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How do you deal with sabotage and negativity from others?



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"The VSG is the least successful wls out of the three (traditional bypass, lapband, and vsg, bypass being the most effective, then the band, and vs coming in last). She said I can only expect to lose 30 percent of my total excess weight with the sleeve, and that I "need to be realistic" in my weightloss goals. She also said the appetite would come back, and that many people learn to "eat around" the surgery."

There is a mix of truths and untruths in what you were told. Bottom line: I'd ask for another doctor if available. You shouldn't have to put up with someone that makes you feel uncomfortable.

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Might as well make lemonade out of lemons and profit from the situation. Sue her for damages. Make her know that her behavior is not acceptable to you or any other patient. In no professional environment is this behavior acceptable between service provider and client. I am a little over the top in my response, but think about it...

Suing a physician is a very difficult thing to do, every case has to have merit. While I agree that the doctor lacked compassion, isn't grounds for a lawsuit. I would send the doctor a letter and address your concerns.

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What an awful experience for you. You should change doctors. Doyou really want this person to be the one offering you medical opinions about other things you would be seeing her for? I would change doctors, THEN write her and the practice why you have changed providers.

I was in medical practice management for 24 years, and if I ever received a letter regardng a physician's mistreatment of a patient -without hesitation I addressed it with the partners and the offending doc.

Just because she had an MD after her name does not mean she is caring or compassionate or even learned in WLS.

You know what they call the person who graduates last in their medical class????? Doctor!!!!

You have done so amazingly well - don't let this doctor derail your efforts. You've seen her once, get a new doc and get away from this one. Keep your chin up girl and rock that sleeve.

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Obviously, doctors are not immune to being dumb

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First of all, this so-called Doctor is ignorant. She makes definitive statements to a patient about something she knows little about and has clearly not made an effort to research. She has no compassion, empathy or care for your feelings. I would not tolerate her as my auto mechanic, never mind doctor. Get us her email or mailing address and we can bombard her with the proof of her lack of knowledge and the truth about this surgery. Wonder where she went to medical school? She could have been better educated about gastric sleeve surgery by spending a couple hours on the internet! At a minimum she owes you an apology for throwing cold Water in your face when you were expecting her support for your considerable efforts to improve your health. Sorry you had to experience this.

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She's a ****** nozzle

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Look for another doctor and put this nightmare behind you.

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I agree! Get another doctor pronto. Some are so narrow minded in their beliefs that they refuse to accept anyone's opinions or research. The national institutes of health (NIH) has done research and actually frowns on the lap band because so many people are unsuccessful. The article actually recommended the sleeve or RNY over the band. I don't have access to the report but when I find it again I will post it or you can google it. With all the healthcare changes happening today, providers are increasingly evaluated on satisfaction of their patients. You should definitely let someone know about how you were treated. That was completely uncalled for!

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Let me start by saying, misery loves company, dont let what that one negative doctor said hinder ur success.

I know ppl who have had gastic bypass and they gained all the weight back which im sure could happen in any of these surgeries, obviously they are all a tool to get us jump started into being active and productive ppl who want to live the life we have been longing for. Secondly, my friend told me her doctor never suggested surgery and frowned upon it but had no problem prescribing her diabetes, or high blood pressure meds. Since her dr wouldn't help her or refer her, she went to Mexico to get the surgery. Wen she came back and went for a check up, her dr was so negative and demeaning that she left and never returned. Ur life is ur life and that includes ur health....be strong and trust ur decision. As my friend says....you'll always have haters....let them hate...lol! Switch doctors....but report her 1st...lol

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You should complain to the director and include medical information from actual medical journals so they educate the nasty witch.

Dont let this pass you by. We fat folks need to advocate for ourselves. Even if we get smaller there will be others after us who get treated just as bad.

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There were a lot of lap band converts in my group, a lot! And my doctors are preferring to do sleeve on most patients they calculated what my weight loss would be between RYN and sleeve. It was a 17lb difference. I think because they make more money from RYN she could be pushing that. But they are phasing out lap band sooooooo many compilations. Maybe you should request a new doctor. Don't led one bad seed ruin it for you. Exercise is a big player in all wls. So hike away. Do what's best for you!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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