A thread for Single Bandsters

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I never stopped thinking about dating. I have been online at all the dating sites, and there are so many people on there that say they are looking for someone thin and trim, that I just don't see anything happening for me until I am closer to goal weight. Have you considered the possibility of placing an ad on one of the sites for bbw?

I already have kids, so maybe Chrispy would be better to answer this for you.

[smilin_apple 0]

I have one daughter now but have been seperated, and almost done with my divorce, with her father since 2001. I have thought about checking out the bbw sites, I did it in the past but I had an experience once where I met someone a few years ago from that type of site and he wasn't too happy to hear that I am having the wl surgery, he likes me this way, but that doesn't matter I am not happy.

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Hi April! I didn't "stop" dating so to speak before the band, but I did decide to take a break the first few months into it. It takes some time to recover from surgery, and you have to learn a new way to eat. I wanted to just be able to focus on myself and that's it. I was banded in October, and think I went back to online dating sites in January. I would say just do what feels right for you and things will all work out.

[PigsRFlying 0]

Hey Guys! My journey begins somewhat tomorrow! My surg is on Tues. but check in and spend the night tomorrow!! I hope that the thought of being thin helps me get through the next few weeks!

When were you guys able to start exercising? How long did you just kind of take "strolls?"

JC--Are you getting better? You sound like you are....?

Apple-If you are strong enough to keep dating while doing this thing, then by all means, go for it. I know I am not. My self esteem/confidence gets kicked in so quickly that I am waiting until I feel better about ME.

[PigsRFlying 0]

Leonna0Crispy--Everything is still going OK over there?? Sounds like it!! Yay!

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Ooooh good luck PigsRFlying!!!!!!!! How exciting!! I think I started exercising three or four weeks afterwards, but a lot of people bounce right back and start walking a few days afterwards. I was a wimp though, and the lack of eating many calories made me exhausted. I think Denise said she was back to normal in a couple days though. She's a superstar.

And yes, things are still going well for me. Keep those fingers crossed!

[Leona06 0]

Hey everyone....

So, I'm doing pretty good. I really like spending time with Matt and really like him, but I'm not sure if I would really want to start a real relationship with him. I'm very "New York" and he is more "Maryland" if you get what I mean. I feel a bit too wild around him, and here's something weird...

This guy I was seeing last year (once or twice) is getting lapband tomorrow and he is so exciting to start exercising with me and he was talking about about how he want to have coffee and really hang out with me next year. I have so many more things in common with Martin (He's also into music and goes to school with me) and he is in the same mindset as me. It was really hard watching Matt drink like 4 sodas and how he really isn't watching what he puts in his body or really taking care of himself. I don't really like that- I'm taking the time to really feel and look better and its weird and awkward to have Matt not really care. Martin is so proud of me when I tell him about going to the gym and losing weight. It's nice to have that common ground. He's gonna call me back when he is conscious after his surgery tomorrow.

I still can't get over how nice Matt is and how much fun I have when I am with him. But I am changing myself to be with him. I don't like suburban life, and when I am with him, I feel like I'm pretending that its ok to not think about my dreams and my future and I don't like that I am letting myself feel so content with something so menial. I feel like I am something special, and I becoming something special- not just in my weightloss, but in my career, and in NYC.

For the first time in my life, I can see how some people can live normal lives, as mine has never been normal and I can see how I could do that too, but I don't want to! I want to be famous, be successful, and be in NYC! I like him, but I don't want to get tied down to my past life in Maryland. I also really like his friends and hanging out with them, so I hope I can still stay friends with everyone!

whew sorry I had to get that out. Honestly, I am just gonna have some more fun and more experiences until I go back to school. I am learning so much about dating and myself, so I guess thats the point!

Chrispy, how's your man? Everything going well?

April... I didn't date for about 2 months after surgery- not by personal choice, but because I didn't feel good enough about myself and my body to do it. I did meet tons of guys before and after surgery though. It really is about confidence. Go to a baseball game or something... and just have a chat with a guy in the line. That always helps

PigsRflying- GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!! The first day of the rest of your life is coming and it will be amazing. You'll do great!

I went back to the gym tonight, and racked in another hour... I really want to get below 200 before I get back to school, and I'm about 6 pounds (give or take) to do it. This weight training is really toning my arms and stomach! I must admit, I like the results!

Good luck everyone on the start of a new week!

[jcgrove29 0]

PigsRFlying, I am feeling good. I am still concerned because I wont know if I get to keep the band and or require further surgery until the 10th. I am finding it very very difficult to remain on a liquid diet with no restriction.

JC

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Oh, JC, I really feel for you! I had to do 4 weeks on liquids after surgery. It was hard! You can have Soup though, right? For some reason I found soup to be more filling than Protein Drinks. I had to put it in the blender so there were no chunks, but it still seemed more filling. I also had a lot of egg flower soup.

Leona, you are way too young to let anything or anyone stand in your way. Just have fun until school starts and then tell him you want to experience all that school has to offer, and that means not being tied down.

PigsRflying, Good luck with your surgery! I hope you have an easy recovery like I did. I am no superstar by any means. I am not losing any weight, so that takes the super right out of my star! I am going to get another fill as soon as I get back from vacation. I think the reason I was able to go back to exercising quickly was because my body was very used to it. I got the gym habit about 3 years ago, and I really missed it after surgery. I went back after about a week, just not as intensely as usual. You will be able to listen to your body. If it hurts, don't do it!

Hey everyone, I have a small update. There was a guy last year that I was emailing with and really hit it off with. Then we were supposed to meet and he got cold feet. He said there was no point in us meeting since we lived 2 hours apart and neither one of us wanted to move. All of a sudden I heard from him again. He wants to start writing again, and said this time he wants to meet. I told him nothing has changed, the distance was the same. He said he doesn't care about the distance anymore and wants to see what happens. We shall see if it's just "all words''

I am going to AZ to see my dad next week. I will use the computer at the library to check in with all of you!

[Dibaby 0]

I had a hot possibility of a date from a dating site and I chickened out. Blah what is wrong with me. I'm just so nervous to meet someone I don't know and deep down I'm still worried I'm gonna dissapoint them with my looks. He was a cutie too..

[Missy0224 6]

I was wondering if any of you have read "He's just not that into you"? Anyone who has, please give me your insite. I believe that everything said in the book is right and my whole view on dating has changed drastically. Let me know guys

[Leona06 0]

Hey Missy,

I read that book! I loved it! It totally changed my outlook as well. I no longer am desperate or go crazy over guys... I let them come to me, and it works! haha

Denise- I think you are very RIGHT about not wanting to be tied down. This is my first real boyfriend (haha i sound 15) and I want to have lots and LOTs more of them! haha

Dibaby... you should have went- but I know what you mean- I've also chickened out with that stuff. It takes a lot of guts to go through the possibility of rejection!

UGH! Some people make this whole dating thing look so easy and I just wanna KICK EM! haha

[Missy0224 6]

Hey Missy,

I read that book! I loved it! It totally changed my outlook as well. I no longer am desperate or go crazy over guys... I let them come to me, and it works! haha quote]

HAHA! Everything he says makes so much sense. I'm not done with it yet. I have about 40 more pages but geez I can't put it down. Do you know of any other books out there like it for more encouragement?

[PigsRFlying 0]

I think it's called ....Why Men Love Bitches.....something to that effect and there is a follow up book too.

[jcgrove29 0]

Good luck PigsRFlying!!!

Denise, I can eat Soups, I also have come up with a instant mashed potato soup/concoction. There is just no replacing solid foods especially without restriction.

I will be OK though I have been keeping myself busy planning a 1100 mile bike ride.

JC