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He insisted I stay home so he could ake care of me and my kid. But nothing has been cleaned. Dishes a week old and I am only six days out still with a lot of muscle pain I feel a emotional break coming and him as my focus for letting me down. I want to be patient and not go crazy on him but admit not even trash has gone out in four days my normaly clean house and I can't even invite people over.

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Such a man. I think you are better than me, I would have definitely flip a lid and everything else in that house. Because you shouldnt make promises you don't plan on keeping.

try to keep your cool and remind him that he said that he was going to do something...and looking around, it doesnt seem like he has lived up to his end of the bargain.

Usually when my S.O says he is going to do something and he doesn't, I will start to do it and he just hates that.... or feels really bad that he didnt do it... maybe give that a try....

Men are such dorks and jerks and a few other names that I can think of

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Try to stay calm and remind him of what he needs to do.....try your best not to flip because he will only see you yelling at him and not hear what you are telling him what you need him to do...

Most times men have to be told things 2 and 3 times before they do it...and you have to tell him exactly what you want him to do....or else you will be upset because he did something wrong...

I have lots of men in my family and you have to remind them....multiple times to do something or else it will go in one ear and out the other...

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I causally mentioned it and his response is if I don't ask him to do dishes or trash he won't ... But when I run the house he's good at saying when it needs clean grr sorry first day where I've felt edges ready to be better

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I causally mentioned it and his response is if I don't ask him to do dishes or trash he won't ... But when I run the house he's good at saying when it needs clean grr sorry first day where I've felt edges ready to be better

Write him a list and put, "Please do these things" on it. Be sure to specify how often each needs to be done.

There, you asked him.

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My husband will help me with anything. If I ask. I used to get sooo crazy mad at having to ask. Why should I have to ask??? He doesn't have to ask me to take care of things...the bottom line is what's important to you is different than what's important to him. So make a list for him and let him know that its important to you that these things get done. And that you appreciate his help. I know its annoying, having to ask. But you have to pick your battles in relationships just like when raising kids..I hope it gets better. Try to relax and heal as much as you can!!

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I normally stay out of these topics and keep to myself, but it offends me when I see statements like "Rant on Men" or "Just like a man". Not all men are like this. This topic should say "Rant on my husband who I chose to marry".

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Well, if you're not that kind of man ( and I don't believe you are), why not offer advice to her... I'm sure you have some friends or know some men who are clueless....

I don't think she was trying to offend and I know I was an emotional wreck for 3-4 weeks after surgery... There's no telling what came out of my mouth.. I'm just saying... I don't think it was meant to be malicious...

As far as the typical man statements... people are basing that on their experiences and/or interactions.. Which all of us have a right too.. Don't be offended.. Heck, teach a class... cause I have one I'll pay you double train.. LOL..

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@Vance...this board is a place we all come to vent without being judged, please keep that in mind. If you ever have the need to post a topic that says "rant on women"...we as your fellow sleevies should be supportive, listen, and offer good advice...judging folks chases them away and not having anyone to relate to can be dangerous for us, given what we have been through and finding that there aren't many others that can understand...

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Vance this is women's section so I felt free to voice my frustration with other women all who understand it is about my so and need to let out stream when I am upset no one would think it fits all men. I put this in the women's area and not public or a reason women need to talk. I am seven days out and was breaking down last night they understand that don't take it personal.

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Not ALL men are like this....I have a super supportive husband. I am lucky to have really married my best friend!

Sorry you got a rotten apple :-(

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I was not offended by the rant. Most rants I've heard, including this one, are based on the truth. I am amused by them and women in general. They rip on men with impunity but pursue them with a passion. :huh:

One of those mysteries I doubtless will never understand. In fact, it is a mystery to me why any woman would want a smelly, hairy clod. But they do. Good thing for me. B)

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@gmanbat....I hope I never stop pursuing my sweet hubby with a passion...wink wink!! LOL

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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