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Scared and desperate



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Hi... This is the first time I have posted at all so here it goes... I have been on this forum almost every day and I must say it seems you can get alot of strength and support from here... I so want to have the sleeve surgery but just really really scared something will go wrong or whatever...Like all of you I am just plain fat... I hate myself at this particular time... I am the biggest I have ever been... I am 45 and also in menopause and taking bio identical hormone therapy.. They certainly have helped my mental state of mind and I now have somewhat of a sex drive again (sorry if that is tmi).. lol...But my goodness I have gained the weight in the last year... I am 5'10 and have always been able to carry a good bit of weight... Im pretty ok with weighing 220lbs but now at a whopping 270... I hate this feeling... I have tried and tried to get this off but always fail and grab a bag of chips and a coke... Im obsessed with eating .. I wake up every day praying today will be a better day... I will eat healthy... I will drink lots of water... I will exercise... etc.... Never happens but yet the desire to be thin and healthy is sooooo there !!! .....I would be a self pay patient... I ve just recently gotten health insurance -- I have been rejected several times because I am classified as morbidly obese... I am really considering Mexico... It seems alot of people have had great experiences...I desire to have some telephone conversations with some of you... Is that possible????

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Maybe I'm reading wrong, but, are you or aren't you classified as morbidly obese? Do you have any co-morbidities, health issues caused by the obesity? Check into you health insurance thoroughly to see what their criteria is for approval. Also, if you let us know your city/state, someone on the forum might be in your area and can suggest a surgeon or bariatric center in your locality. Also, they may be familiar with the health insurance you have and its process. As far as being scared of the surgery, that's normal. All of us that had the surgery were scared and anxious. But, when you consider the long term risks associated with obesity, we moved past our fears and did what we had to for a healthier, longer life! I wish you the best!!!

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Yea,

I understand how you feel.

I was anxious too. Enough that my pcp noticed. But some how as I got more information about the sleeve and the benefits. I am no longer anxious about it.

This site has a lot of support to.

For me I want a healthier life. Staying morbid obese for me is causing many problems. So I'm ready for drastic improvement with hard work.

You are not alone.

Good luck

Have a healthy Happy New year!

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You are not alone. I too struggled with my weight and getting to the point where I felt like--oh well! Take it one day at a time. Get up and walk around the block or even around the dining room table. Anything to get moving. I wish you luck on your sleeve journey. Please keep us posted.

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Hi... I have been rejected several times because I am classified as morbidly obese..

Hi are you classified as Morbid obese. And do you have co morbidities.

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Hello there and welcome.gif!

My suggestion is to research, research, research!! The more research I did, the more my nerves turned into excitement! And now, I'm completely content with my choice and so anxious for it to be over and for my new way of life to begin.

Obviously, I don't have much to offer in the way of experience in going through the surgery yet since I'm still 16 days away, but I did do a ton of research on surgeons in Mexico (not morbidly obese AND no co-morbidities; I didn't even bother with insurance) and I was very nervous about that when I first started out, so I would be more than willing to chat with you about my research process, etc. Just send me a private message if you want to connect.

There are a lot of very qualified surgeons in Mexico - many of them have done the procedure WAY more times than the US docs, so the more you learn about them, I believe the more comfortable you'll be.

Good luck! smile.gif

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I'm always amazed at the GREAT advice and encouragement that I see given on this site. ALL of the above comments are right on target. Keep posting and you will have All the support you can ever hope for. I'm only 4 weeks post surgery and totally amazed at how much better I'm feeling after losing weight... 40 pounds since coming home from hospital and over 30 more before that. Good luck and stay in touch.

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I keep hearing everyone is so scared of the surgery but although I feel a little scared at times I believe I am more afraid of dying from a obesity related illness. I can tell you that if you don't control your weight you will get where I am where I cannot walk further than a few steps without being out of breath and I have obesity related asthma that put me in the hospital this year where I was struggling to breath and the drs said they had done all they could , that's scary, and my electric was off for eight days during hurricane sandy and I had to get a generator to run my clap because I could NOT sleep or breath, that is scary, oh and I am off balance so I fall easily now. I am 280 and 5 foot 4.

Last but not least I have a serious Vitamin D deficiency due to obesity that inhibits my absorption of Calcium. I now have serious arthritis issues. That is scary!!!

So stop worrying so much. You will probably be fine and it will change our lives in a way we cannot even imagine. Hang in there. Get excited look through clothes mags and dream big! We can do this!! Only 10 days for me left!! I can't wait!

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My surgery is jan 9 I have to diet on 1000 calories a day until surgery. I have two low cal frozen meals approx 300 calories each two cups of low cal veggies and one Protein Drink or two and sugar free hot cocoa and sugar free Jello or fit and lite vanilla Greek yogurt oh and caffeine free hot tea with skim milk and equal

It is not bad at all I tried the bariatric pudding with 100 calories and 15 Protein too it was pretty good. I failed on my diet on Dec 26 but have been doing good since. It is a state of mind I have concluded. I can be stubborn so I'm using that on myself! Ha!

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I'm always amazed at the GREAT advice and encouragement that I see given on this site. ALL of the above comments are right on target. Keep posting and you will have All the support you can ever hope for. I'm only 4 weeks post surgery and totally amazed at how much better I'm feeling after losing weight... 40 pounds since coming home from hospital and over 30 more before that. Good luck and stay in touch.

Congrats

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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