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Anybody Else Get Offended Or Is It Just Me!



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I've lost 125 pounds and I feel great inside and out but even at my heaviest I didn't feel ugly. I'm a hairdresser so I see people all day long and I'm getting tired of hearing how pretty and cute I am now. Was I not pretty and cute when I was fat! it's just starting to offend me, maybe I'm just emotional this week or something. Anybody else feel this way too?

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I am just in the beginning of this phase. Went out to eat with a few friends and they were like "You look amazing" Now remind you I have only lost 40 some pounds at this time, I simply say thanks or thank you. and after I get back home my mood turns more sour. I asked my husband was I really that horrid before hand. I know people are just being nice and trying to pay you a compliment and encourage you etc, but sometimes it can inadvertently make us feel ashamed, embarrassed etc.

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I've lost 125 pounds and I feel great inside and out but even at my heaviest I didn't feel ugly. I'm a hairdresser so I see people all day long and I'm getting tired of hearing how pretty and cute I am now. Was I not pretty and cute when I was fat! it's just starting to offend me' date=' maybe I'm just emotional this week or something. Anybody else feel this way too?[/quote']

Maybe you could redirect the comments by saying something like, "Well being healthy is so much more important than being cute." then just give them a look that says, I know I was cute before.

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Boy, I hope I don't come across as a jerk here, but if you look at my before and after pictures, which one looks healthier? Which one is more appealing from a strictly physical point of view? Which one do you think my wife prefers?

I don't want to come across as a saying obese people look "horrid", to quote Storm, but surely it can be appreciated that someone who has gone from morbidly obese or larger BMI to a healthier BMI is going to look healthier. Tell me how many people who look healthier don't look better?

It's one of the reasons I did this, for sure. I don't know if I looked "horrid" before, but surely I know I look better.

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Maybe you could redirect the comments by saying something like' date=' "Well being healthy is so much more important than being cute." then just give them a look that says, I know I was cute before.[/quote']

I soo tell people that all the time... I was always cute...

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Sadly, this is a commentary on life today...if you are fat/obese, you are invisible in many ways. I am fortunate to be an 'older' sleever, 52 year old so my friends (45+ in age) are more mature and less critical of physical appearance (to a degree!).

If someone tells me I look good, I have, and will, continue to smile and say thanks! I'm doing this for me, so if people are commenting on how I look (better)as a slimmer person...who the %&*# cares???

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wheni lost 60 pounds i never got sick of the compliments. i wouldnt take it personal. congrats on your weight loss :)

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Some ppl actually think fat faces look better (and sometimes they do; beauty is in the eye of the beholder)...but i think i can understand your frustration even tho i have never lost any weight. I would just say something like

'thats how blessed i am..beautiful before and beautiful after...thank ya!"..... :D

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Compliments are just one more motivator to me. I know what I'm doing is the right thing for me health-wise and looking better is the best side effect of weight loss I can think of! They are just trying to be encouraging and supportive. Don't you know you'd be peeved if no one commented on your loss. It's a double edged sword. Embrace the compliments and be thrilled you have friends who are excited for your journey.

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I so agree pdxman!

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I am lucky that the people in my life have always been complimentary regardless of my weight. I have been overweight my entire life, so I have yo-yoed forever, sometimes I am sure looking better than at other times.

I know I have said the exact same thing to people who have lost a weight and in my opinion really did look great (however they did it). I know the struggle I know how nice it is when someone comments... Now maybe coming from someone overweight it was taken to be just what it was, an excited compliment on a great accomplishment. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, unless someone says "You looks so much BETTER now" I'll take it, happily.

We will all get much more attention after losing, purely because it is such a difference in a relatively short period of time.

Take the compliments at face value and enjoy every single one. You have earned it!!

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at my heaviest I didn't feel ugly. getting tired of hearing how pretty and cute I am now. Was I not pretty and cute when I was fat! it's just starting to offend me, maybe I'm just emotional

SpaceyCasey

Congrats on loosing 125 lbs - terrific - you must be so proud and happy

i do understand completely how you feel about people saying you look great now, making you feel like ok, how the hell did i look before :(

we're elated to receive those wonderful comments about our appearance, butttttt,

i sometimes do remember/think about life pre-sleeved, my health and weight problems

i don't dwell on that part of my past, i would be a basket case if i did

i'm just happy in the present - looking toward to a continued happy me in the future too :)

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Well I was cute at a heavier weight, but not at my heaviest. I look GREAT now (or so I've heard).

Either way, I just know I'm me. I feel much better now in my clothes and my size and for my health and the rest of it, whatever.

Instead of wondering how you looked before, just say thank you and keep on moving on.... that's the best advice I could possibly offer.

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I have a friend who is a pretty normal sized 30 ish lady, she had some health things that made her eat really healthy/clean for several months, she dropped 20lb and frankly she does look amazing now. She was cute before, but she is notably HAWT now. Both of these things can be true. You could definitely have been cute before, and still be even cuter, to a wider audience now. That's ok... Own it :-)

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The people that say you look great and move on to a different topic don't offend me it's the ones that go on and on about it and say stuff like I bet your husbands happy huh and wow you must feel so much better and won't shut up about it. I'm pretty good at changing the subject though. I know I'm super emotional this week and I'll get over it. So I know I'm just ranting but it feels good to know I'm not the only one.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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