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Tired Of Feeling Like A Patient



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Sorry, but I just had to vent tonight.

I'm sick of feeling like a patient still. I am a month out, as of yesterday. (I know that's technically still early, but it seems like forever). I have a persistent sharp pain in my lower belly, starting from my bellybutton stitch and going upward and right to about midbelly. When I asked my surgeon about it, he said it just had to heal, and that the cuts in the abdominal area are deep, and since that's the muscle I use to stand, move, etc...it will take a long time, and a scan really won't reveal much. I just have to wait it out. It sucks.

I'm tired of eating pureed food. I'm supposed to be eating it for another week. I don't want to eat soft food either. I want to eat some actual food. I got stuck at a restaurant with a friend tonight where there was NOTHING on the menu I could eat, so I ordered a cheese quesadilla and scraped out the middle. I still can't grasp 'eating in public', because normal people shove food in their face at an alarming rate, and I need to take my time. So I ate it too fast and felt ill.

So I felt bad and went to Target and bought a bunch of soft stuff to eat.

RAAAAAARGH. Frustrated.

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Just hang in there. You will look back on this time and realize how short it was in the scheme of things. Think about how much time it took from when you started thinking about having the weight loss surgery until the time it took for you to have the surgery. I don't know if you had a lot of insurance hoops or not, but chances are it took a lot longer than a month's time. Soon enough you will be on "normal" foods and yes eating out at this stage is pretty difficult. I would try to avoid that until you are cleared to eat solid foods.

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Yeah, I try not to eat out at all, but we were on a long drive and people wanted to stop. I didn't bring anything with me cause I didn't think I'd be out that late. You're right, it won't seem like that long, and my insurance approval period was 3 months, but it's just...ugh.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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