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I'm nervous to tell my parents I've decided to get wls. I've been going to my required pre op appts all month and my data should be submitted for insurance approval Friday 2/1. I think my hesitation is because I've always valued their input (because they are pretty successful and sensible most times) but, I know if they don't support me I'd be hurt and it would make the journey harder. Our lives are pretty intertwined. My parents and my family only live a mile apart and they provide afterschool care to my children so I see them almost daily. I also don't want them to have any bias on my decision because of my sister's hardships with the lapband. I think today is the day I'm going to tell them. I've prepared mentally and physically by practicing with my husband. Both he and my sister are super supportive and tell me my parents will probably understand. So I guess I am just posting for encouragement and in case my parents prove my sister and husband wrong.

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I would just let it out there with them, all this buildup and practicing and stuff is probably just working you up into a state of high emotion that most likely isn't necessary. I know its easier said than done but try not to have a ton of emotion wrapped up in how they take the news. You're a married, grown adult and you have made a decision.

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I think you will be so happy with your decision. I had the band removed and sleeved just 5 days ago and I love it. I think if you explain to your parents in detail about the surgery they will be supportive. It's life changing and it's all for the good . It sounds like you are close with your parents . Just give them time to digest the info . Good luck :) We all need support, I'm so happy I found this forum !!

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Thanks! I know you're right I just need to exhale and let it out, remembering all the positive reasons I'm doing this. My sister even mentioned that if she could she thinks she'd have a revision to the sleeve.

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the best of luck but you could be surprised with your parents with their support, they will want you to be happy xx

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I was also hesitant about telling my mom. But, I was pleasantly surprised at how supportive she is being! I'm still in the pre-surgery/approval stage. Good luck with your folks!!!!

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Thanks so much everyone, your support means a lot!! I told my patents last night.

My mom isn't really too in-the-know about cuurent wls options. She first gave me some of the "I hope you know what you are doing.... this is permanent.... I hope you understand the risks."

I think, based on some of her questions, that she initially thought I'd be getting roux-en-y. She asked if I'd be on shakes the rest of my life and if I'd ever be able to sit down and eat a meal with them. She said she didn't understand why I'd be able to stick to a diet post-op but not before.

I shared with her some research findings about the long term success rates of those who have over 100lbs to lose and attempt it ::eye roll:: "the natural way." She said she'd like to see me thin and happy and I interrupted her and told her this was more than what I look like; it's about my long term well being, preventing health issues, living a life with and for my family (especially my kids). I shared with her some of the things that keeps me from living fully like, last week NOT taking my 7 year old to the school skating party because my DH was out of town and my knees have been killing me and frankly I was worried that if I fell I'd seriously injure myself, embarrass my son, and be out of commission for a while.

Interestingly, she didn't ask about my husband or his thoughts. Which, I totally appreciate that one of her go-to thoughts wasn't about my husbands take or influence. I think she knows me well enough to know I'm my own woman, with a strong mind and personality.

I'm sure she'll talk to my sister but I anticipate my sister will be supportive as she's been banded. I invited her to ask me more questions or talk to me about her concerns. So, we'll see how it goes.

My DH told me he was very proud of me for facing my parents. I don't let many people rattle me but boy, they sure can. I respect them so much and how smart and strong they have been throughout their lives. But I'm a grown woman who has to do what's right for me and my little family.

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I was worried to tell my mother as well. I don't want to worr her and have her stressing out. I told her once I got my surgery date and she is very supportive she even gave me pjs for my hospital stay. Good luck, I'm sure you will be fine.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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