I Was Bad

[Nate 292]

I don't know how else to say it. I'm addicted to eating. I would eat good food or bad food. As long as I was eating I was happy. So to say I've been experiencing "head hunger" lately is an understatement.

I'm only 3 weeks out, and up til today I had been doing fine with my diet/eating habits. Each morning I would have Cream Of Wheat a little on the thin side. A few hours later I would have a Protein drink. For lunch either some sort of broth or cream of whatever Soup. Between lunch and dinner I would allow myself a sugar free cup of Jello or pudding as a treat. dinner is a jar of some sort of pureed meat based baby food mixed with a little chicken or beef broth to add some flavor to it. And an hour or so before bed, another Protein Drink. That's the routine I've stuck to for a while now.

Today though I walk in the kitchen to make my lunch and sitting there on the counter is the worst possible thing I could have ever seen. A pizza box. I knew I shouldn't even go near it, but I couldn't help myself. First I was just curious what was on the pizza. I'm sure you can guess what happened from there. Yep even though I knew I shouldn't I had a piece. With each bite I felt more and more like a complete jackass, wondering if I was doing any damage to my stomach or not. But at the same time it was almost as if I didn't care, I had to have that damn pizza. Thankfully I knew enough to stop after one piece. But for a few minutes there it was like I had zero self control at all. That scares me.

So that's it. I had to confess to someone. I'm hoping I didn't damage my sleeve, and praying I can keep from doing something stupid like this again in the future.

[Dooter 1,457]

STOP IT!!!! (slap slap slap) You ok now??

That said...you probably didn't damage anything as long as you chewed the life out of it. Just don't do it again.... Now go put your big boy pants on and behave...

[Minckle 87]

Man, that diet is borrrrrrrring. I might have felt tempted by the pizza as well! You've been eating very bland things and I have to wonder if once you're done with your restrictions that you won't find things a bit easier. Have you tried the recipes or food sections on here for some "spicier" food options?

Also, are you going to tell us what the pizza toppings were or what?

[BlaqBeary 23]

All I can say is been there, done that. Yes, it hurts like hell and a feeling like you've given up. We all have weak moments. Remember, 80% of our stomachs has been cut out of our bodies. It's a tool to keep us from gorging ourselves with food, not what actually we put in it. Your mind is in control of your actions. You have the power to walk away. Easier said than done, huh? I've had the topping of pizza, but not the bread. I can no longer eat bread anyway. This is good for me, because before VSG, I loved dinner rolls, cornbread and homemade bread my family makes at holiday time. So, glad I cannot eat no longer, it would be devastating. But be strong. In the end, it will be all worth it and you'll laugh at this day as one of your memories.

Krys

[Amanda 3.0 140]

You are only three weeks out so I am worried by your post. As you know, we all have different recovery processes, what does your surgeon allow?

I was on full liquids for five weeks so I would be frightened to eat pizza at week three. Are you sure you are okay?

No one is perfect, that's for sure, but if you are addicted to eating (and only you can make that designation), perhaps you could go to individual counseling or attend a group meeting. This surgery is not fool-proof. Eat certain things and you can eat all day and actually gain weight. Eat certain things too soon and you can get hurt.

Head hunger is the worst thing ever. I still feel it almost seven months out but not as bad as before surgery.

I hope you are okay. Just try to stay within your surgeon's guidelines if you can, and if you can't, ask your surgeon's office for advice on what to do.

[MinaT 669]

Three weeks out and without the pizza, I am not to as much as you are without the pizza. I would definitely speak to your surgeon, your nutritionist etc. and perhaps get some therapy too, because at your stage, if you don't get some help it could cause more issues down the line.

Yesterday I had a poached egg and 2 teaspoons of cottage cheese, all blended and didn't finish it, and I spent 2 hours praying not to get sick because it felt too heavy on my belly, worried that I may have hurt myself, admittedly I'm suppose to be on liquids still after 3 weeks but I had one shake all day and didn't think I could get another shake down, because shake tastes are making me gag lately.

It stayed down but today I see doc and I'm going to let him know my issues with the shakes. Of course a piece of pizza sounds good, not as good as a pickle to me, but after going through such an extensive surgery with complications and everything I have been through, I know better.

Hopefully you can get some help to help with your head hunger. The sleeve is a tool and it's up to you to use it correctly.

[CraftyV 61]

wow! Pizza! its been my number one craving. I am way too scared to try it though. I know dough is a big no-no. Maybe trying other pizza alternatives would help you with your cravings. I have tried cauliflower crust pizza and it is so good my teenagers love it. I found the recipe here: http://www.laurenconrad.com/post/recipe-box-doughless-pizza

Good luck to you!

[Amanda 3.0 140]

I don't think all pizza dough has to be a big no-no. I have had very thin crust pizza (like cracker thin), which is my favorite anyway. I think the thick doughs are what would cause pain and problems. And the no-crust pizza options are great too (going to have to try this cauliflower option)

If you have a Papa Murphy (take and bake pizza chain) near you, they have a couple of "de-lite" (?) pizzas that have super thin crusts and lighter toppings. We had the bacon chicken artichoke earlier this week and one slice was great. But I am six months out!

So if it helps in any way, please don't think you won't be having pizza again, because you probably will - with patience.

And like Minckle said, that diet looks boring. Can you not spice it up some? Try refried Beans with a little cheese and hot sauce, or some spaghetti sauce with a little cheese, if that's approved. A routine is great if you can actually stick to it, but if it causes you to go off plan, perhaps it is time to change it up.

[M_Johnson 43]

How did you even manage a whole slice? I am afraid to try any bread and I am almost 3 months out. I have to say though, I just tell myself I will get sick if I do it and I don't want to waste my calories/ carbs on it. Seems to work for me.... Good luck! You can do this! Don't give in to head hunger!

Michelle xo

[tiffany bowen 5]

It's ok!!! Just pick yourself up and keep going!! I am the same way, as far as the head hunger. I didn't realize how much my head controlled my eating until having this surgery!! Good luck in the future. Maybe next time just try to eat the toppings off the pizza. That wouldn't be quite as bad, right???

[CraftyV 61]

Amanda I do like the sound of thin crust pizza! My doc is anti everything! Lol but I love pizza and never considered thin crust. Good looking out!

[FishingNurse 1,211]

did you get sick or have any pain? I would have surely slimed if I ate that at 6 weeks out..

[Amanda 3.0 140]

At about two months out I could eat maybe two square inches of super thin crust pizza and that was unpleasant so I gave up on that for a while. Now I can eat one small slice and that's pushing it. Better than half a pizza like before surgery!

[BigGirlVee 57]

I'm four weeks out and just had Papa Murphys veggie delite thin crust pizza. One slice was super filling. I agree that the thin crust is cracker like and changes the ability for it to expand. Yes, it has carbs but it's unlike before; I would have had 3 slices of Chicago stuffed pizza. Moderation is key, and i'm only able to stick to this rule thanks to my sleeve.

[BigGirlVee 57]

Duplicate.