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Dating And Vsg



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So I am considering starting to date again and am having a hard time trying to figure out what I would say. I am a very private person initially, till I get to know you. At some point in the dating process you will be going out for a meal and your date will see how little you eat. For people that don't understand, it may be hard for them to grasp the surgery, and may judge me(possibly harshly). Has anyone told someone new that they are dating? What did you say? When did you say it(how long into the relationship)? How did they react? Any help in this area would be greatly appreciated.

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Until it's more than just a date, I don't know if there is any real reason to say anything. For the most part I'm like you, being really private. I don't care to have people in my business, regardless of what that business is. With people I don't have to deal with on a daily basis I've been pretty general about the whole thing. When they ask what surgery I had, I tell them it was gastrointestinal and let them draw their own conclusions. I suppose, though, that being up front is a good way to weed out the jerks who'll judge you for having had a weight problem :D

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I went on a date during the stages where I could only eat soft food..nothing solid. I went on about 3 dates and the chick said you eating like u just had weight loss surgery O_o..... I couldnt lie, I told her!! She was very understanding.

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Thank you Bawse, how have things been since? I do agree not to lie, maybe I am over analyzing and my dates will be more understanding and not really care.

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A lot of people are on diets. if you get a comment on how much you eat you just say that you are on a diet and don't eat much. He won't think twice about it.

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But when you"re 6'3 335 lbs and you cant finish a house salad people start to put 2 and 2 together, I think it is much easier for a female to say she is on a diet, I have not told any of my coworkers I had the surgery and when we go out to eat together I get so tired of having to explain why I eat such small portions. I remember before the surgery my plate would be fulled with food and people would say "hey man u need to cut back ur eating too much" now when I have a small plate of food they say "U know damn well that aint gone feel you up" Thats the Crap I dont like!!!!!!!

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You can arrange things for the first few dates that aren't food orientated! It's par of our lifestyle changes anyway! :)

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On my first date with my now bf he noticed I hardly ate. I told him I wasn't that hungry and I had a big lunch. That always seems to work. He knows about my lifestyle and surgery now. At first he would forget and tell me to finish my food. He's used to it now :) I'm a very cheap date. We split meals a lot.

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But when you"re 6'3 335 lbs and you cant finish a house salad people start to put 2 and 2 together, I think it is much easier for a female to say she is on a diet, I have not told any of my coworkers I had the surgery and when we go out to eat together I get so tired of having to explain why I eat such small portions. I remember before the surgery my plate would be fulled with food and people would say "hey man u need to cut back ur eating too much" now when I have a small plate of food they say "U know damn well that aint gone feel you up" Thats the Crap I dont like!!!!!!!

I know, why do people so have to be in our food business.......I am sure everyone gets this.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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