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Worried - Need Encouragement...



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Hi,

I'm a 55 year old Dad, overweight most of my adult life, married, 3 adultish kids. My BMI is just under 50. I decided 6 months ago that I want to have the sleeve surgery. I found a doctor and just finished my 6 month wait for Blue Shield CA. My doctor required that I learn to eat right and lose weight prior to surgery, which I began doing in earnest on January 2. Since then I have religiously exercised and limited my calories to about 1000/day. I have lost 25 pounds, my doctor was very pleased and agreed to submit my case for insurance approval. Woohoo! However, having met this objective, I find that I am kind discouraged...

As I have been dieting/exercising since January I have been feeling much better and feeling especially encouraged with this progress. I can do this, dieting isn't so hard, I don't miss the calories or the variety, blah blah blah. But the minute I got my met my goal, I started slacking off, feeling like its ok to eat a little more and exercise a little less. All the stuff I have done with ever other stinking diet in my life. I commit to a diet and follow it religiously. It makes me feel good and feel good about my self. I drink the koolade and think I am cured and can do this for the rest of my life, until I reach that goal. Then like clock work I slip a little here, and then a little more there and before I know it I have lost all my self discipline and am right back to my old habits.

Even though it is literally 2 days since I reached my goal and I haven't gone completely off the deep end, I know the feeling and I know where I am heading. Sure, I may get to schedule my surgery and that will FORCE me back in line, and I may even get back on the band wagon and be religiously "GOOD" for some period. But I feel like it is doomed to go my old path. Maybe the time frame will be longer and maybe I will lose a ton more weight, but eventually I will find myself back on that slippery slope.

It really depresses me and makes me feel like I am an idiot to go through this horribly invasive and expensive procedure if I am just going to "F" it up just like every diet I have ever tried....

Don't know that there are words that will make me feel differently, but I am so invested in this at this point that I would love some help.

Thanks to all.

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Well that's the beauty of this surgery you really can't f**k it up. You do not have the ability to sabotage yourself after the first month our so!

In these first months to a year or more this "tool"

Helps up work out these self sabotaging eating patterns..

I know I have done the losing weight thing and after a month or so give in for whatever reason.

That's why you should trust yourself get rid of old doubts and move toward a healthier life!

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This what we all doooooo. The key to this is to work on your issues that trigger the old habits and don't give in. I know that if I have junk food in the house, I will eat it. So I don't have any junk food. I have changed my whole way of thinking. Instead of thinking big, I've changed to thinking and believing that small is better......I have tried and I keep testing sugary foods but I always end up with some sort of ailment. So today, I'm working on sustaining from unhealthy foods and look at the triggers I am experiencing when I act on those triggers. This is the hardest journey we will take, but the best journey I will ever have. You can do this and change those self defeating behaviors if you choose to. It's totally up to you. CONGRATS! I hope to have you sitting on the BIG LOSER'S BENCH next to me! Thank you so much for sharing this.... :)

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I completely agree with laura-ven. It is a great tool, one of many you can have in your arsenal. Does your program require meeting with a nutritionist? Does it have a post-op program, where you would learn how to eat, exercise, etc?? Does the program have a support group that meets on a regular basis? These are all good tools that help learn the 'new & improved' way of life. I'm two months out - and i feel the best I have felt in forever! Between the folks in my post op class, the nurse, nutritionist, exercise physiologist, and this site I feel like I have a village of support.

I don't know you , but i have faith in you that you can do this!!!

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I had done what you described several times in my life. I successfully lost 30 pounds only to gain back 40. Lost 40 pounds to gain back 50. My last go at it, I dropped 45 pounds and gained 50 back. I said, "Enough is enough! If I keep doing this to myself I am going to DIE!"

I needed a more permanent solution and the sleeve has been the perfect tool for me. I have lost 130 pounds and not gained back 1 pound in the 20 months since my surgery. I weighed once a month so as not to get discouraged by the inevitable stall.

I eat what I want, when I want ... just far smaller quantities. There was a period of mourning food shortly after the sleeve, but it changes into rejoicing that I no longer have to be a slave to food. I no longer have to beat myself up for failing yet another diet.

The sleeve was the best decision for me. You have to decide your own path.

Good luck

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Hi,

I'm a 55 year old Dad, overweight most of my adult life, married, 3 adultish kids. My BMI is just under 50. I decided 6 months ago that I want to have the sleeve surgery. I found a doctor and just finished my 6 month wait for Blue Shield CA. My doctor required that I learn to eat right and lose weight prior to surgery, which I began doing in earnest on January 2. Since then I have religiously exercised and limited my calories to about 1000/day. I have lost 25 pounds, my doctor was very pleased and agreed to submit my case for insurance approval. Woohoo! However, having met this objective, I find that I am kind discouraged...

As I have been dieting/exercising since January I have been feeling much better and feeling especially encouraged with this progress. I can do this, dieting isn't so hard, I don't miss the calories or the variety, blah blah blah. But the minute I got my met my goal, I started slacking off, feeling like its ok to eat a little more and exercise a little less. All the stuff I have done with ever other stinking diet in my life. I commit to a diet and follow it religiously. It makes me feel good and feel good about my self. I drink the koolade and think I am cured and can do this for the rest of my life, until I reach that goal. Then like clock work I slip a little here, and then a little more there and before I know it I have lost all my self discipline and am right back to my old habits.

Even though it is literally 2 days since I reached my goal and I haven't gone completely off the deep end, I know the feeling and I know where I am heading. Sure, I may get to schedule my surgery and that will FORCE me back in line, and I may even get back on the band wagon and be religiously "GOOD" for some period. But I feel like it is doomed to go my old path. Maybe the time frame will be longer and maybe I will lose a ton more weight, but eventually I will find myself back on that slippery slope.

It really depresses me and makes me feel like I am an idiot to go through this horribly invasive and expensive procedure if I am just going to "F" it up just like every diet I have ever tried....

Don't know that there are words that will make me feel differently, but I am so invested in this at this point that I would love some help.

Thanks to all.

Your story is the EXACT reason for the success of this surgery. I remember my doc telling me that the key to the sleeve's success is that it gives the patient the tool to NOT gain the weight back.

By the way, the fact that you recognize (and had the courage to express it) the issue means you've won half the battle. Now you just have to devise a plan to counteract it....

There are a ton of people here on VST that will offer you support when you need it....

~Dana

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Thanks everyone for the support. I am feeling better today, sort of...

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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