female only Body image

[bubles089 35]

Ok I know there are some lady's out there that have to be the same as me. As a fat girl I never looked in the mirror and saw how big I was. I did not see a small girl but never saw how large I was until I saw pictures. Now that I am 75lb down and getting closer to my goal I look in the mirror and see the same thing! I know it's not because everyone keeps saying ohh your at goal or you cant really have 35-40 lbs more to go. I just thought self confidence would come with the weight loss but it hasn't. I am getting a little bit more attention from men and it terrifies me. I think if I look in the mirror and think yuck what will they say!? I am so frustrated because I am sick of feeling so bad about my self. I swear clothing hides so much! I wish I could make people see what I see so they get it. My belly is still huge and my arms are so flabby! My thighs still rub alot. I don't want spring or summer because I am scared to wear a bathing suit or shorts because I feel like I look worse now then before surgery! I attached the one thing that has helped me see the weight loss, side by side pictures.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Omg ! I'm happy u started this thread this is how i feel and I tell my friends and they think I'm like lying they at me and say you kno u lost weight .. I kno I have cause of clothes but when I look in the mirror And i still see fat and I look at myself and find things that's wrong w my body

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I'm very happy w my weightloss I have to make that clear maybe it my mental that will not except it I don't kno but I kno it's will change once I get closer to goal I'm just gone be patient

[NewAshes 232]

To be honest I didn't really care about my weight till my health became a issue..don't get me wrong have been over weight since I was 12 so I've always wanted to be able to wear a bikini and be able to be picked up and held but it never bothered me for more then a few months at a time. I fear of what my adult body will look like skinny I fear I won't like the shape of it ect so I know I am going to struggle with my image but I imagine it will take time to get used to it.

[Chaparra 85]

I'm one that always felt like I was smaller than my pictures looked, until I got at my heaviest, 287. I was having problems moving around normally. Now that I have lost 40 pounds (262 on day of surger), I'm starting to feel like my old self again and am feeling thinner. I've accepted being a "big" girl, and have never had a problem attracting men, but I can't wait to see how things are in a smaller body.

[lisa2job 130]

I was 338 to start and was crazy dating I never had a problem with men, then I took the year before surgery off of dating , I have lost 97 lbs as of today and at 241 I feel I look the same or worse as when I was 338. maybe because I got some flabby spots on my legs and belly. but I totally get what your saying. I just started to date again but I still feel like the fat girl.. IDK hard to explain

[SeriouslyChange 319]

I feel the exact same way. I look in the mirror and all I see is flab. The guy I'm dating tells me I'm beautiful and that it isn't as bad as I make it out to be but i don't believe him. I'm soft and squishy.

[Capt Derel 287]

Its not just you women either. I still feel fat as hell. Everyone says that I am crazy but maybe I am. Apparently I am sexy but I dont feel it

[vlb4vols 16]

My surgery date is April 16th... I've always wondered what I would look like skinny... I think it'll take a long time to rebuild my self esteem ... ... Ive been big my whole life...Compliments make me feel awkward especially when I know I'm overweight. I can't even look in a mirror while I'm shopping even though I try to present myself as best I can ... I can't wait to be able to run a marathon and just be considered average healthy weight.

[indiangirl90 1]

..don't get me wrong have been over weight since I was 12 so I've always wanted to be able to wear a bikini and be able to be picked up and held but it never bothered me for more then a few months at a time. I fear of what my adult body will look like skinny I fear I won't like the shape of it ect so I know I am going to struggle with my image but I imagine it will take time to get used to it.

Its the exact same way with me. I've been overweight since i was 12 and don't know what my adult body will look like.

I had lost about 40pounds a couple of years ago. I thought i would start wearing pretty clothes and be a lot more comfortable with my body. But i ended up wearing the type of clothes i used to wear before the weight loss,only in smaller sizes. I hope this time it is different and get over my body image issues.

[crclardy 5]

Ladies, get into counseling! I say that with love and kindness. :-) I have two acquaintances that had bypasses (I had the sleeve) and BOTH of them said the hardest part was changing their mentality. So, before I even had the sleeve, I started counseling and what a difference! Like many of you gals, I never realized my size until I saw pics, so the mirror and I weren't mortlal enemies, far from it. I'm down 24 lbs now and love how I look, feel.. The whole package! I have more to go, clearly... But even as things get a little more squishy, loose or jiggly - I'm fine with it. I think counseling beforehand and continued counseling is the key. I feel confident in saying our "love affairs" with food (which brought us to where we are) was a coping mechanism for ... something. We all have different paths, so it be foolish to speculate but the short of it is, if you aren't talking to a counselor that understands food issues, perfectionism and anxiety you are not serving yourself well. You first, then you can save the world afterward. Again, all my advice is out of experience, love and kindness.. hope you find it helpful.

[bubles089 35]

I am completely agree. I really want to see someone I just haven't had any time between work school and being sick with my gallbladder. I also am scared and don't know where to start. I have been to like 6 people through out my life, and never found one I like or that actually helped. I really want to find the one haha, between my body image issues, fear of intimacy and severe add I know I need it if I want to move on with my life :/ just wish there was a directory saying this person is perfect for you lol

[crclardy 5]

Bubles, I hear ya! Finding the right one can be a challenge. A couple suggestions: ask your surgeon or the dietician you continue to see. The other suggestions is to check the online directory via your insurance. I have Aetna and there's a full online directory of counselors and you can specify eating disorders (which I think is a strong word, but it worked.) Then, instead of calling and making an appt, I told her I wanted to ensure a good fit so being able to help with food issues, intimacy issues and anxiety were my top three. We had a 15 minute conversation and THEN I made the appt. Hope that helps. :-)

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Time, good friends who give me honest feedback and consults with plastic surgeons have helped me alot. With each passing week I feel less and less fat. I recognized that the inches I can pinches is skin!

Today I met an online friend who is petite, small boned and just little. Instead of feeling like an elephant next to her, I felt like a powerful athletic woman. I have a different body type; doesn't mean it isn't beautiful.