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Just received a verbal beating...



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I bet once you are home safe, and she can see you are okay, her tune will change! You know, and your husband knows, you are making the best choice for you, and that is what matters!!!!

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My dad really chewed me out when he found out my plans. It is a subject we've agreed not to talk about. It was "Mexico" that caused him to freak. In hindsight I wish I would have not told anyone but my hubby until afterwards.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

Amanda Rae

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Sorry to hear about her reaction. Sometimes people show they love you in hurtful ways. Odds, are though, she loves you a lot and when you are on your way to a healthier path after surgery, she will see that and turn around. My husband was similarly unsupportive but now, 6 months out he sees how happy I am with the help I get from the sleeve. It's helped me to make real changes in my health. Unfortunately, she is not going to a great support person until and unless she does some research and you know what they say about horses and Water. Just know you have great spurt on this forum! Good luck in your journey.

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I have been trying to decide whether to tell my parents are not. After reading everybody's comments I think I better wait until I get home to tell them. I know I'm having the surgery just not in Mexico. I'm just so scared I will slip up and talk about the plane flight or Mexico or something. I just don't know what to do. I'm more stressed about telling my parents then the whole surgery, flight, Mexico,etc. Nothing is going to stop me from going. I just really don't want to stress them out and make them worry.

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I'm not telling either frankly I'm embarrassed and know that they will all gossip and talk about me. Since they live in another state they will never know.

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I think you all are blessed no matter what they say. People like me who have lost their Moms miss the chewing out that was only intended to protect you. My blessings to you all. To me, the world has never been the same since my mom passed.

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Neither my Mom or mother in law know because of their dementia they wouldn't understand it. My 11 year old grandson told his Mom, "Wow! Grandma is skinny" when I posted this picture. My friends are supportive but I'm not sure about some siblings but I did it for myself and my own health.

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She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

She is your mother, but as I've learned with my mom, she has her own life to worry over now :) You are the captain of your ship. I think you've made an amazing decision that will help you have a healthier life for your future.

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Oh, I am sorry you are going through this. Remember her reaction is because she loves you, she is not as educated about the surgery or the MX practitioners.

I had a similar reaction from my dog club friends. In the end, they will support me. They just are afraid for me.

Mary

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It's funny, because my mom had a similar reaction to my wedding announcement or my religious conversion. I don't think she understands me or my decisions usually - but in time she accepts them and learns to love me as an individual.

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I know what you are going thru. I got all of that with my mother as well and I'm having the surgery here in the states (i'm scheduling the actual surgery date at my appointment this thursday). Sorry she isn't supportive. I'm lucky that my husband fully supports my decision and that is all that matters.

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My mother was NOT happy. She was only "okay" about it when I said I was making my best friend go with me and to contact her from MX and let her know everything was fine. As well my surgeon was willing to call her and talk to her if it would help. I said, nah I don't want her to be rude to you! LOL.

Everything turned out JUST fine and now she's impressed with him. She almost stole Dr Alvarez' book off my bedside table. Thankfully she had bypass in 2001 so she was okay with the surgery part. It was the Mexico part and the part where I didn't have $30K to pay for it here in the US where she had no other arguments. I wasn't going to be fat for another year.

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A lot of people react negatively because thy wish they were doing it too. Sometimes it's just moms job to worry about you.. Maybe she could go with you? That said.. Confrontation is a big reason I didn't tell anyone except my husband and kids. I don't want drama involved in my personal issues or decisions.

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My best friend lost 50lbs on WW last year so I was told "I'm going the easy way out." I just told her that I would support her if she decided to marry a goldfish so I would appreciate to either have her support or not talk about this again. My stepmom told me that I need to just be sure to come out of surgery eating vegetables and lean Protein and I won't have a problem. Another example of misinformed people forming an opinion. Sorry your mom did that to you, but I chalk it up to "at least she cares enough to say anything"....

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I've got down to a healthy BMI 10 years ago with diet and exercise. I've obviously put most of that back on again.

Once I started losing weight with VSG my Dad said "Don't stuff it up again this time". I said "Don't for get to say 'I told you so' If I do".

Old people eh?

Somebody shoot me if I end up like that .......

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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