people here are supportive and are loving their WLS

some people "express" themselves that they feel miserable about their new situation with the sleeve.

Hungry, don't feel full - "only lost 41.5 lbs in 2 weeks <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

stalled - stuff like that!!!!

they usually/might post this kind of subject once, maybe twice over time on the board!!!

"in the moment" they are sad, upset about their situation - they just want to vent

even if their question might sound silly - crazy - even stupid to OP who have been sleeved for a while

someone a few months PO, even a vet - can be understandably so sick of hearing ie "I ate a whole pizza 2 days PO - was that ok?? <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

the people that read all those posts - are reading similar posts a million times over

i think sometimes their - OP's "anger" comes out after hearing so many redundant statements/questions

we/me/you sometimes forget that we were all "born" as newbies <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

we had similar problems too - and the "audience" LOL - OP helped us nicely with answers to our comments, questions

if something "harsh" was said we wouldn't be too happy cuz we were looking for help

You/me usually can't go to a family member and talk about concerns with the sleeve

they usually don't understand

coming here to the board should be safe and we shouldn't have to "duck" sometimes when/if we hear an unkind, unnecessary remark

IMO ANYTHING - tough love et al can be rephrased nicely - i.e.

oh hun, i see you are having a hard time, i'm sorry <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

but "suck it up kiddo" <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> !!!! you got to do this or that......

sometimes i'm afraid i'm too "gushy" here <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />

you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar!!!!

ok guys, church services are now over <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

God bless us all!!!! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> [/quote']

So true....very insightful!