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Judge After You've Walked in My Shoes!

BB145

By BB145, in Rants & Raves

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BB145    34

BB145
Posted

Well I've done an EGD, a sleep study, a stress test, pre-op blood work and EKG, pre-op visits, and tomorrow I start the all liquid diet. Not to mention the fact that I had the band placed and it has failed (leaking) with no restriction and I've regained, so now I'm getting sleeved. I'm not lazy, stupid, or misinformed.

I was chatting with a woman at the doctor's office last week who was 6 weeks post-op. She was so happy as she had already lost 30 pounds. She told me she no longer felt the need to eat all day long and she felt free for the first time in her life. She was in her late 50's. I know I don't want to give up another 20 years of my life living like this. That's why I'm doing this. I have such an unhealthy, exhausting relationship with food. I don't eat because I'm hungry each time. I eat because I can, because I'm sad, because I'm happy, because it's there. For me it's like I can never shut that need off. I hate myself everyday for not being able to control it. I just want to be "normal" when it comes to food. I want a tool that will help me eat because I need to, not because I want to.

I'm scared too. I worry that it won't turn out how I want it to. I worry that I'm sacrificing so much just to do this. I swore I'd never go this route, but yet here I am. But I also know I have to do something. I just want to be free. I'm doing this for myself and for my family. I want to be around a long time. And I want to actually participate in my life, not just be a bystander. Tomorrow is the start of all liquids. I know it's going to be brutal, but if this is what I have to do to get where I want to be, then I'll do it.

So, this "rant" is for those of you who tell me I'm taking the easy way out. Walk a mile in my shoes and tell me how easy it is. Until then.... Shut it!

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Sadtosaygoodbye    256

Sadtosaygoodbye
Posted

I second that emotion!! There's nothing easy about this decision at all, it's life changing. The surgery is just the start, we will have to be the ones who do the work!

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Deanne    22

Deanne
Posted

I don't think you will ever be judged here. I'm reading on yours the many things I've been though so we are in this together if you want it..:) Surgury to me is not the easy way out, it just might be the only one that works for us. I wish you good luck in your journey and keep positive...:)

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Takingcontrol    467

Takingcontrol
Posted

Congrats BB145! I think you made the perfect choice! I could've written that myself! I was ALWAYS obsessing about food! It's only been 6 wks now & I no longer have that obsession! I LOVE being able to eat just a small amount & be perfectly satisfied! I now eat to live..NOT live to eat! Good luck!

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StephF89    41

StephF89
Posted

"And I want to actually participate in my life, not just be a bystander."

AMEN!! Oh my gosh I want that on a t-shirt <3

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BB145    34

BB145
Posted

I don't think you will ever be judged here. I'm reading on yours the many things I've been though so we are in this together if you want it.. :) Surgury to me is not the easy way out, it just might be the only one that works for us. I wish you good luck in your journey and keep positive... :)

No, I haven't been judged here. the outside world is not so kind. I've had a rough day and the negativity I have been feeling from others has finally gotten on my last nerve. :angry: Thank you for the well wishes. :)

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BB145    34

BB145
Posted

Congrats BB145! I think you made the perfect choice! I could've written that myself! I was ALWAYS obsessing about food! It's only been 6 wks now & I no longer have that obsession! I LOVE being able to eat just a small amount & be perfectly satisfied! I now eat to live..NOT live to eat! Good luck!

Thanks for posting that! I needed to hear that today! I'm so glad to hear how well you've done. Congrats!! I'm so ready to do this! This is going to be the longest week of my life! :unsure:

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BB145    34

BB145
Posted

"And I want to actually participate in my life, not just be a bystander."

AMEN!! Oh my gosh I want that on a t-shirt <3

What a great idea!! Love it! I'd wear it with pride.

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BB145    34

BB145
Posted

I second that emotion!! There's nothing easy about this decision at all, it's life changing. The surgery is just the start, we will have to be the ones who do the work!

Good luck! I hope you get your approval soon!

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cmaloney    151

cmaloney
Posted

I was you! Exactly had the same relationship with food. Whenever we were going to an event, I never thought about all my friends I was going to see, I thought about what food was going to be served. Had my surgery 9/17 & down 74 pounds. I wish I did this years ago! I'm loving life & now I eat to live not the other way around. Good luck to you & I also hope you get approved quickly. We are all here for you....

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Go To Topic Listing Rants & Raves

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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