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Coming Out...

How did you tell your friends and family about your decision? Or did you?

How many people did you choose to tell?

I'm not sure if I am comfortable telling many people - including my mother.

  • Replies 32
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  • gustavo52974
    gustavo52974

    Aww, thank you! One of the things I want to do before I die, from my "bucket list" as it were, is to throw my drink in someone's face. And your response reminded me of that. Maybe I'll tell more peo

  • There are so many different responses to this question. In the end it's all about your comfort level. Tell who you feel comfortable with, and the rest, maybe after surgery, you feel differntly and tel

  • gustavo52974
    gustavo52974

    The first person I told (besides my surgeon) was my HR rep. I wish I didn't have to, and she didn't say anything at the time except to explain how medical leave works. She was very helpful in that r

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I just told my boss I was having surgery, didn't go into what type. I work from home most of the time, so other than my surgery date (taking vacation) I will be recovering on the clock.

Gustavo, just playing devil's advocate here, but HR is legally obligated to keep your confidential information confidential. Supportive or not, she may not be able to discuss it. Or she's a poo...

I don't know why I'm so reticent about this momentous decision. This is surgery #6 for me and I don't want to deal with the drama maybe.

I'm pending insurance approval so if accepted, the only people who know is a couple (the husband had gastric) and one friend. I don't plan on telling my children, parents, brother or work associates.

I have told my closest friend (who is supportive but doesn't understand since she has always been thin) and the girls who does my hair, cause I will need her help when it starts falling out. I haven't told anyone else. I'm sure my parents will not be supportive, even more so since I'm going to Mexico. My dad would be sure I'm going to end up dead in a back alley somewhere. I want to tell my son, who is 24, but I don't want to worry him and he lives with my parents while he attends college in their state.

Actually, I did tell an ex who is still a friend in an email. I saw him in May and he brought up how he and his buddy had lost 40# by juicing. I know that was a hint that I needed to lose weight. I didn't discuss my wls plans. He hasn't responded to my email. I guess he figures if he can't say something nice, he won't say anything at all. Fine by me :-)

I'm not a very private person, so I've told everyone. People have their stuff to say, and I accept that. Most that discourage do so out of fear of complications or losing me, so I am OK with that. They care and are nervous about things not going well. I have one girl I've worked with for years, and I know she is not supportive, but I told her anyway. It's not like she won't notice the weight come off. I figured she would speak her opinion before or after anyway. Might as well get it outta the way!

I can understand not wanting to tell people though. Everyone has their opinion. A very strong opinion once they find out I'm going to Mexico. It's up to your comfort though. But you know you are going to have to come up with something when the weight starts magically dropping off. Best to you!

The only person who knows is my husband because he has to watch the kids while I'm in the hospital.

Didn't tell my mother or my father or my best friends

I think it is terrible how secretive we all are. When I had my mastectomy no one was telling me not to do it or that I was "taking the easy way". WLS can be just as life-saving, why don't we all have the same support network?

I think it is terrible how secretive we all are. When I had my mastectomy no one was telling me not to do it or that I was "taking the easy way". WLS can be just as life-saving, why don't we all have the same support network?

good question, hopefully someday the prevailing discrimination will be a thing of the past.

I told my mom, my sisters and husband. I have to have a support team for my 3 kids;) I don't know if I will tell anyone else, I have a fear of telling my coworkers.

I am a hair stylist at a small salon and the other 3 ladies are very petite and my actual boss is a busy body! I am so afraid to tell her because I'm afraid the whole town will know before I even have the surgery! And then there's my clients.......what the heck do I tell them! Sooooo confusing!

Only my husband knows so far. I feel so guilty not telling my family but I know my mom will go and tell everyone. Maybe down the road, I will come clean.

So, I told everyone and now I have people inspecting everything I eat at work! And it does seem the people that say things about it are the chunky people. None of the skinny girls are critical about it. The one that is most verbal and has voiced being against it for years, has a tummy on her and always gets asked by our patients when she is due. She eats healthy food, but has a portion control issue. She says to me "don't you think you can get to goal If you just eat better?" So I asked if that worked for her. It was a snarky reply, and I felt bad, but I am thinking she is likely done trying to be all judgey. Oi! Maybe I should have waited to tell everyone til the day I left!

I told my hubby he was not too sure about it at first but now he is 100% supportive of my decision. I told 3 of my co-workers and my boss (I trust my boss, plus he has to know I will be out of work for a few days) and told 1 out of my 7 siblings she was very supportive. I'm not telling my mom cuz she is judgemental and can be negative at times and telling her is like telling my whole family lol. I love u mom, I might tell them right after surgery.

I think it is terrible how secretive we all are. When I had my mastectomy no one was telling me not to do it or that I was "taking the easy way". WLS can be just as life-saving' date=' why don't we all have the same support network?[/quote']

If I had a mastectomy I wouldn't tell people. I don't feel the need to discuss anything with people that has to do with my medical issues.

I guess I'm just private that way :)

I think I'm very fortunate. I first learned about the surgery from a co-worker and now there are so many of us at my workplace that are being sleeved, that we are thinking of getting together for a group photo to give the doctor once we all have our new bodies. It has been wonderful in regards to support. I always have someone to turn to with any questions that I may have. Fortunately, my family has been supportive as well.

I've only told my husband (who's had surgery), my sister and a close cousin. Still waiting on approval so definitely don't want to say anything yet. I have a lot of vacation time so am planning just to take vacation time to "do appointments" and after surgery tell 2 close friends at work. If anyone asks how I'm losing weight I will tell them.

If I had a mastectomy I wouldn't tell people. I don't feel the need to discuss anything with people that has to do with my medical issues.

I guess I'm just private that way :)

Most every cancer survivor that I know is proud of recovering from cancer. You would have to understand being told you have cancer, and being unsure about everything in your life, before deciding on who you reach out to for support. Just as we reach out to other overweight/obese people on this site, cancer survivors do the same, but the difference is that we got ourselves here. You can't blame cancer on eating too much or eating the wrong things. All it takes is for someone to look at us, and our diagnosis is plastered all over our body. I commend the poster for telling others her story of survival, it's truly remarkable to hear of people surviving cancer.

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