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Irritating Comment From Family Member



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My niece had bypass about five months ago and when I told her i was having the sleeve, she made the comment that " Well, a donut go down as easily as healthy protein." She acts like she is the authority on this and that the bypass is the only way to go!! HELLO, I do not think I will be stuffing my self with donuts any time soon. My surgery is Thursday- pre-op sucks!!!

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People can give you all kinds of weight loss advice and think they know it all. As I continue with my post-op it is surprising to hear all the negative comments I receive, especially from family members. People who comment like this do not realize what we are going through. It takes a lot of guts in my opinion to make the decision to have the VSG. Perhaps your niece may think there might be a competition in it for her and she is already trying to sabotage your efforts. Think strong! You are IN THIS TO WIN IT - for yourself and no one else. I wish you much success in your weight loss!

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Maybe your niece just wants to be the only one "looking good". Just ignore the rude comments and keep on losing:)

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I would have probably shot back and said "Oh is that what happened to you?" She would say "NO". . . then I would say "oh it's just that you knew that a donut goes down easy so I thought you had tried it" . . . .

Lmao your so funny!

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Let's make that " a donut can go down as easily..." I am an English teacher so I had to correct my bad grammar!! Thanks for the kind words!

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People are amazing. My brother in law is overweight and all he could say when I told him was, "I think it's a bad idea and you should just accept yourself the way you are." When I explained I was doing this for medical reasons (my heart and high blood pressure in particular) he glossed right over those and told me to cut back on my eating. Talk about oblivious! He is a really good guy, but he seems to be jealous. When I continued to press him on WHY it was a "bad idea" he had no reason. Nothing. People are amazingly jealous. Why not just be supportive? Uggghhh...

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I know someone that at 6 months out on GBP could eat doughnuts, I have seen another eatting very small piece of cake.... Either way both are a tool....

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Both are a tool...I took in two separate ways and I'm laughing my butt off right now.

People do get jealous and people are afraid of the unknown and people are biased on their doctor's, their surgery methods, their way of thinking.

Obviously being big we have learned to have thick skin and sometimes it's hard to keep quiet when someone is rude.

Just be proud of what you are doing and the reasons why are you are doing it. Gastric Bypass does work for some people, but there are people that try to buck the system and find ways to cheat, and if she's mentioning donut, that means she's looking for the out and I have seen people have Gastric Sleeve and gain all the weight back. Same thing can happen to us, it's a lifestyle change.

Good Luck to you and try to keep a positive attitude, it's almost your time!! Best wishes.

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One thing I've noticed with a lot of WLS patients is that they have a superior attitude about their surgery. There's a reason we all chose the sleeve: because we thought it was the best. Clearly, she feels the same about her surgery. I had a similar experience at a support group when a woman asked us all "why DIDN'T you chose the bypass?" as though it was the silliest thing she'd ever heard.

All we can do is take it with a grain of salt. Ignorance is ignorance no matter what, and can only be solved when the ignorant chose to solve it for themselves. Just smile and say: "Well so does raw liver, but I won't be swallowing that any time soon either." ;)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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