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How do I tell him or should I bother?



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I'm 6 months post op, 15 pounds from my ultimate goal, met a guy last month and we've been seeing each other pretty regularly. He knows I had surgery, knows I only have part of a stomach, and has seen how little I eat- he seems to be ok with it. He doesn't know what kind or surgery I had, or that I had it to lose weight. He doesn't know that I used to 260 pounds. But now I want to be Facebook friends with him. Most of my pics are the old me so as soon as I FB him, he's going to find out. Should I tell him about the surgery, wait to FB him until later, or just go ahead and not say anything?

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I would tell him. The more he becomes a part of your life the more he is going to discover. It is unfair for him to be caught off guard and have a reaction he would regret.

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here's a guy's perspective..

if it ends up making a difference to him then you'll have to ask yourself if he's really the right kind of guy to be with..

if you're worried about it then tell him. get ahead of the issue, explain, and don't let him generate any ideas on his own before you talk about it.

good luck and congrats on the wl!

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Just another guys perspective... but in my opinion honesty is always the best policy. Something like this shouldn't matter to him at all, and if it does then I would seriously question that. The past is the past and even in the past you were the same person on the inside that you are today and THAT is what truly matters.

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I agree with the other guys. Any man I know wouldn't hold this against you whatsoever, unless he feels you went out of your way to hide it from him. Be proud of your progress and success and he will be proud with you. And if he's not, that should be a red flag to you.

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Thank you gentlemen and lady! My guy is going to meet my friends this weekend for a hockey game. Ill see what they say about him and ask them if they think he's ready to hear it. On the other hand, I might as well tell him sooner rather than later. I would hate to get attached to find out he can't deal.

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Never be anything less than proud..the lack of confidence is more unattractive than being heavy

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Thought I'd give an update. I told him last night about the weight loss and he'd already starting adding up the facts on his own-the half of a stomach, the tiny meals-so it wasn't a surprise. He was impressed when I told him how much-126-127. I did earn myself a little spanking because my deep, dark secret wasn't. ;-)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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