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Approved For Band To Sleeve - But My Family Isn't Supportive



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Like to many on this board I've been overweight my entire life.

The moment for me that's stuck in my head is a conversation I had with my ex husband only months after over separation.

I was 22, and weighted well over 250 pounds. Throughout our 3 year marriage, he was very much in shape, yet killed any drive I had to lose weight myself. Actually saying he didn't want a skinny woman, and would leave if I lost weight.

Well, in this conversation, he says to me, "yea, your weight was an issue for me". That was 2002, 10 years ago, and not only do I still remember the his words, but I remember the hurt and still feel it when I remember that conversation.

In 2008 at about 270ish I had the Lap band surgery, without complications. Overall, the Band hasn't worked in helping me lose weight. It has helped me maintain my weight. Before the band, I averaged 250-275...with the band my average has been 230-250.

In 2010 I started having problems with the band and had to remove all fills. I attempted to get it removed, but didn't have the right insurance at the time.

However, I got engaged in October of 2011, and in May of 2012, started a very serious bootcamp in which I lost 30 lbs before our wedding in September. I'm the smallest I've ever been in my life at 220.

My insurance now is such that I've been approved to not only get the band removed but to also get the Gastric Sleeve.

My husband is NOT AT ALL interested in getting the sleeve, given all the potential complications.

I'm full of fear of being that 275lb woman in a few years, this time with kids, that no man will want.

I Need support and guidance on what to do........

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I would base your decision on your health - not on "in a few years....no man will want"

I would go to in person counseling/therapy to make this decision.

I had the sleeve on Sept 10. FOR ME, the complications of not having the surgery far outweighed the complications associated with the surgery. I have no regrets and have been happy with my weightloss so far.

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I had a revision on September 10th with no complications at all. Any surgery has risks attached to it. Maybe review with him what he is afraid of, what complications maybe he is just a fraid to lose you. It has been the best decision I could have made and have no regrets. Good Luck.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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