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Gossip at Work: Vent



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One of my co-workers called to see how I'm doing and she told me that more people at work know about my surgery than I told. So someone has been talking.

Ok, I can deal with that. But then she said that one of these people is actually angry that I didn't tell them myself, angry that they heard about it from someone else.

I wish I could just hear that and let it go in one ear and out the other. Instead I am sitting here at home and it's eating at me (interesting choice of words?).

I am going to think of this as a loud car driving by, one that needs a muffler, and it's awful to hear but then it's gone and it's quiet again.

I just hate office gossip. Vent over. Thanks for listening.

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I'm sorry to hear that some of your work colleagues have betrayed your confidence in spreading around the fact that you had this surgery. As for the person who is angry that they didn't hear it from you, ask yourself just what right they have to be angry? If you didn't want to tell them, that's your business, and yours alone. Office gossip can be really petty. Either you ignore it, or you face it (which may be a waste of your energy) by going to see the angered person and telling them that you didn't want everyone knowing your private business. Anyway, try not to dwell on it because it's really not worth it. I hope they all get over it and that things settle down for you at work. I have not told a soul at work, but since I eat lunch with colleagues everyday, there are many times that giving an explanation has crossed my mind. I'm too afraid of their judgement.

Hugs to you,

Deana.

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I know it is easy to say, hard to do, but

...let 'em talk....

I think the jealousy comment is most likely true, if I weren't banded, I'd be jealous too.

hugs and congratulations...

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Congrats on your banding!

Too bad these people have nothing other to do than gossip. Pathetic.

As for the person who is mad, I would bring it up and tell them your medical issues are your personal business. Simply none of their business!

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Is the person that is angry obese? If so, maybe they are jealous or embarassed by the fact that you have faced the fact that you have a weight issue and are doing something about it. As far as approaching that person about why you didn't tell them and their anger, I would just let it be. You don't owe them an explanation about anything.

I would be quick to remind everyone though, that if you don't want everyone in your office to know you have the band, then don't tell anyone. Especially if you work in office with primarily woman. People can't resist gossiping at work.

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I wouldn't address this issue until (or unless) she confronts you with it. Simply tell her that you know that she is sensitive enough to respect your choice to keep your personal information private.......end of issue!

Carol

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Woodys put it absolutely best.

Saying it that way, it makes it clear that you are not defensive or angry but are simply expecting (righfully) that the other person keep your confidence.

Well said, Woodys!

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She was gossiping TO you about gossip ABOUT you, gee, that's helpful.

Try your best to put it out of your mind. You aren't Miss Cleo and can't know what's going on in other people's heads. If someone has a problem with it, they need to talk directly to you about it or else suck it up and deal. Even if the gossip is true, the fact that someone else has a problem with a decision you've made about your own personal life, it's still THEIR problem. Not yours.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

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