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Boyfriend totally against WLS dont know what to do



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I'm about to start my 4 month weight loss management and I'm having doubts AGAIN which is normal but I'm Having lots of talk with my boyfriend and he doesn't feel this is the way out. He feels I should commit to a diet and exercise and just sees me as being lazy and not wanting to put the extra time for exercise. It's easy for him to say but I have so much going on , work , kids , bills, body aches , PMs, hiatal hernia, reflux , GERD etc! I'm 38 years old 5'3 and 320 pounds.

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You know what's right for you better than anyone else. My husband didn't want me to do it either, but now he's really happy I did it because I'm happy about it and feeling better!

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I can relate completely. My SO feels the same way. He doesn't think I've put in enough effort and believes this is way too drastic. His feelings are purely concern for me. He has even gone so far as to buy me exercise equipment this past weekend and offer to help pay for a trainer. His opinions are really clouding the issue for me, causing a lot of stress.

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I'm about to start my 4 month weight loss management and I'm having doubts AGAIN which is normal but I'm Having lots of talk with my boyfriend and he doesn't feel this is the way out. He feels I should commit to a diet and exercise and just sees me as being lazy and not wanting to put the extra time for exercise. It's easy for him to say but I have so much going on ' date=' work , kids , bills, body aches , PMs, hiatal hernia, reflux , GERD etc! I'm 38 years old 5'3 and 320 pounds.[/quote']

Tell him you are going to lose weight if he doesn't agree consider him extra weight too ;) it's not as easy as simple diet I seen postings here with scientific proof . If we feel hungry from inside what can we do I remember I used to diet all the time and used to be so upset and miserable cause all I could think about was food ...

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I'm about to start my 4 month weight loss management and I'm having doubts AGAIN which is normal but I'm Having lots of talk with my boyfriend and he doesn't feel this is the way out. He feels I should commit to a diet and exercise and just sees me as being lazy and not wanting to put the extra time for exercise. It's easy for him to say but I have so much going on ' date=' work , kids , bills, body aches , PMs, hiatal hernia, reflux , GERD etc! I'm 38 years old 5'3 and 320 pounds.[/quote']

Please don't mind me I'm just messing with you ;) it's the best thing I did for myself. Sugar , BP gone in 2 weeks no more insulin ;)

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I'm going through the same thing. My boyfriend tells me everyday not to get it. It gets annoying! He even went as far to say he is going to leave me if i get surgery. SMH. My surgery is Feb 6 th, and only my God can stop me. i have to deal with my weight not him. I have to deal with heath issues not him. So I'm going to do something about it and get surgery. Its your body and your health at the end of the day!

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.........hiatal hernia, reflux , GERD etc! I'm 38 years old 5'3 and 320 pounds.

These things alone should be the determining factor.....it's your body and your choice.

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Tell your bf its not a way out its a tool. If he is not behind you then he is a tool. Just kidding. Let him come on here and read some of the posts. Its probably just fear talking. People always say to me, whe I tell them I am having surgery in 8 days that Oh your'e not that big, Blah blah and I realized I have a lot of really nice friends but they are not helping me. I am doing this for me and luckily my hubby is supportive. Your BF will get there.

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At the end of the day...it's ALL about you!! GO FOR IT!! GOOD LUCK!!

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At 5'3" 320 lbs, you are at grave risk. I agree with him on one thing, you need to commit to diet and exercise but you need the surgery that will supply the tool to lose the weight and keep it off. What people do not understand is it is almost impossible to exercise when you weigh 320. The pressure on your joints and you get out of breath before you can do any good. I know, I was there. You need to do this for your health, he needs to understand this. You need to understand that this is your body, your life and your health. This is a decision YOU must make for the right reasons. If he wants you around for a few more years and a quality of life that is good for the both of you, this surgery is vital. Good Luck.

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The one suggestion that I can make is to have read maybe your Bariatric website or some other medical resource that allows him to see what the surgery is really about, how it is done and why we need it as a tool. Sometimes when people see the facts, they understand better. A lot of times they love you and are worried about the unknown and how it will affect them. Knowledge can be powerful. Good luck and stay strong in your decision to improve your life.

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I backed out two years ago thinking it was the easy way out kept trying different diets lost 30 and then only ended up 15lbs heavier then where I started.

Try the pre-op diet and have him try it with you and then have him tell you this is the easy way out, this pre-op diet is the hardest thing I have ever done! I have been on so many diets and all of them I can cheat which makes them easy, but unsuccessful, this I can't/won't cheat its a great tool to help me stay strong and save my life. Good luck with whatever you decide. :)

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Thanks everyone for your advice. Yes it a very hard decision that only I can make. I want to be healthy and live a long life . getting this surgery is a risk but staying obese is an eve bigger risk. I want to exercise but I have pain on my heels pain at times in my back, knees. It's just a mess and I know I'll start the gym today and tomorrow ill have to stop due to some pain some where. I know my boyfriend just wants me to be able to keep my stomach the way it is and is very scared I won't ever be able to eat normal again. I know that's his concern.

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Good lick in your decision. Remember though that being alive and enjoying life is better than the alternative. Here is hoping that he changes his mind.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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