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Falling into bad habits



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It seems as if i am developing some old new bad habits. I had my surgery on November 8 and I have lost a total of 90 pounds both preop and postop. But lately it seems I'm getting into some bad habits. I've really started to enjoy my morning Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks and no it's not skinny! It also appears that I've fallen back into eating whenever I'm watching anything on TV. I hate that I'm getting some of my old habits back. Now I know that before I had the surgery, I had some real issues with food. I know the surgery did not magically fix any of those issues. So, now I'm realizing that the hard work has to start. A part of me is just really disappointed in myself for falling back into those habits. I know some of you out there will chastise me and say I shouldn't be doing these things again, but it's just not that easy. I know that the surgery has provided me with the new start, but making these big changes doesn't seem to happen all at once. So here I am today proud of what I've accomplished so far, but disappointed that I seem to have hit a bit of a roadblock. I'm mad at myself for not taking full advantage of this opportunity. I know I can start new tomorrow I guess that old part of me that wants to be perfect is just mad that I even messed up at all. So, if you read my post and feel the need to comment please provide me with some positive feedback. I'm afraid if I read all negative comments about all the things I shouldn't be doing that I'll fall even further into my old habits and just eat more. I really need to hear from people who have been through this part of the process themselves and how they got through. I know I'm not alone and that none of us got here because we love ourselves too much. For me especially it was about self-hatred. I don't want to fall into that negative thinking again. I need some ideas to forgive myself and realize that I'm not going to be perfect at this there will be some difficult times and I can start over anytime I choose and I haven't ruined anything. Thank you all for listening.

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it is alot of work but most important it takes will power and lots of it, you dont wanna end up like you were before, so dont endulge in old habits.. work hard at it, stay focused. nobody can do it for us we need to do it for ourselves.. good luck

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We are human and will make mistakes, the important part is that you recognize there is a problem. Now I am probably going to get heck from some on here but I have let myself have a treat from time to time and have stopped beating myself up over it. If I want a piece of chocolate I allow myself a little, not like before my surgery (3 chocolate bars), and it seems only once a month I really crave chocolate (if you get my meaning) I did this surgery to become healthier not to completely deprive myself of everything, moderation is the key, If you have to have you drink maybe limit it to once a week, the calories add up in those suckers lol

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I just saw that a grande caramel macchiato is like 450 calories or something like that! I know its hard make small changes (like a skinny macchiato) every day. You can do this!

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Keep your eye on the prize. Doesn't sliding into those new smaller sizes feel absolutely fantastic? Stop all your bad habits right now, you can do it. Feed your brain with positive thoughts. When you feel your brain going down that lane of Starbucks, just stop it immediately and fill it with a desire for a glass of Water. Train your brain to go down another lane. Just do it.

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Thanks for posting this....because it is what I also fear. It would be way to easy to graze right back up the scale, and we all know it can happen. I think being cognizant of your behavior, realizing it really isn't what you want to do, and making a plan to stop it are key. You've done the first two - now what about an alternate plan to hardwire in some new behvior.

Just let it go - you can't undo what ate when you shouldn't have. Beating yourself up won't help. Put that energy toward something useful, like exercise. Just turn the TV off. I know-easier said than done. I also used to do that before surgery, but I'm working at developing a new habit of walking when I get home from work instead of eating. I've found it clears my head, and I eat my meal when I get home, and I'm good for the night. I was a stress eater, so I really think the walk helps me. As for the coffee....I prefer black. Could you learn to like black coffee? One other thing - I do track my calories. Seeing it really keeps me in check.

Be good to yourself!

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Don't give up! You can do this. I would highly recommend getting yourself into therapy with someone who specializes in eating disorders including emotional eating. You said you don't like yourself much and that negative comments would make you want to fall head first into the bad habits which tells me your issue is emotional (like so many of us) so a good therapist can really help you in this area. The surgery can help with the physical part, but we all need to do some work on the mental part as well.

I know it's not easy! I've been eating far too many sweets myself. But, you absolutely can do this! You might consider doing the five day pouch test to help yourself get back on track. Whatever you do, don't give up!!! Come here, read others struggles, reach out for help (like you're doing) and believe in yourself. It's hard, but it's worth it. hugs.

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Thanks everyone! What is the five day pouch test?

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Oh, I found it! I'm not going to do that specifically but I gained a lot of insight from it. I am going to stick to my tight feeling Proteins from now on and lay off the carbs. I guess in my mind I thought I was one of the lucky ones who could eat more. I'm realizing that just because I can, doesn't mean I should. I feel reassured, in kind of a sick way, that my pouch is working. I was a good girl at dinner and ate broiled tilapia. But, I ate it at the rate I was eating my wheat thins. Well, guess what! Sorry to give TMI, but I barfed in a ton of napkins. So, my pouch is still good. Just need to let it do its job without cheating around sliders. :)

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This is exactly the right approach. Until you're mentally ready and have shed the emotional eating or habitual eating, incorporating foods that require moderation won't work. Because you aren't ready for moderation yet! But going back to basics and eating Protein first will help you immensely.

You'll need to break the carb cycle - for a lot of us, too many poor quality carb choices wake the carb monster. If you've ever seen anything I've posted you know I don't advocate low carbing post op, but I do recognize the very real reactions that processed foods cause in our bodies. Sugar, in particular really hits a trigger with some folks.

Do not expect perfection from yourself. None of us are perfect. But do make the little steps you need each day to transition those bad habits into better ones. If you want your morning coffee, indulge - but drink a Tall, not a Grande, or make it a skinny one. I think tracking your calories again if you've stopped will also help you see the big picture.

Thank you for posting. People all too often assume the sleeve will do the work for us. And to some extent, that's true. But those ingrained habits and "head" issues that contributed to our obesity do not go away just because our stomach is smaller, and it's important to face them and overcome them if you want long term success.

Best of luck and know that you are not alone with this struggle. If you focus on these habits now, you have the chance to reach goal well adjusted and with a healthy, moderate approach to food. That's what you want to live easily at goal for the rest of your life.

~Cheri

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So true. This may sound like a "duh" statement but we still need to make healthy choices to make this work. I know this and everyone else knows this but I was looking at a site that compared wls and for the sleeve it specifically said, "still absorbs nutrients so patients need to be wise about food choices." Even though I already knew that, seeing it brought me back to reality, if that makes any sense.

Sometimes we get off track, that's normal but getting support from friends, websites, fellow sleevers really does help getting back on track. We can motivate each other!

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I'm afraid of the same thing once I have my surgery. Keep your head up. Stay focused and have will power to say no. Biggest thing pay attention to when you are eating and choose healthy Snacks.< /p>

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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