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Dating And Romance - New Beginnings!



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As I have lost weight (down 90+ now), and my energy is returning, I am so aware of how much I would like to find a man to share my life with. I feel like I have more and more to give - and that there are so many possibilities ahead of me - great stuff - fun adventures - tender discoveries. I am almost 50, no kids, never married, and in so many ways beginning my life over again (or maybe for the first time!)

What I have wanted for a long time was a family man - a guy who had a strong character, a good job, cared for his family and friends, enjoyed life and a good laugh, believed in God/church, and had goals for himself (ie. traveling, better job, personal growth, making a difference in the world, etc.)

To be honest, I don't think I have ever dated a man like this! (gulp) I am coming to realize that perhaps I didn't attract this type of man because I wasn't treating myself well and was not exhibiting the security and qualities he might be looking for in a woman. Maybe on paper I was... Sure - I went to church, had good friends, a good job, could certainly laugh, and had goals - BUT - I didn't respect myself much and certainly didn't "shine" as the fun, beautiful woman God made me to be. I mean it - I hid - a lot - even in the midst of what many thought was a great life - I hid - behind 200 extra pounds.

Today I spent the day going to garage sales, antique shops, and enjoying the gorgeous fall colors with a girl friend and my dog. Tonight I feel like going line-dancing (this cracks me up that I want to do this - but I do). I want to go watch and join people as we move and breathe and enjoy the music. I want to laugh and live! Tomorrow - I want to take a boat over to Washington Island (I am on vaca in Door County, Wisconsin) and find some hidden away beautiful spots to take pictures and sit and read a book. Then I want to see the play about Vince Lombardi and enjoy 1/4 of a steak tomorrow night (lol - we are cheap dates now, aren't we?) Then I want to go to the Mariner Museum and investigate all the stuff they have about old \-time sailors and boats and the wreck of the Edmond's Fitzgerald. Oh - and check in on the Ryder cup and see how the US is doing.

See - I'm fun! Could there possibly be a neat guy out there for me? Lord - I sure hope so!!!!

Ok my fellow single sleevers - where are you all at with dating? Especially those of you who have sold yourself short in this department and are thinking about getting out there and opening yourselves up to life and love again - or maybe for the first time?

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Chicago...you have just quoted my story as well. 45, never married, no kids. Was just sleeved on 8/28 and am down 30 lbs so far. But I too am looking at this as a brand new beginning - ready to live the next half of my life, and not jsut exist.

And the description of the type of man that you are looking for or hoping to be found my mirrors mine to a "T". I too, have always settled for what my low self-esteem allowed e to think was all I was worthy for. But I know that I am worth more than rubies and that that man is out there...for you and for me!!

Thank you for posting this!! LEt's keep in touch!

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Loved reading your post!

I met the love of my life post op! We are talking about when we get married and about our kids too :-) The confidence that comes along with your new body is so helpful in the dating department. I am so excited for you! You deserve it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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