Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I think about that too! I've never been thin, what if I get ugly?!? I guess I'll have to make up for it with all the cute clothes I'll be able to wear!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was an ugly fat girl so I have completely accepted the fact that I will be an ugly regular sized person. I say regular sized because I'm Hispanic and big-boned so thin isn't even in my vocabulary. I'm a realist!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've ways gotten the comments "you're so pretty, if you could lose weight you would be perfect." Thats really aggravating! I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that even after all the weight is gone, I'll still have flaws like normal size people also do. Nobody is perfect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always get you have such a handsome face. Like wtf. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've ways gotten the comments "you're so pretty, if you could lose weight you would be perfect." Thats really aggravating! I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that even after all the weight is gone, I'll still have flaws like normal size people also do. Nobody is perfect.

I get this all the time too. It agravates me. I recently "broke up" with my best friend of 12 years... She used to make these comments to me all the time... Those comments weren't the cause of ending our friendship but they didn't help to save it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband said something about someone "being fat" and not really in a mean way if you can describe someone as fat in a NOT mean way but I quickly corrected him. I don't care if I end up a size 2, I am always going to be fat because I can never see a day when food is not my issue. I could care less about drugs, alcohol or cigarettes- but leave me alone with a box of donuts and I am still that fat girl.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@calebs mommy, it doesn't help me feel any better when people compliment me and then follow it up with a negative comment like that. I've learned to just get used to it. It's good to know I'm not alone. About friendships I've also been warned that I might lose friends when I lose all the weight because I can be seen as a threat. I don't know if you've heard of that one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@fyre_storm, I didn't know it also happened to men! Except instead if "pretty" it's "handsome face" lol. it's so rare to meet men that have had/are going to have the surgery. It's refreshing to hear from a male perspective!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@calebs mommy, it doesn't help me feel any better when people compliment me and then follow it up with a negative comment like that. I've learned to just get used to it. It's good to know I'm not alone. About friendships I've also been warned that I might lose friends when I lose all the weight because I can be seen as a threat. I don't know if you've heard of that one.

Actually about a year ago when I got confirmation that I had hypothyroidism and I started taking synthroid this same friend (well exfriend) made the comment "I guess I will stop getting attention from guys now since you will lose weight and look hot"

I really just shook my head... I am married (so is she) I really don't care about getting attention from guys... I mean don't get me wrong a compliment is nice from a stranger here or there but come on! Honestly I don't need compliments from random men to make me feel good about myself... She was messed up on many levels... She would make fun of "fat" people right in front of me... Even people that were obviously smaller then me... She is one of those people who really doesn't gain much weight... However both her parents started to get heavy after they turned 30... We are both 27... Is it sad I hope in 3 years I see her out somewhere and she is fat! I just want her to know what it is like!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Caleb's mommy, I totally understand. I like you am also pretty young, 22. However I'm not married or coupled up. My thing is not wanting to get attention from guys I just want a guy to also be attracted to my non physical good qualities. I fear that when I lose weight I will attract guys that only like me based on appearance. I feel like emotionally I will always be a big girl because that's how I became an adult and when I had major transformation and maturity! I cannot emphasize enough to my friends that I'm getting the surgery so I can like me and I can feel good. Most people think its about aesthetics or vanity!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I consider myself a VERY lucky girl... My husband and I met when we were 18... I was in the best shape I have ever been in... I weighed 145lbs and I was fit... Over the past 9 years I have gained almost 100lbs... He is always telling me how beautiful I am... I will say but I am not the physically the same person who you were attracted to...so why are you still attracted to me... He said sure physically I am different but he was attracted to ME... Not becuase how I looked becuase of who I am... I am so glad I married him... I feel like he would love me no matter if I was a size 2...size 22...or size200!

Believe me I want this surgery so I can feel better in clothes and look better but that makes up about 15% of my reasons behind this surgery. I have a 3 year old and I want to set a healthy example for him... In order to do that I need to be at a healthy weight... I have PCOS and it took me 2 years and 2 miscarraiges to have my son... Then 2 miscarriages while trying to get pregnant with baby #2... After a year of tryig for #2 I decided to get this surgery and get Mirena IUD for birth control. My Dr thinks if I lose weight it may not cure my PCOS but it will help with my infertility and if needed make IVF easier.

You're right most people do feel like this is a vain surgery... Most of the people in my experience who feel that way have never had a problem with their weight and have never really felt that uncomfortable in their own skin!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I consider myself a VERY lucky girl... My husband and I met when we were 18... I was in the best shape I have ever been in... I weighed 145lbs and I was fit... Over the past 9 years I have gained almost 100lbs... He is always telling me how beautiful I am... I will say but I am not the physically the same person who you were attracted to...so why are you still attracted to me... He said sure physically I am different but he was attracted to ME... Not becuase how I looked becuase of who I am... I am so glad I married him... I feel like he would love me no matter if I was a size 2...size 22...or size200!

Believe me I want this surgery so I can feel better in clothes and look better but that makes up about 15% of my reasons behind this surgery. I have a 3 year old and I want to set a healthy example for him... In order to do that I need to be at a healthy weight... I have PCOS and it took me 2 years and 2 miscarraiges to have my son... Then 2 miscarriages while trying to get pregnant with baby #2... After a year of tryig for #2 I decided to get this surgery and get Mirena IUD for birth control. My Dr thinks if I lose weight it may not cure my PCOS but it will help with my infertility and if needed make IVF easier.

You're right most people do feel like this is a vain surgery... Most of the people in my experience who feel that way have never had a problem with their weight and have never really felt that uncomfortable in their own skin!

Hi I am on the same path for health and fertility sake. 2.5 years for #1 and 3 years of trying for #2 I have one fallopian tube fibrocystic breasts and ovaries. Pre cervical cancer a breast cancer scare and still wanting babies. Fat is not where its at when it comes to fertility! I just want to be healthy for crying out loud I'm only 28! I know I deserve a better path than this. Oh yeah I have had that same comment " you have such a pretty face if only" please if only I could share what its like to walk a mile in these fat shoes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Caleb's mommy, I totally understand. I like you am also pretty young, 22. However I'm not married or coupled up. My thing is not wanting to get attention from guys I just want a guy to also be attracted to my non physical good qualities. I fear that when I lose weight I will attract guys that only like me based on appearance. I feel like emotionally I will always be a big girl because that's how I became an adult and when I had major transformation and maturity! I cannot emphasize enough to my friends that I'm getting the surgery so I can like me and I can feel good. Most people think its about aesthetics or vanity!

My concern is knowing that those same men turned their nose up at me when I was over a certain # of lbs... so when I am thinner, I am supposed to forget all that and be interested in them because they're paying attention now? Not so much. I will not be giving anyone that I "used to know" the time of day.

I know, I am bitter. And I will probably be too busy having all of the fun to even notice......but know that fat girls/boys might always be fat inside. We remember that stuff. We might forgive but we will never forget.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol, I am not worried about looking ugly, but I wont look mean anymore. I like when people cross the street when I walk by. I'm a big Teddybear, now I will look like a starved Teddybear...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think bigger girls are so cute, it's a shame that our society is so size concerned. I didn't get my surgery because of the way I look, I got it so I don't get sick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×