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Truthful Regrets, Anyone?



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You're a girl after my own heart. I'm just about 2 weeks out and I had a meltdown last night. It was my grandmother's birthday. My aunt was suppose to only bring over cake. I don't have much of a sweet-tooth so that didn't bother me. She called 15 minutes before arriving saying that she was also bringing pizza. Suddenly I felt like the odd one out, and wondered why I would do this to myself. I didn't want to be the only one not eating, and I didn't want to draw attention to myself by eating something else. And I didn't want to watch everyone eat gooey, yummy pizza while i had chicken salad. If i had more time, I'd have made something else! After a good cry, I realized that my family wanted to see me and didn't care about whether I ate or not. I can understand your frustrations, but I also am looking forward to the day when I can say that getting sleeved was the best decision that I have ever made!

Let's hang in there and hopefully soon will be on the other side, looking back and laughing at how much we freaked out!

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I was kind of at the end of my rope for the last week. I was getting pretty bummed, on a stall, hormones going wild, and I felt like I had done all of this for a small amount and that I'd probably just end up fat again. I cried a bit, mourned food some (Everyone seems to want pizza this week and it's been something I'm craving), and had a little mini hissyfit to myself. I hit a point where I knew I was acting downright silly. I told myself the next day would be better, and it was. I woke up with a positive attitude, got my mind off stuff at work, and came home feeling good. I tried on some old clothes that had previously been too small, and I now have about 4 pairs of pants I can wear again - mostly 26s, and a few 24s. Today, I woke up and the scale was down a little.

I'm sure it's not the last time I will have a hard time, but it taught me some about how to handle future hard times. Perseverance is worth it. You'll get through this and when you do, you'll be thanking your past self for having so much patience.

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Six weeks out and f'in miserable. Not the food, or lack thereof, but the idea that I had part of my stomach removed and for what? I'm taking in a minuscule amount of calories a day, have little energy, and am very slow to lose the weight. I miss being normal. I dread mealtime. I dread weigh-ins. My hair is falling out. I feel like I should have just invested in therapy to make myself feel better about being overweight - I probably would have been okay with that, and at least my hair wouldn't have been coming out in handfuls. Too late now, so I just have to live with the consequences.

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My truthful regrets:

  • That I didn't do this back in 2006 instead of getting my band. Ok, it wasn't really known back then, but still. How much would I be rocking goal weight by now if it had?
  • I'm not entirely sure how to word this as a regret. It is, and it isn't. I regret going into this knowing it was all going to have to be "wait and see" but also having deep-down expectations that my weightloss would be as fast, if not faster, than my band weightloss was. Boy did I have it wrong.

My story is a little different. I knew what to expect from WLS (not the sleeve in particular, but WLS). I had a good idea what the pain would be like. I had already made most of the behavioral (chewing, small bites, different meal times, etc.) changes - and a large number of the psychological ones too. I knew my hair was going to fall out and that by bowels were going to hell in a handbasket and that "didn't agree with me" is most likely an overly positive euphamism for "OWWW MFer!!! OMFG!!!" I knew my body would get ridiculously saggy again. I knew that sometimes I'd stall, and sometimes the weight would fly off. Anything fairly universal across WLS I knew...

...so I never had the buyer's remorse, but I did have periods of extreme frustration.

This was almost a chronological opposite from what I was used to. With the band you start off able to eat anything, and then that tapers off as you reach restriction. With this, you start off very slowly, then build back up as tolerated. Although I'd been through the band thing for about 6 years, I still had to relearn so much, and it was tough. I went from something I had more or less mastered, to being a noob again. Especially during my first 3 - 5 weeks when I was still having to make decisions like, "Eat my Vitamin, or drink some Water, because I can't do both..." or having to decide, "Is today a hydration day, or a food day, or a Protein day?" because I really could only pick one.

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Six weeks out and f'in miserable. Not the food, or lack thereof, but the idea that I had part of my stomach removed and for what? I'm taking in a minuscule amount of calories a day, have little energy, and am very slow to lose the weight. I miss being normal. I dread mealtime. I dread weigh-ins. My hair is falling out. I feel like I should have just invested in therapy to make myself feel better about being overweight - I probably would have been okay with that, and at least my hair wouldn't have been coming out in handfuls. Too late now, so I just have to live with the consequences.

I'm sorry you are having such a bad experience. I have no advice for the hair issue as mine is falling out too. But have you talked to your nutritionist about the slow weightloss? Have you tried changing things up a bit? I was having the same problem so I started really cutting carbs. I eat lots of Protein meat and veggies..small amounts of fruit and the weight is coming off much faster. You might tell your doctor about the low energy level because it may be due to a medical problem such as thyroid..wouldn't hurt to have it all checked out. I hope things get better for ya :)

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Thanks. I see the doctor and nut next week and also made an appointment with my PCP to get some bloodwork done. I've been eating very limited carbs, and getting in as much Protein as I can. I could probably up my Water intake - I just started using Mio to make it taste better and that's got me drinking more. I think I'm just a slow loser - without the positive reinforcement of the scale going down, it's hard to be upbeat about living through this surgery.

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I'm just over 2 weeks out and I've gotta say' date=' I'm miserable. I don't know if I've hit the depression stage or what but I keep asking why I did this to myself. I was working out every day and had lost 25lbs on my own before surgery and kept telling myself the sleeve was a preventative measure to keep myself from getting that fluffy again. Now I can't stop thinking that I ruined my life (as I knew it). Of course, prior to May I wasn't working out and wasn't watching my intake, which is why I got up to 240lbs. But in the last 3 months I took control and really thought the sleeve would be my new best friend like everyone on here seems to say. So did you ever have any regrets? I've heard the "my only regret is not getting it sooner" but please save that response. I want to know about real regrets. If you had/have them, how and when did you get past it? When will I start to be okay with my sleeve and not feel like I'll never be "normal" again?[/quote']

I've had regrets ever since doing it I had a bleed a day later had 4 lots of blood transfusions spent a week in icu almost died. My surgery was 3 weeks wednesday and I spoke to my doctor and told him I'm having sharp pain when I breath and in my back and and shoulder he said it was muscular found my self at the hospital today they gave me morphine and sent me to the private and admitted me did a Ct scan and it showed Fluid under the lungs and a huge hematoma on my stomach which they think may be a leak from my stomach incased or from the bleed I had. So here iam today laying in the hospital bed getting I'v fluids and antibiotics and nil by mouth. So I've being regretting it from the Start. I didn't realise how big the change was and I wish I didn't do it as I'm 18 years old and struggling. Good luck to everyone hope I get to that stage where I appreciate it and not regret it anymore.

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When I was 2 weeks out I was miserable, depressed, sad. 3 weeks out I had a full blown breakdown because i heard my husband open a can of coke. 5 weeks out was Thanksgiving and I wanted to massacre everyone in the house. So yea... I pretty much hated myself and was mad at my husband for not telling me it would be absolutely insane to remove 80% of my stomach. Lol.

I swear to you it gets better. All of those miserable moments, days, weeks, will be a distant memory and you will be able to laugh about them. I have no regrets. Not one. This past weekend I bought my dream jeans (super skinny white Express jeans. Size 8). You will get there!!

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Sorry to say but the only regret I have is not doing it sooner. If you thought this journey was gonna be easy you were wrong. I think we all have that moment that we say "What the hell did I do to myself?!?!" but you have to understand that your body is still healing and it takes time...sometimes lots of time. I will be 6 months tomorrow and I can finally eat salad (oh how I missed you!) everyone is different as far as what they can eat and when. You will see give it time...I promise! And when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere I pull out old pictures and think to myself who is that person? And I know I did the right thing!!

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I was filling so like that I was depress I had it

On my sleeve on 6/25/ and my birthday was on

7/2 I could not eat or had a mix drink I was depressed

2 months we on vacation . we went out to eat a I could't nothing much where places so I had some bq Beans off omeome plat I so wanted to have some ! But when I did they made me fill bad my 24 year son said He didn't need to take all of it out lol I told him it will

Get better

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I've had regrets ever since doing it I had a bleed a day later had 4 lots of blood transfusions spent a week in icu almost died. My surgery was 3 weeks wednesday and I spoke to my doctor and told him I'm having sharp pain when I breath and in my back and and shoulder he said it was muscular found my self at the hospital today they gave me morphine and sent me to the private and admitted me did a Ct scan and it showed Fluid under the lungs and a huge hematoma on my stomach which they think may be a leak from my stomach incased or from the bleed I had. So here iam today laying in the hospital bed getting I'v fluids and antibiotics and nil by mouth. So I've being regretting it from the Start. I didn't realise how big the change was and I wish I didn't do it as I'm 18 years old and struggling. Good luck to everyone hope I get to that stage where I appreciate it and not regret it anymore.

Oh my goodness, I hope you will be ok. Please keep us posted and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

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I know I will I couldn't get mad at no one!' I did this for me !!' I don't have much support at all

I don't have No family but my kids and my

Husband!!! So they didn't say much my dauther supports me a lot and I haven fitness pals but my birthday was hard as hell I made it and it's getting better my feet and legs don't hurt now life is hard but I know I won't gain it all back like I did before ..

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I'm not sure how I feel. I had surgery on 7/25/12 and have lost 27 lbs since my surgery date. Problem is eating' date=' I have so much difficulty eating anything. On a typical day I have a Protein shake for Breakfast, greek yogurt for a snack, string cheese for lunch, powders?utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury chicken broth for a snack and by dinner all I can force down is a piece of chicken breast (from a chicken shish kabob) and 2 pieces of sliced squash. Eating is uncomfortable and is a chore. Nothing tastes good and I have no desire to eat, I'm5 weeks post-op, when will this change? I don't want to gorge myself, but eating without feeling sick or experiencing gas pains in my shoulders would be great.[/quote']

I feel ya. I can't get much down. I can chew chew chew but still feels weird.

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Oh my goodness' date=' I hope you will be ok. Please keep us posted and you will be in my thoughts and prayers![/quote']

Thank you ???? they've booked me in for the physio to come see me on Monday to do exercises for my chest currently on large dose of antibiotics to clear it up nurses have being really good keeping pain medication up. Still hurts to breath because the Fluid in my lung haven't found out any more from the doctor if it's a leak incased or not may have to do a biopsy. Still nill by mouth though :( I'm craving nachos so bad with Tomato and onion salsa,

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I have had moments of mourning....mourning the loss of oral enjoyment I used to get when eating, mostly. When something tasted really good to me, I loved the prolonged exposure (of those flavors) on my taste buds. I wanted the experience to go on forever, I guess. After surgery, I went through a period (of a couple weeks) during which I would eat just a little too much....becoming very uncomfortable...because my mouth just wasn't done tasting (if that makes any sense). Thankfully, I've moved past that. Now, I'm able to eat my handful of little bites...enough for my stomach to feel satisfied (not "full"...I try to avoid that feeling)...and my mouth (and brain) feel satisfied, too. Maybe my brain just learned that continuing to indulge in the oral enjoyment will lead to 2 hours of pure discomfort, and has retrained itself...I don't know. Even when I was in the throes of mourning, however, I never regretted having had my surgery.

I wish you the best in your journey.

Laura

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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