Why We Eat

[Tibbie 55]

I just wanted to share with all of you something that my bosses wife (who is a dear friend to me) said to me yesterday. I told her about the surgery - and she is sooo supportive. I told her that I have really been searching my soul as to why I eat - how I allowed myself to get to this place. There are several reasons - but I discovered one of my reasons is my work. I'm a vice president and so many times in my industry things are totally out of my control and it's so frustrating to me. I'm a control freak and because I can't control what is going on around me - I decide to control by eating. Clearly - my eating is out of control but it's not what my mind tells me. My dear sweet Tina said to me "okay - so why don't you turn that around on yourself. Instead of controlling what goes IN control what DOESN'T go in". Seriously I thought this was genius and a little light went on for me when she said this.

Of course this isn't the only reason I eat. I'm into the comfort, boardom, make myself feel better, blah blah blah, all the typical reasons. But I'm breaking those down one by one so that I will be successful long term (as in rest of my life) with this battle.

How about you - why don you eat? What are you doing to make changes NOW so that this surgery will be successful for you the rest ofnyour life?

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[kyllfalcon 768]

I was never a volume eater, or a binge eater. I got fat eating sweets because I love sugar, preferably sugar mixed with fat! I guess I was addicted to the sugar rush. I'm 8 weeks out now and fortunately for me, I can't stand sweet anymore!

Most folks say they eat for comfort or due to boredom. I can't say that was the case with me. Just loved sugar.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

This is a turn around. How ever, many many individuals end up with an eating disorder like anorexia because the only control that they have in his/her life is what they put into his/her mouths. It is such a dauble wammy. How about controlling the healthy foods you put in your mouth. Like no sugars, low fat, high Protein foods. I have been really good at this until yesterday. My FIL passed away and we are getting things ready for his funeral. The only thing at their house was high carb foods (comfort foods). So I ate it bc I had to go see a client at my office. So frustrated with myself. Today is a new day and I will eat healthy. Meaning, I am only going to put protein in my mouth. No to little carbs. This is how I will correct my inbalance.

[Tibbie 55]

Way to go Dori - I can imagine how difficult yesterday was for you. Good for you to get right back at it today!

CARBS - my nemesis my friend lol!

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[Writergirl 230]

Prior to the surggery I spent several months in a downward spiral, eating everything in sight, and thn some. I then had to make a decision... either lose weight, or go into surgery at my highest weight ever, with the outcome of that terrifying to me. So I went on low carb, and lost about 30 pounds. I can't tell you how good that was for me. Just getting the carb monster under control made it so much easier to face all the changes I've had to make after surgery. Now, almost 4 months out, I am facing all my other bad habits. Boredom grazing. Emotional eating. Late night snacking. I'm tackling them one at a time, because, as you mentioned, I want to succeed for the rest of my life. This is quite a process, and you'll come face-to-face with ALL your eating issues if you are going to succeed. I find this website and constant self-monitoring are very helpful.

[beautifulnewme2012 164]

I eat for the same reasons...mostly emotional stuff...food is my friend. This liquid diet has forced me to control myself. And I am glad for it...I have been making small changes the last few mths getting ready for surgery and the small changes have helped...so I intend to keep doing that! The funny thing about preparing for this surgery and after is that whatever problems you had with food that you were ignoring before now jump out at you screaming, refusing to be ignored anymore...so you can either address them...or be friends with them and hurt your sleeve and yourself. I am choosing A!!!

[Giselle3264 175]

Tibbie, I so get what you're saying because I've walked that path as well. When I didn't have the control or power I needed in both professional and personal situations, I regained that illusion of control, and sometimes retaliation, with food. I also have eaten for comfort, boredom, to be social, etc. But the issue of control will be the one for me to battle first. Even though I don't have my surgery date, I'm gradually addressing habits to change now. Thanks for sharing that insight and challenge for us all to look deeper.

G.

[mmorral 19]

Tibbie,

I can relate. My work is very stressful and I would "stress" eat. I started with sweets and then switched to sunflower seeds. I know that this sounds crazy, but I found that 2 wks before surgery I started a different approach. When I started feeling stress, I would color or doodle on a piece of paper. It could be during a conference call or just took a break to help me calm down.

If are able, you might want to try a quick walk or stretch exercises at your desk. I found that help as well

[kiki19 16]

I don't think you can physically hurt your sleeve after surgery...I guess you could right out from surgery, but that would be a conscious effort...now, a month after surgery, you can't even swallow when you are full...so I have not yet eaten too much, I don't think. I have had to spit food out that I ate just because it was good but I couldn't swallow it...so, yes, it changes your total relationship with food. Like, I had never realized I was a binge eater until now. If I started eating potato chips, I would eat the whole bag, not at one sitting but keep at it until it was gone, probably within a couple of hours. I would even add dip...Now, the other day at a lake party, two chips and I was full. I ate a total of five all day long. They were absolutely delicious. I could actually taste the potato. I don't think I ever even tasted most of the food I ate, or overate. My brain just registered "feels good" and it went from there. Also, I never realized that when confronted about anything by my husband, I ran straight to the kitchen. I can't eat now, but I used to start cooking and eating...now, I just find myself in the kitchen wiping stuff down or cleaning out the fridge or arranging shelves. Sometimes, I make something really good and feed it to my husband...I think this is some kind of transference thing going on. I can see how this operation is going to change (is changing) a lot of my relationships. I am not going to just sit back and eat my emotions away. So confrontation of food relationships are a given...I think I am going to start a healthy garden and try to cook from there. Instead of running to the kitchen, I can run to my garden...I think you have to change that unhealthy addiction to something positive. My best wishes to all of you pre-sleevers!!!! Your life is about to begin!!!!

[Tibbie 55]

Everyone's insights to this is so fascinating to me. Nice to know I'm not the only one! I like the idea of doodling at my desk or something to occupy my mind and keep me from eating.

I did great yesterday and so far today as well. I'm following the liquid diet that BNM sent me - and I have not strayed. I actually have good willpower - it's just when things start to stress me and start to spiral out of control that I lose my battles

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[beautifulnewme2012 164]

@kiki...my daughter has a friend that is early twenties...she was sleeved then got pregnant soon after...ate every no no...did everything wrong...after baby went back to eating all wrong...and is now 300 something again...she heard I was getting sleeved and wanted to tell me her story. She feels the sleeve would've been an awesome tool had she used it instead of misusing it...she also ate till she was sick...till she felt the sleeve wasn't really working anymore. Her story is rare but true.