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Is anyone having problem with family (jealousy) for example comparing your vsg surgery to their diabetes or lil digs about your weight loss,like your losing but you still have a ways too go Really.I know in our nut groups they said this would happen but Damnnn!!! REALLY PEOPLE HAVE SEVERAL SEATS :angry:

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Haters suck ! You will find it everywhere! There just jealous people. Take it as compliments instead, and dont let it get to you

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I was getting little digs from my mother-in-law, now I limit our conversations. I don't want the negativity.

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My aunt told me just today she didn't like anyone skinnier than her ????

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I have been criticised and made fun of for many things during my life: red hair, freckles, too skinny, long hair, looking like a hippy, for being a druggie, for being a Christian, for being a preacher, for reading my Bible, for driving junk, for being old, for being fat, ...you get the picture. Sometimes by family, sometimes by strangers. Somewhere along the way the opinions of others cease to matter so much. The fact is...it is your life, not theirs.

People love power. Affecting you is a demonstration of their influence which makes them happy. Acting is a vital skill. If you listen attentively and seem to take to heart their advice you can go away and do what you were going to do anyway. Unless they have a 357 Magnum pointed at you you don't have to implement their wishes.

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I always think, how sad it is that the only way for some people to feel better about themselves is to try to make someone else feel bad. And omg how truly miserable they must be if that's all they've got to make themselves feel better! You know the best way to put them in their place? Ignore them! gman's right -- people love power... the power to make you feel badly. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you get upset. Just see them for what they are and see how pathetic it is that they feel they have to act that way.

Keep on rockin'!

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No, nothing but support from family and friends. Ignore what they say, don't give them the power to annoy you. As long as they aren't being disrespectful ignore them. I've learned that some people like to compare their situation to yours and sometimes like to one up you, I just ignore the foolishness.

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Let your haters be your motivators!!!

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Is anyone having problem with family (jealousy) for example comparing your vsg surgery to their diabetes or lil digs about your weight loss' date='like your losing but you still have a ways too go Really.I know in our nut groups they said this would happen but Damnnn!!! REALLY PEOPLE HAVE SEVERAL SEATS :angry:[/quote']

Thanks everyone for your encouraging words!!!

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Jealousy is a horrible thing and it is unfortunate that we reside in a society where that trait shows in many places. Family members, best friends, strangers, and even spouses. Spotting them are easy as they will try to devalue your surgery and weightloss success. Remember that they talked about Jesus... So people will talk about you... No matter what you do.

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My sister in law is the same way. As soon as she knew I was having this done she immediately started dieting and exercising a whole bunch. She is also overweight but I have always been bigger. Now that I am alot smaller she makes comments about she's losing weight naturally and how I'm looking so "skinny". Come on!! I still weigh over 200lbs! So you know what I do? I say thanks! I'm feeling pretty skinny lately and move on to the next subject. Brush your shoulder off and keep moving forward! We are healthier of mind body and soul. And our opinion of ourself is the only one that should matter

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My sister in law is the same way. As soon as she knew I was having this done she immediately started dieting and exercising a whole bunch. She is also overweight but I have always been bigger. Now that I am alot smaller she makes comments about she's losing weight naturally and how I'm looking so "skinny". Come on!! I still weigh over 200lbs! So you know what I do? I say thanks! I'm feeling pretty skinny lately and move on to the next subject. Brush your shoulder off and keep moving forward! We are healthier of mind body and soul. And our opinion of ourself is the only one that should matter

What funny is that today I was asked did I eat something in the kitchen really with 3 oz LOL:-) :-) :-)

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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