Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Fiance Mourns The Fatness



Recommended Posts

So, my surgery date is getting closer. Nov 5th. I can hardly wait. Anyhoo, my fiancé has as if late been making comments that make me think he is going to miss all the fatness. He has not discouraged me from getting surgery though.

It's just curious. He was happy a couple years back when I lost lots on the HCG diet. Do you think this is just his way if telling me he is nervous about the surgery? Cause I can't imagine he will miss the fatness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure that's it, he is just concerned for your well being. My husband worried a lot as well but never tried to sabotage my surgery or my plans for it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that has to be it. He is worried, but feeling like he should be encouraging. He actually rubbed my belly the other day, which is just really weird when there is no baby there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband said he'll be supportive when it's time for surgery, but he is also saying "I'd rather have you fat than not at all" (meaning death). Ugh! So marose!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He is most likely worried. I know my husband was, but it was very supportive and still is to this day. He actually has a little bit of a harder time now because I am getting more attention from other men and it makes him jealous...which he hasn't really had to be in the last 12 years! But when I ask him if he thinks I am too skinny now, he always says no and that it makes him so happy to see that I am finally happy and confident with myself. The only thing he has fessed up to missing is my big boobs! But he is also very willing to pay for new ones (I want them...he is not arguing!).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of guys probably worry women will be more attractive and might look for something "better." Everyone has their insecurities. Weight loss definitely changes confidence levels and relationships.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say he is just worried, my hubby was too. He is loving me now, I am so much happier and he is too!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It might not be worry. I've lost about 70 pounds and while everyone gives me compliments... I know my hubby really misses my 244lb body. He always says how he loved to feel my weight on him and how everything was so much curvier and fuller. My boobs are gone. My ass is gone. And although I do look sexier overall I understand where he is coming from. He is 180 6" and he is trying to be supportve but he saw my "weight" but never my "weight problem"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband has done that same thing to me. He is supportive and excited for me but has made comments that I'm going to be all thin and hot and I'm going to leave him. So not true! He is the love of my life fat or thin. I think it's just insecurities. He is so used to me being heavy and he is comfortable with us. I'm sure your man (and mine) will be fine!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It might not be worry. I've lost about 70 pounds and while everyone gives me compliments... I know my hubby really misses my 244lb body. He always says how he loved to feel my weight on him and how everything was so much curvier and fuller. My boobs are gone. My ass is gone. And although I do look sexier overall I understand where he is coming from. He is 180 6" and he is trying to be supportve but he saw my "weight" but never my "weight problem"

I think despite what the media tells us, there are men and women out there that find a full figure attractive and sexy! My hubby has loved me and has found me attractive no matter what size I have been.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband has done that same thing to me. He is supportive and excited for me but has made comments that I'm going to be all thin and hot and I'm going to leave him. So not true! He is the love of my life fat or thin. I think it's just insecurities. He is so used to me being heavy and he is comfortable with us. I'm sure your man (and mine) will be fine!!

It is new territory for them. My husband made comments like that too (and, as I said, has a little healthy jealousy!). I have told him over and over that he is my everything and he never ever has to worry!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has never been all that into the big girl thing. He's only 140 on a heavy day. That is why his comments made me think "WTH, did he just say that"?

He could be insecure about what the future holds, but having gone through a large weightloss with me before, he knows it won't make me leave. All it means is more time at the gym and less naps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe he's mourning the naps then. Ha! Ha!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has never been all that into the big girl thing. He's only 140 on a heavy day. That is why his comments made me think "WTH, did he just say that"?

He could be insecure about what the future holds, but having gone through a large weightloss with me before, he knows it won't make me leave. All it means is more time at the gym and less naps.

Not to overplay the amateur psychologist here, but my experience with guy friends is that short guys and really thin guys seem to have more issues with self-esteem and confidence than guys of more average height and weight. Maybe even moreso than fat guys in some ways, because being thin and/or short isn't considered "macho." It's also hard for really thin guys to gain weight, maybe even harder than for fat guys to lose weight. And it's impossible to get taller.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband commented tonight that he was gonna miss my booty. He loves full figured women. He has been by my side every step of the way. I think when a man loves you he loves now matter what.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 2 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×