On My Own Terms

[Eos38 12]

This is my first topic, although I have been lurking for about a year. I was finally approved and am scheduled for July 27th. Now to my petty issue....and it is pretty petty....but this might be the place for it.

I have only told a few of my co workers about my surgery, basically those that are on a "need to know" basis. One of my fellow co-workers decided to spill the Beans...and now it seems everyone is in the know.

Let me be clear....I am not hiding the fact that I am getting WLS, wouldn't think of pulling a Star Jones, but aren't I enititled divulge my personal, medical conditions on my own terms? When I made my feelings known I was told to "get over it because everyone is happy for me."

Am I right in my feelings, or should I just get over it?

[Gastricsleeve4me 186]

Hey there. I did the same thing. The day of surgery two people knew. One friend, and one co-worker who I knew was considering the surgery. I'm a private person anyway, and admittedly I didn't want people knowing that I was struggling so much with my weight (duh - like they couldn't tell anyway

After surgery, I became a lot more open about it with my friends. My family still doesn't know (though we're not close), and not really anyone from work.

It's definitely no one's business. BUT, my therapist had some good advice for me. She said to be careful that not sharing didn't become a matter of holding in something that I was ashamed of. She thought that could do some damage. So I'd just be sure that you're not holding in shame about it. You're worth it and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hope that helps.

[Texarkolina 201]

I would be ticked off, too. IMO, no one has the right to judge your personal medical decisions weather that judgement is good or bad, and you have the right to keep your personal medical issues--well--personal. No one talks about "being happy for you" when you go in for an appendectomy. It is not the talk of the Water cooler. When weight loss surgery is announced, however, everyone has an opinion and a comment. It is almost demeaning to have people comment in that way like they have the right or knowledge to have an opinion about something that you have been studying and learning about and living for a long time.

That being said, you do need to try to let it go. You can't unring the bell, and it could become an unneeded distraction for you if you focus too much energy on it. Sorry that happened to you. Try to forgive their ignorance and move on as quickly as possible.

[StormWarning 194]

I was excited to have my husbands support when I told him I was looking into surgery. He made me feel so good about it. I felt so good that I told my Mom. That soon turned into a nightmare. At first my mom was completely rude about the whole thing, and made me feel like crap. My dad is supportive of me, why couldn't she be. Someone suggested it may be a touch of jealousy mixed with worry, but her negative comments were starting to wear me down. At that moment I decided I was telling no one else until after my surgery. That lil bit of negativity almost made me change my whole mind. So as it stands, my husband, sons, parents, one aunt, and husbands boss are the only ones who know at this moment and I have requested it stay that way until after. Its much easier this way than to deal with the snickers and comments behind ones back.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey, and I hope you don't get too much negativity out of all this.

[Eos38 12]

I'm not feeling negative, just irritated. I think to an extent this might be a manifestation of my own fears The "what ifs" What if I don't lose...then the eyes of judgement.....

Logically I have educated myself and my family, but there's that little voice in the back of my head...well maybe some of you have that voice as well. It can really beat you up.

[Back~To~Amy 307]

I told a few people and told all of them I would appreciate if they didn't tell anyone. Well, when I came back to work, several people approached me about my surgery and based on their comments, I knew they knew. At first, I was kinda upset. Now, I really could care less who, at work knows. I guess because those who said something to me were very sweet and supportive.

Look at it this way, what's done is done. Don't waste your energy on being upset for too long because it won't change anything except keeping you stressed.

Best of luck to you!

[GiGi3 33]

I remind myself constantly that I am not telling anyone at work. Not one. I know my co-workers well and NO ONE can keep a secret!

Like you, I don't feel it necessary to divulge my personal medical decisions. It is not as if we ever discuss my fat, why discuss my future weight loss.

[Texarkolina 201]

I'm not feeling negative, just irritated. I think to an extent this might be a manifestation of my own fears The "what ifs" What if I don't lose...then the eyes of judgement.....

Logically I have educated myself and my family, but there's that little voice in the back of my head...well maybe some of you have that voice as well. It can really beat you up.

I hate the little voice. He lies. Tell him to buzz off!

[skye 46]

I've let everyone at work know the have been so supportive even say they do liquid lunch with me pre op the Drs all tell me call for them if I need anything while in the hospital these people are helping me with my fears about doing this a I am blessed

[PamSirhindi 9]

I have told only family and very close friends. My husband and mother do not want me to have the surgery. I am having the surgery period. I am doing this for me. I haven't told my co-workers. I work with the public and am torn about telling them once I loose weight and they start asking me. I am only here because someone was honest enough to tell me they had WLS.

[GiGi3 33]

Pam, I don't know how I will handle it afterwards. I have never been one to talk about my weight. So if I don't do it now, why should I do it after I do the surgery? I am doing it for me, for no one else.

I also don't tell anyone now, because I don't want their opinions. Nor do I need them. I work in a company that feels like we are one family. We care about each other.

One step at a time....

[mkamai 26]

I was excited to have my husbands support when I told him I was looking into surgery. He made me feel so good about it. I felt so good that I told my Mom. That soon turned into a nightmare. At first my mom was completely rude about the whole thing' date=' and made me feel like crap. My dad is supportive of me, why couldn't she be. Someone suggested it may be a touch of jealousy mixed with worry, but her negative comments were starting to wear me down. At that moment I decided I was telling no one else until after my surgery. That lil bit of negativity almost made me change my whole mind. So as it stands, my husband, sons, parents, one aunt, and husbands boss are the only ones who know at this moment and I have requested it stay that way until after. Its much easier this way than to deal with the snickers and comments behind ones back.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey, and I hope you don't get too much negativity out of all this.[/quote']

Let em snicker. They aren't worth your time if they're like that

Me personally have told everyone that has asked or been interested. If they want to judge me then that's their prerogative I stopped caring what people think a long time ago