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Worried About Psychologist

Chubarella

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

Hi guys! Sorry I haven't been around. I found out a month ago that my hubby was cheating on me, then abandoned me with no closure. I'm fixing to see my internal doctor on Monday and want to see if I can get the surgery already instead of waiting the 6 months. Problem is, I need to see the psychologist, 3 times and I'm not sure what she'll say about my depression? Can she keep me from getting the surgery?

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iggychic    1,405

iggychic
Posted

Yes she can. But only for the right reasons dear. Her goal is to ensure you are doing this for the right reasons and are ready to commit. Be honest, be forthright and be yourself. Youll likely be fine.

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prettysleeved1    173

prettysleeved1
Posted

Yeah, their report can contraindicate surgery. The fact that you've been recently abandoned will be addressed and the psychologist will likely want to make sure that you whole aim in getting the surgery isn't so you can get your husband back or find another man. They also talk about past diet failures and why you think that this time will be different. But, other than that it's easy. I have Panic Disorder and OCD and go through bouts of depression but I had no problem with the insurance.

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vsginnj    415

vsginnj
Posted

Sorry about your husband that can't be easy. I would be sure to work into the conversation that surgery was planned before hubby's indiscretion,and not a reaction to it.depression did not exclude me ,it's best to disclose it and how it is effectively being treated; meds,therapy ect. Remember surgery is a tool and you have to take responsibility for lots of changes in your lifestyle so any success along those lines are also worth mentioning ie. quitting smoking, drinking or drug sobriety especially if long term . Basically be honest and you should be fine, the nurse at my surgeon told me that in 11 years only 1 guy was disqualified ,he was an alcoholic in denial. Do you have support post op? A friend or sibling that can stay with you for a couple of days ? That is something you might want have in place before you disclose that your husband left. Don't say deserted to psychologist, say he chose to leave ,how you phrase things matters! Keep your chin up ,good luck and God bless you!

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

Thanks guys. I'll have to remember all those good tips. I see the doctor in the morning, I'll see what he has to say about pushing up the surgery.

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Losingitforgood!    50

Losingitforgood!
Posted

Are you waiting the 6 months for insurance?

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

Yeah, the doctor said I need to see him 6 months and the NUT for 6 months before they get insurance approval

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Izuri    428

Izuri
Posted

Since you're already having to wait a few months for the NUT and doctor visits, maybe make some regular therapy appointments between now and then? It will help you work through it and also at the time your psychologist will be at a good point to give an accurate review of their opinion on how set your are for surgery.

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IsB    209

IsB
Posted

Given everything that's happened look at seeing the psychologist as a positive. Talking to an expert after those issues could really help.

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Losingitforgood!    50

Losingitforgood!
Posted

I was in a similar situation with things not being so good at home during my pre approval process. My husband made some bad choices- and I'll tell you what- I'd be damned if he slowed down or pushed out my progress for my surgery. I was scared of the psyc eval also- but had the support of my MD and my personal therapist that no matter what was going on at home- there was no better time to work on improving myself. They fully supported surgery- and said I should most definatly move forward. I ultimately decided to push out my psyc eval for 6 weeks- in fear of me bursting into tears and melting down at what a mess my life had become. It was no big deal however since I had 3 more months of a supervised weight loss plan to follow. When I felt more mentally stable- I made my appointment and went in. I was honest and my psyc eval went wonderful. He asked very little about my home life- and could see how determined I was to do this for myself-- no one else! Now is the time for you to do just that- keep your eye on the prize and stay focused. If you are not able to do your psyc eval today- maybe you will feel stronger, better tomorrow- things will get better!

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

Well I have my first appt in a month, we'll see how that goes.

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

I was in a similar situation with things not being so good at home during my pre approval process. My husband made some bad choices- and I'll tell you what- I'd be damned if he slowed down or pushed out my progress for my surgery. I was scared of the psyc eval also- but had the support of my MD and my personal therapist that no matter what was going on at home- there was no better time to work on improving myself. They fully supported surgery- and said I should most definatly move forward. I ultimately decided to push out my psyc eval for 6 weeks- in fear of me bursting into tears and melting down at what a mess my life had become. It was no big deal however since I had 3 more months of a supervised weight loss plan to follow. When I felt more mentally stable- I made my appointment and went in. I was honest and my psyc eval went wonderful. He asked very little about my home life- and could see how determined I was to do this for myself-- no one else! Now is the time for you to do just that- keep your eye on the prize and stay focused. If you are not able to do your psyc eval today- maybe you will feel stronger, better tomorrow- things will get better!

Wow, that really helped me alot. Thanks. I got my first visit in a month, I should be ready by then.

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

So the doctor was happy that I lost 12 pounds since my last visit...24 pounds in 2 months! I asked about pushing up the surgery but he said the insurance says 6 months. I did get a psych consultation in a month and I'll see a pulmonolgist as well as him in a month too. Just keep doing what I'm doing, he says.

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

Oh, and I'm finally below 300 pounds! I haven't been below since 2008 and that was short-lived

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Chubarella    87

Chubarella
Posted

Given everything that's happened look at seeing the psychologist as a positive. Talking to an expert after those issues could really help.

I hope so. We'll see how it goes in a month.

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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