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I don't regret my surgery one bit! I also weight 407 when I had my surgery in june and now I weight 289. It sometimes dose bother me what ppl I know eat tho. I went on a date last night with a bigger guy who ordered 2 deep fat fried sandwitches and thought I was gunna puke as I was eating my chicken breast( yep just a baked chicken breast) its harder to find friend or even dates who have changed there life styles like we have I do know that but when I see my self half there size in pictures know I know I'm hot and I don't mind not seeing them as often and focusing on my new life choice!

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It is hard to give a simple answer. I do regret the fear I put my family in. My husband broke down he thought he had lost me. My daughter was angry because I chose a surgery that could have taken me away. I regret I got caught up in the " Can't wait to be sleeved" mania. The office I went to just churns them through. Now I see the assembly line and how people are pushed through, complications are minimized, and the generally talk is that I would breeze through.

With all that said I am here, I am sleeved regrets won't do me any good. I want to do all I can with this sleeve. If I had not had this surgery and knew all I do now,I find it hard to believe I would do it all again but that is not where I am at. I am sleeved and must learn to live with it.

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I understand where u are coming from!!! I guess i am taking the easy way out but it just soo hard!!! It seem like a little 50 pounds are impossible to loose, or ill loose 10 then i gain it back and more !!!! I dont know what to do !!! Im really frustrated / sad that ive let myself go like this !!!

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I'm a serious cook/baker. It's what I do and what I enjoy.

In my opinion, it was unfair to my family (at the time after surgery I had two year old twins and my hubs to cook for; the stepkids weren't visiting) to put them on a diet of Soup for three weeks because I opted for surgery.

The way I got around this was to prepare a number of meals in advance that were easy to freeze/store so that I could feed them without spending my time on my feet in the kitchen. By the time I was onto soft foods, I would prepare one meal and about half of the time I'd cater the meal to my needs by adding in a soft element I could enjoy, too. The rest of the time, I'd eat whatever I had planned or already made for myself while they ate the usual meal.

It took me a while to learn that I didn't need to make as much food for our family. Even now I need to remember that whatever meal I make is likely to feed us two or three times.

As for whether or not you choose to eat at the table with them, it's your decision. I was not bothered by my family eating. At the worst times, I felt frustrated that I couldn't eat more, but seeing them eat did not bother me.

Over time, my husband has scaled down his portion size and how he eats to more closely match my eating habits. He was never overweight to begin with but feels healthier and did shed about ten pounds over the course of two years by doing this.

I chose to have surgery when my husband was perfectly happy with the way I looked and when I only had one complication from my weight (type 2 diabetes), so expecting them to change their lives totally because of what was mostly my vanity seemed unfair to me. Then again, my husband was/is very considerate and never did things like scarf junk food or order a late night pizza in front of me.

Now we live a normal life and normal food is a part of that. The job to stay away from junk is mine, not his. I had to learn moderation and how to control myself around food and that means that if he wants to occasionally indulge and have a few Oreos once in a while, it's my job to stay out of the bag while they're in the house.

It takes time and practice to get to this point, though.

Do what you're comfortable with and try to encourage your family to respect your new lifestyle while at the same time respecting that they didn't choose to have surgery with you. That will keep everyone happiest while you learn new eating habits.

~Cheri

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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