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Today I Said Goodbye So Long To Her.



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today I went to the swap meet.i saw a gorgeous yet petite jumper outfit so I walked in cautiouslyand asked the foreign saleslady how much for it.

she quickly [goofy smirk] replies : it not for you no fit you haha nonono! .

thats all I needed......that was it.

I willing answered her with : " no.....its not for me." smiled with courage and happiness

not sadness and kindly in my head finally

spoke these words to myself:

"so long...goodbye...i must leave you behind now"

referring to all of my 230 pounds n five foot three old me.

with 6 days left til surgery I have parted ways

with that 18 years of extra weight extras and extras of 18 years of tears heartache and sadness

18 years of being buried under this rubble of

my skin...

today I said bye and so long........

:)

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cont.........

and darnit I will fit into that gorgeous petite jumper by my 29th birthday !

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You betcha and you will be gorgeous sweetie.. Good luck!

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Yes you will fit into that jumper soon. Best wishes!!

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A few years ago maybe like 5 not sure was long ago though my mother and I were out shopping for Christmas stuff my mum wanted to get my niece a outfit so we went in a tiny persons shop and yes I got the looks when I was holding things up lol

I picked a itty bitty dress up and said oh do you have this in… that’s as far as I got before the young lady did a laugh and said NOT YOUR SIZE!

I smiled and said I know I’m not stupid but before your rude and assume I am dumb enough to think your kids sizes fit me wait and find out who I am buying for, now you lost a sale for your rudeness hope your manager is happy with shitty staff and poor customer service!

Tossed the dress on the counter and told my mum to come on we will go some place not so snotty and retarded with better staff.

I mean clearly if I am going into a store where the biggest size is a 16 and I am a 30 of course I k now the stuff don’t fit me don’t insult my intelligence!

I hate poor customer service and regardless of looks or size they are there to be nice and help not judgemental and rude!

I hope when your looking hot in that jumper you go back in you don’t have to be rude or even say anything just walk around the shop with your own smug grin at hwo good you look!

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thanks for the feedback......i wasnt even sad or held my head down as i walked out of her store.....i actually parted ways with the big girl and i finally felt at peace. :P

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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