Does Your Spouse Or So Know Your Weight?

[LDallas 108]

Just curious if you told them your weight. I go for first meeting with surgeon next week...(finished with all preliminaries, after appt they submit to insurance). Anyway, while ago i received a computerized message confirming my appt, and it said ," remember to bring your support person". Huh? First i've heard of that!! And of course the ofc is closed now so i can't call them. I suppose my "support person" is my husband, and i'm quietly hyperventilating at the idea of him walking back there with me and seeing the number on the scale!!!! Eeeeeek!

[Lissa 2,631]

So tell the nurse that you don't want him with you when you weigh. Not a big deal. Pre-op, I wouldn't DREAM of telling someone how much I weighed. Now, I don't care. I've come so far that I will shout it from the rooftops!

[SpecialK1960 252]

^{I would try to call the doctor's office first and let them know, so you do not have to say it in front of your husband - "you wait here!". On the other hand, if he is supportive and you have made the decision to go ahead and change your life.... why not let him know what you are BOTH leaving behind. - Just a thought.}

[LDallas 108]

Thanks for the replies. Yes i will find out Monday! Hubby prob has a guesstimation already, but its embarrasing to outweigh him by 95 lbs

[MinaT 669]

I used to go to the doctors and REFUSE to be weighed. If they forced me to I would close my eyes and say don't tell me.

I always looked at people on the biggest loser and said, no way could I do that, because they have to be weighed with everyone watching, no way!

I told my husband my weight and my 22 year old son, I told my parents. I know how embarrassing it is.

I weighed more than my husband and my son, both are 6 foot tall and I'm 5'3"

I told my parents though I knew they looked at me with absolute sadness in their faces when they saw me. I could almost hear their inner-thoughts, oh my daughter, she's going to die if this keeps up.

Today my father came home from the hospital after surgery and I called him and said Daddy, I did it. I hit Onederland today and I lost 100 pounds since November. My husband was so happy when I yahoo'd him while he was at work, my son did a dance and high fived me.

I weigh less than all of them now.

It's up to you whether you tell or not. Work hard during your pre-op and then you can tell them each time you lose a little bit, I lost 5 - 10 - 15 or whatever, but for the first time in my life, I wasn't ashamed to tell them.

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

My husband knows how much I weigh and honestly, I don't care. He has always known. I think it in part helps him to understand why at this point I am making the decision to understand WLS. Your husband loves you and he sees you, sleeps next to you, and I am sure has seen your numerous struggles. At this point if he is supporting you it is just a number on the scale. However, if it makes you that uncomfortable for him to know your weight maybe you should tell him just that. Just think of all the things you will be shedding through this process. I finally told my husband that on our vacations there wer things I did not participate in because of my weight. He never knew that and it had an impact.

[PEvette 297]

The only time my family knew exactly how much I weighed was on the day of my surgery...my auntie looked at the scale and a tear came down her face...and I just looked at her and asked her, do you now understand why this is important to me?? I need to save my life, and I was actually bigger than this 3 weeks ago....she was speechless...

I told her to tell my cousins to pray that the surgery goes well....when I woke up from surgery I had 25 text messages from friends and family to read...words of inspiration and prayers....I was in alot of pain but while I was reading those text messages I didnt feel any of it...

If you believe your family will support you, let them....you will be amazed how good it will feel...you dont have to go through this jounery alone...

[LDallas 108]

Mina...how joyous to make that call to your dad! My parents are both gone now, but i think they'd approve. My dad's saying was"no risk, no reward"! Sleevenn...i totally understand about the vacation thing. Ugh! After my prev marriage ended, i told the ex that i never went to see his parents only because i didnt think i could fit in an airplane seat. He was shocked at this information. He thought i just didnt like them (half true) LOL! PEvette.....your story was heartwarming and inspirational. So far i told two besties, that live 1500 mi from me...my bro and his family and hubby. It's funny because i am the queen of TMI!!

But not re the surg. We'll see how long it lasts.

[mczoo33 72]

I had not told anyone and hadnt weighed myself in over a year so I wasn't even positive how much and was mortified when I seen. My doctor told me if I didnt do something I had maybe 5-10 years the way I was going and would end up like my father who passed away. I sat family down after researching for a few weeks and told them what I was facing, still wasn't gonna tell no one what I weighed...then my family was amazing and all said they each had so much to loose and we needed to do this as a family and together to support one another, so we decided to do it and get real about it. So I mortified told them what I weighed and do so now along the journey as we have weigh dates each month where we report whats we each are....its still hard and all but with there support this is a lifestyle journey and I so happy now its happening like this. Its making me be more accountable for it all and not shrug past it....I still cant handle public pictures of me at all and am crazy when they take one and post it some where, like as a family photo.

I think we have to do the hard parts like that to free ourselves even more instead of keeping things inside....

[layla33 11]

I have lost 100 pounds in a year post op and it's STILL no ones business what I weigh, tho' I'm 20 pounds from goal. You are entitled to your own personal space and privacy always...No one is "entitled" to more personal information about you and your body than you are completely comfortable with, thus coming Monday and forever, regardless of anything anyone tells you.

[kelliecalgary 18]

My hubby is the only guy I have ever been with that I have told my weight, and it was at the highest its ever been while I was with him.

[Wheetsin 714]

Just curious if you told them your weight. I go for first meeting with surgeon next week...(finished with all preliminaries, after appt they submit to insurance). Anyway, while ago i received a computerized message confirming my appt, and it said ," remember to bring your support person". Huh? First i've heard of that!! And of course the ofc is closed now so i can't call them. I suppose my "support person" is my husband, and i'm quietly hyperventilating at the idea of him walking back there with me and seeing the number on the scale!!!! Eeeeeek!

First - support people are optional, not mandatory. What if you had just moved here and were single? Second - your weight should be taken discreetly. It will not be projected onto a wall or anything. A "support person" is not someone who has access to your medical information unless you have signed a release listing that person my name as someone authroized to receive medical information about you. HIPAA is very clear on these things. Nothing should be shared with them that you do not OK. So you have several options, and this is no where near all of them...

• Assume it will be done privately, before your DH joins you. It should be.
  
• Call and ask how it is done, and tell them you want to be weighed before he joins you.
  
• Ask him to avert his eyes when you're weighed.
  
• Have DH taken to the consultation room first, then get weighed and join him.
  
• Tell the office that you want your weight kept private, even during meetings. Have them note it in your folder. Remind the surgeon during your meeting that you'd prefer your weight not be shared.
  

Just a few that you can start with.

To answer your question - my husband knows what I weigh. And I know what he weighs. It's not a big deal to me. He also knows things like how tall I am and what color my eyes are. There are much, much more "intimate" things he knows about me than my weight. A coupla numbers is the last thing I'm going to feel embarassed or ashamed about.

[MegInNOLA 531]

I didn't weigh in front of my husband EVER. Then I made the decision to have the surgery--he was already a sleever and was thrilled that I decided to do it, too. I still didn't weigh in front of him. I was getting onto the table to be rolled into surgery when HE suggested that maybe I should weigh so I would know my "before" weight. I hopped on right then---306 the morning of surgery. That's the first and only time pre-surgery that I weighed in front of him. Now, it's a morning ritual to update each other on our weight--it's a fun, flirty thing we do. I tease him that I'm trying to stay 25 pounds under him (we're super close in height with me at 6'2-1/2" and him at 6'3"--he says it's the other way around). But the point is, I don't mind now and it's become a point of celebration (among many).