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Advice for relationships post-op



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My bf got really excited when i told him my surgery date. He even joked about me leaving him for someone else... and mentioned how he can't wait to throw me all over the place in the bedroom lol.

He's very happy. He wants to get bikes so we can ride together. Will this last? Will it get better or worse?

I am excited and I hope my bf doesn't change and that i don't change as well.

Jealousy is normal in any relationship. I hope he doesn't get jealous when i start going out and wearing nice clothes and gett attn from guys, etc.

I've been with my bf for 5 years and I've gained 45 lbs during the time we've been dating. I hope to lose the wait and gain the confidence i had back then.

I want to keep him on his toes but at the same time reassure him that i am still the same person. Any advice is strongly appreciated. Thanks!!! :wub:

*** Getting sleeved on March 19th***

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i guess the feelings are normal , but on my end its a little different ! my fiance of 5 years and i are both swingers !!!He has always enjoyed "chunky" "curvy" girls and really wasnt too fond of me having this surgery. But now that i have and have shed some major pounds ....our sex life has never been better!i know about gaining weight .....since we met i had gained a good 50 pounds myself!!!...wait til your curves start poppin out !!!i feel soooo much better !!!! :)

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Of course you are gonna change dear! all for the good. If you are truly in love with him--- you will not care about attention from other men Therefore - your boyfriend will not need to feel jealous- because you will be showing him he has nothing to worry about and you care deeply for him. I truly believe that relationships that break apart because one party has lost weight were never meant to be.

I have a friend who lost 100 pounds. She looked gorgeous and had a dedicated husband who adored her- even when she was fat. He always encouraged her to get healthy in a loving way. All of a sudden - she gets major attention from men at work and everywhere else they usually went as a couple. These men never even batted an eye at her before. But her husband - proudly stood by her and showed her love and respect. Well she ate it up and couldn't get enough attention- and ended up cheating with a man who gave her an STD. Her and her husband of 12 years - divorced. They have 2 little children. The husband is still a mess. ANd she is alone and miserable- gaining weight and seriously regretting the choices she has made. Sorry for the novel- just felt like sharing a story....

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Oh and jealously is not normal in any healthy relationship. Not even a little bit of jealousy.

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i guess the feelings are normal , but on my end its a little different ! my fiance of 5 years and i are both swingers !!!He has always enjoyed "chunky" "curvy" girls and really wasnt too fond of me having this surgery. But now that i have and have shed some major pounds ....our sex life has never been better!i know about gaining weight .....since we met i had gained a good 50 pounds myself!!!...wait til your curves start poppin out !!!i feel soooo much better !!!! :)

Congrats on your surgery... You give me great hope... I hope you and your fiance are doing well!! Thanks for posting!

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Of course you are gonna change dear! all for the good. If you are truly in love with him--- you will not care about attention from other men Therefore - your boyfriend will not need to feel jealous- because you will be showing him he has nothing to worry about and you care deeply for him. I truly believe that relationships that break apart because one party has lost weight were never meant to be.

I have a friend who lost 100 pounds. She looked gorgeous and had a dedicated husband who adored her- even when she was fat. He always encouraged her to get healthy in a loving way. All of a sudden - she gets major attention from men at work and everywhere else they usually went as a couple. These men never even batted an eye at her before. But her husband - proudly stood by her and showed her love and respect. Well she ate it up and couldn't get enough attention- and ended up cheating with a man who gave her an STD. Her and her husband of 12 years - divorced. They have 2 little children. The husband is still a mess. ANd she is alone and miserable- gaining weight and seriously regretting the choices she has made. Sorry for the novel- just felt like sharing a story....

Thanks for your kinds words... and that story! I was following this girl on youtube who got the lap band like 4 years ago and I can tell that her hubby and her are having trouble and she mentions it but i love the fact that they are fighting for their relationship. Thanks for posting!

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My husband wasn't excited about my decision but supported me anyway. Now I can hardly keep his hands and other parts off me!!!! Good Luck!!!!

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My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. He loved me 90 pounds ago, and loves me now.. even when I don't love myself. There's no man that could do for me what he can. In any way!!! Now im just bragging lol. Sorry.

Everything new we expect to experience always is discussed as a WE. I look forward to going dancing in sexy clothes...with him.

I trust that we will be ok. I believe that if you're solid before, you'll be solid after.

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Oh and jealously is not normal in any healthy relationship. Not even a little bit of jealousy.

I don't agree with this completely. ****... 'normal' isn't normal in most relationship THESE DAYS.

A bit of jealousy can be healthy if only for the reason that it prevents complacent blinders.

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My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. He loved me 90 pounds ago, and loves me now.. even when I don't love myself. There's no man that could do for me what he can. In any way!!! Now im just bragging lol. Sorry.

Everything new we expect to experience always is discussed as a WE. I look forward to going dancing in sexy clothes...with him.

I trust that we will be ok. I believe that if you're solid before, you'll be solid after.

Couldn't agree more...great advice! My hubby and I are the same way and have been extremely happy for 14 yrs. He was supportive when I gained weight, supportive of my surgery, and Iis VERY supportive of my new and improved figure.

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I agree with the above statements be honest with yourself and your partner, my husband has been very supportive from the very start he loves me unconditional no matter what size I am, although the weight lost helps you become healthy you must remember the people who are in your corner and who were their for you. This should enhance your commitment because you are making choices to be healthy which makes yo a better person, poor choices is what got you into this point in the first place and you need to always keep that in mind.

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I'm 3 months post op. And my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. He's been scared of loosing me and ya know the typical fears. But so far we've been happy like we've always been. I have my moments where it doesn't feel like I've lost weight and he's been my biggest supporter! He's even told me he sees a huge difference in me now. If I don't want to go to the gym he tells me to get my ass up and go! And sex wow I can go on top now and not feel tired after 5 seconds. Sex is more fun.

If he's the right one for you he'll stick around through the good and the bad times.

Wish you guys the best!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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