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How Did You Tell Your Spouse About This Decision?



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My beautiful daughter had surgery a year ago. She is very near goal and looks great. She had a rocky start (gall bladder) but when she got over that she worked her sleeve and she did awesome.

When I told my husband I had an appt with her dr. He was accepting. Now that I have lost 33 lbs, he is a little excited with me to see the changes. He would love me at whatever weight, but it is nice to know he sees that I have a tool to help me do something I have wanted for so long.

He was a little freaked out after my surgery but my daughter was there with him and she knew what to expect. I had an easy time of it and he walked the halls with me faithfully! He does however eat whatever he wants and whenever he wants and it is up to me to keep myself in check.

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Every since I have told my husband his freinds are all weighing in on the subject. So he keeps saying you know that you can eat around the sleeve an it most likely won't work. I tell him every time that I do not want or need the advice of all his skinny uneducated men friends. My husband is very supportive and is even paying everything for me and will be there to take care of me and has decided competely that it is my decision. I know he is scared and that is why he is talking to all his friends

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When I first looked into it, I asked my husband to go with me to an informational seminar. Neither of us went to that one. Almost two years later, I was heavier and more frustrated. I again asked my husband to attend the seminar with me.

The day of the seminar, he had to work late and was unable to go. He was a bit frustrated about that because he knew I was serious this time. I took my daughter instead. When we got home, I was able to talk to my husband about it. He didn't think I needed to do it, but he supported my choice. He did go to a pre-op support group meeting with me, and he was able to hear from people who had all of the different types of surgeries.

My husband knew my weight was a barrier for me because I had talked to him quite a bit about it. I actually wrote about it for my thesis when I got my master's degree in 2007, so my husband knew my concerns and worries even though he didn't see me as fat.

My husband was really worried about the surgery. He was worried something would happen to me. When I came out of recovery, I didn't look very good. I had told him the first day would be the worst day, but it still didn't prepare him. My blood pressure kept dropping and my heart rate was real low (in the 20s at one point) when I first got back to my room. I was out of it, and he didn't realize it was normal. I improved quickly, but he was worn out emotionally. By the time I was coming out of the surgery drugs, he was ready for a nap! LOL.

But look at your progress so far! He must be so excited to have you safe but more so healthier now :)

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My beautiful daughter had surgery a year ago. She is very near goal and looks great. She had a rocky start (gall bladder) but when she got over that she worked her sleeve and she did awesome.

When I told my husband I had an appt with her dr. He was accepting. Now that I have lost 33 lbs, he is a little excited with me to see the changes. He would love me at whatever weight, but it is nice to know he sees that I have a tool to help me do something I have wanted for so long.

He was a little freaked out after my surgery but my daughter was there with him and she knew what to expect. I had an easy time of it and he walked the halls with me faithfully! He does however eat whatever he wants and whenever he wants and it is up to me to keep myself in check.

30 lbs is amazzzzing for 1 month out of surgery! Congrats. That's great that you had someone close to you that went through this prior so you and your husband knew what to expect and trust that Dr. too. Question for you--- you said your daughter had gallbladder issues...that's another concern of mine as I had gallbladder removed in June. 1) I want to find a Dr. that would (could) do keyhole on me so I don't have to have my stomach look like a complete battleground but 2) worried that I would have to wait longer to have sleeve as this surgery is still kind of new..... I also had appendectomy laproscopic as well in 2006.... so my belly button has top and bottom scars. :(

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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