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Selfish Discouraging Friends :(



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I never even thought about hiding it..I tell strangers Co workers family ..enemy's..I'm exited about it..its me and the way I have always seen it is ...if you don't like me for me then what are you doing still around..if you wanna judge..go ahead..my world is still spinning and I'm still in the center..I never even thought of keeping it a secret..people that don't want the best for you..screw em..I don't see it as cheating ..I see it as action

.a sacrifice to have the life you want..over eating is the only dysfunctional behavior that people can see visually. You could be a cold hearted b***h ..but no one will know it. You could be a drug addict and hide that..you could be self rightious and when youbealk into a room no one will know ..some people have abuse their families ...drink too much ..horrible parents..hearltess..selfish..when they walk into a room.

You have no idea what there issues are..and they can fake it all day and night..a fat person can't do that. People know immedialty they eat to much. I would have rather eaten too Much than been any of those things listed above.. all of the thongs listed above are horrible things that over time cause big problems..the only thing about the person that eats too much is they aren't hurting anyone else but them selves. So when I compare me with that person that would judge me based on the choice to have surgery....I would say I'm the better person..I have a heart of gold..and I never needed to judge anyone in my life so that I could feel better about me..I can sit with a homeless person or menatlly insane person without a judgement..so bottom line if your judging me because of this choice ..your the one with the problem..and there is no surgery to fix what your suffering from.

So say it proud ...don't be ashamed peeps!..

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None of my friends even know I'm doing this. And I never plan on telling anyone. Only my brother and husband knows. Its none of their business.

I agree. My mom and husband know. If you tell someone they have pretty hair or skin should they feel obligated to tell one what product they use or how they do it? No. It's not lying, it's just nobody's business I think. Avoids all the jealousy, judgment and negative attitudes.

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I never even thought about hiding it..I tell strangers Co workers family ..enemy's..I'm exited about it..its me and the way I have always seen it is ...if you don't like me for me then what are you doing still around..if you wanna judge..go ahead..my world is still spinning and I'm still in the center..I never even thought of keeping it a secret..people that don't want the best for you..screw em..I don't see it as cheating ..I see it as action

.a sacrifice to have the life you want..over eating is the only dysfunctional behavior that people can see visually. You could be a cold hearted b***h ..but no one will know it. You could be a drug addict and hide that..you could be self rightious and when youbealk into a room no one will know ..some people have abuse their families ...drink too much ..horrible parents..hearltess..selfish..when they walk into a room.

You have no idea what there issues are..and they can fake it all day and night..a fat person can't do that. People know immedialty they eat to much. I would have rather eaten too Much than been any of those things listed above.. all of the thongs listed above are horrible things that over time cause big problems..the only thing about the person that eats too much is they aren't hurting anyone else but them selves. So when I compare me with that person that would judge me based on the choice to have surgery....I would say I'm the better person..I have a heart of gold..and I never needed to judge anyone in my life so that I could feel better about me..I can sit with a homeless person or menatlly insane person without a judgement..so bottom line if your judging me because of this choice ..your the one with the problem..and there is no surgery to fix what your suffering from.

So say it proud ...don't be ashamed peeps!..

I think it's great that you feel so open about your decision and I applaud your positive attitude. However, I can only speak for myself, but I don't think that those of us who don't want to tell many people are ashamed. For me, it's just that I don't want the negativity of judgmental people before my surgery. I know it's their issue, not mine, but I have enough on my mind without having to wonder about so-called friends' attitudes. We all have different comfort levels on this issue and we're all deserving of support for our decisions.

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To be honest I'm just embarrassed. I don't want to b the fat girl who had to have surgery to lose weight. Since I've been a teenager I've been called fat even when I was just slightly chubby. So I'm not gonna be labeled again and get even more back lash. When I have surgery ill tell people I had my appendix taken out and that's y I was hospitalized.

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Told my ex-husband that I need my gallbladder removed, since he'll have to watch our 5yr old. His primary reason for the affair and divorce was my weight. So I never told him I had lapband, ill be damned if I have to say it failed an I'm getting sleeved. Not giving him the satisfaction. Plan on using this new tool to make myself healthy, if I just happen to be come a skinny hot momma I can't help it if in the 10000 degree Texas weather I pick up my son in tiny shorts and sexy top to make his life more hell with his psycho gf hahaha.

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Told my ex-husband that I need my gallbladder removed' date=' since he'll have to watch our 5yr old. His primary reason for the affair and divorce was my weight. So I never told him I had lapband, ill be damned if I have to say it failed an I'm getting sleeved. Not giving him the satisfaction. Plan on using this new tool to make myself healthy, if I just happen to be come a skinny hot momma I can't help it if in the 10000 degree Texas weather I pick up my son in tiny shorts and sexy top to make his life more hell with his psycho gf hahaha.[/quote']

I hope he regrets it..what a dooosh bag!..his loss!

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Hell yea! Here is a big f you to every guy that said "you would be real pretty if u just lost some weight " . Douches.

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I didn't have good responses either. I have five sisters, and my husband, and his siblings (13 including spouses). My older sister says she was upset because I would finally look hot she has always told me I would be the prettiest but because I was fat Im not (cruel I know), and that somehow bothered her, my other sister said she wouldn't be able to look at me and think I worked hard and lost my weight, she said she could only look at the doctors for my success, my mom tried discouraging me after my other sister said stuff, my husband was mad for a while til something changed his mind. The only ones supportive from the beginning were hubs mom and sister and sister in law (she had the roux en y bypass). My doctor has lost 2 patients in 10 years, one to a heart attack and one to a leak. He has not lost a patient in 4 years. You always acknowledge the risk. Also after being your weight for so long they probably fear who you might become, and how this surgery well impact you and your life. So don't sweat it just let it roll off your back and move on. People who love you are going have to adjust to a big change, and thats normal took get reactions, like that.

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Once you do this and start losing weight...your friends will wonder why they ever questioned you. It'll be so obvious. Just stay focused and be excited. It'll be good.

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Appendix good one' date=' I said partial hysterectomy, if I get pregnant I totally busted!

[/quote']

U better not say hysterectomy then ....say gallbladder......Me I'm having my gallbladder removed....hernia ....n getting my flux taking care of...G.E.R.D.....yea its a surgery for that .....lol .....Is that to much???

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I have waited 8 almost 9 months to hear the words you've been approved...I worked hard at what I needed in order to be blessed with having my surgery done on Nov 27th without no cost to me...this surgery means alot to me...my health is at risk if I don't loose this weight...people that are suppose to be my friends and support are bringing me down with all their negativity and words of I know people who have had a gastric surgery and they died from it' date=' don't do it...why would you discourage a person that is 2wks away from surgery...why would you do that at all...(sighs) I was so excited when I got the news that I was approved and now im frighten because I have 3 kids to live for...im still gonna do what I have to do and keep my faith...im not gonna let them get to me...it just hurt my feelings to know that they are not supporting me on my journey. :((([/quote']

Wow!!!! I'm going through the same exact situation,it will discourage you,but do what you need to do for your health we're going to be okay.I went through a struggle getting approved,but it finally came through and my pre-op is on December 5. God have us in his hands stay positive,and let me know how surgery go I'm scared and excited.

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I had my gallbladder removed 5 years ago. Couldnt say that. So when I go I'm just gonna b like I'm sick of getting sick so I'm gonna be on a serious health kick.

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I told people at work I was having cysts on my ovaries removes... I have PCOS so it is believeable... I am not close with anyone from my office and I feel like it is not their business I am having this done... In my family I have only told my husband, my mom, and my sister in law... Eveyone else I will tell if they ask... If they don't they can assume all they want but I also don't need negative comments that may come from them if I do tell them before my surgery. If I tell them after it is already done...

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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