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I was sleeved on 1/17. Some of my family and friends seem way too interested in my weight loss. Sometimes it is hard to tell whether they are excited for me or are waiting to see me fail. I have a couple of family members and one friend in particular that call almost everyday and what do they want to know- How much weight have you lost? I have lost 20 lbs in the month since surgery which I think is fantastic but for some reason I think they think it is not enough. I don't think they understand this is not magic I am not going to lose 10 lbs a week (wouldn't that be great?) in fact, I didn't lose anything for over a week. Did I tell them that? No. I think they might take that as a reason to say then why did you have surgery? I finally told them not to ask all the time, that I am only going to weigh in once a month and that I will call them with the results. Have any of you had the same problem?

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Lisa 1st n foremost u DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER ANYTHING sounds like u have some HATERS!!!!!!! U take care of yourself dont worry about them honey. People talk if u r dead or alive so I suggest u do u. People r like that n we don't get to pick our FAMILY but I know some of us wish we could.lol U r in a stall we all have been there n we will support u so let the HATERS HATE n u do this pray for them thats what the Bible says.

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I had surgery on Feb 04 and have had the same problem. The question is always the same .How much weight have you lost? I've actually lost a friend over this. It's bad to have haters. If only they knew how hard this journeys been maybe they would be more understanding.

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I am three months out and I had a couple of friends and family members asks EVERYDAY

They weren't "haters" they were just stupid:p

But really I just told them that this is already such a hard process on its own, and they were only adding more pressure by asking everyday...

Now we talk about other things.

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Every time someone asks me that questionI just say, "not sure, I haven't weighed myself lately". Most have stopped asking now.

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Always remember and never forget: Just because someone asks a personal question, you are by no means required to answer it. Seems like we now live in a world where nothing is personal anymore. I always get that question whenever I would diet (which seemed like always) I never felt comfortable answering it. I would always say something like "oh, not as much as I would like", or lost "a nice healthy amount." If they ask again, I'll say the same thing. Third time around I am just blunt. " That is really personal for me and I don't want to discuss it"

You don't owe anyone any answer and don't have to explain anything. You will find your strength and what is best for YOU!

Best of luck! :)

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Tell them you are only weighing weekly now to avoid 'scale anxiety', also you will tell them when you achieve milestones. That might stop them asking.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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