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Hubs thinks he's psychic

Tink22-sleeve

By Tink22-sleeve, in The Gals' Room

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Tink22-sleeve    528

Tink22-sleeve
Posted

So, the hubby just called and says "I have a bad feeling about this surgery". wtf do I do with that piece of info? My surgery date is Dec. 26th.

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Spatters3    315

Spatters3
Posted

You laugh and tell him you love him even though you know he doesn't know what the future holds and thank him for thinking and worrying about you.

AngelEyesInNJ, 7carol3, melissac and 1 other reacted to this

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Rootman    1,101

Rootman
Posted

Talk it out. If you value your marriage you will get this issue settled BEFORE your surgery. Seek professional help if you can afford it. This can be a life changing even - both the surgery and any repercussions from marriage issues stemming from it.

melissac, Tink22-sleeve and 920amy reacted to this

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Ms.AntiBand    2,984

Ms.AntiBand
Posted

He's probably scared. Guys have strange ways of dealing with things and then even worse at communicating them. But rest assured.. If yor surgery is flawless and while heading home you stub your toe... No doubt the big guy will claim " I told you so! "

;-)

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Piplula    709

Piplula
Posted

So' date=' the hubby just called and says "I have a bad feeling about this surgery". wtf do I do with that piece of info? My surgery date is Dec. 26th.[/quote']

I would ask what his concerns are. I agree with splatters and rootman. They are both correct. I think sitting down and just let him tell you his concerns without interruption is beneficial. I did this with my hubby. I also included him on every appt every step of the way so I knew he was educated on the process. He became my greatest ally and support. If you value and respect his opinion, I'd sit and listen to him talk, review aspects that your doctor has gone over with you, and remember fear is a worrisome monkey to get off your back. His motivation more than likely is based on fear and love for your well being. Reminding him of the pros and cons of the process may be helpful as well. And lastly, I looked at my hubby and flat told him " you are giving me the best of you, let me give you the best of me by letting me take this step to a healthier me". Good Luck!

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ProudGrammy    8,322

ProudGrammy
Posted

" you are giving me the best of you, let me give you the best of me by letting me take this step to a healthier me".

Tink2222

the statement/thought from Pipula "up above" ;) - IMO is worth repeating

Talk to DH about his concerns/worries

WLS 12/26 weeks away - exciting, but you want the two of you to start on the same page

good luck

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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