Less than a year ago, my Sister threw me a "Fruit and Veggie Platter Party" to Celebrate me getting under 200 pounds. I got down to about 184? Today...I went over 200 again.

I have no one to blame but myself. I am between jobs, I am in love, we eat out a lot together, I HAAAAAAATE working out, I drink alcohol as often as I possibly can, and I eat carbs all day,

Not sure why I am doing this to myself, but I dont know how to stop.

Usually I just go back to the way I felt when I was first sleeved, how I was so busy and never hungry that sometimes 2 or more days would pass before I realized that I hadnt eaten. I usually lose at least 6 pounds by not eating at all for a day or 2. But I dont want to do that. I am actually HUNGRY all the time. My stomach growls. I feel weak and tired.

Has anyone here gained weight, got your Sh*t together and been able to lose again? Or am I screwed?

I wasted my chance.

I am pre-op, but I'm sorry for your struggle. I've read of people re-setting their sleeve. Can you consider talking to a psychologist about your food issues? I was inspired by AmySDMom on Youtube... she has lots of good eating ideas, and does a yogurt fast for a couple of days and loses several pounds.

Wishing you all the best... I know you can find your way back.

"Drink whenever I can"...that is alot of calories, possibly the 20 lbs or so you gained. Perhaps it is time to see if you have replaced food with alcohol, and get some real help...and discuss this with your partner.

Thank you for having faith in me, I think if I had some, I would be better off. Right now, I really have no way to talk to anyone, I just cant afford it. I'm going to check out that YouTube page though and see if I can be inspired.

Sometimes, I dont feel the restriction of my sleeve at all anymore. And other times, I take 3 bites of food and am so full that I can't move.

Im sure its mostly in my head.

Pookeyism, I am sure you're right. And there is no doubt in my mind that it may actually be a problem. Before surgery I was addicted to food, and alcohol. After the surgery when I physically couldnt eat as much as I wanted to, I replaced that addiction with something I could control, which was sex. And now, its back to food and alcohol. My BF doesnt even know that I had this surgery, and Im too ashamed to tell him that I have failed miserably. I used to drink for special occasions, now I drink just cause I want to. It's horrible, I know, but I am too ashamed to "get help".

Sorry I am being so negative, I am usually not like this. But, that number on the scale this morning blew me away. I feel lost and desperate

Check with the universities in your area... the one near me offers free counseling with psych majors, as part of their educational requirement. You do need to beat the alcohol habit, and ensure that what you take into your body is worthy of feeding the goddess in your temple. You deserve to be treated well... especially by you!

Ali, first... you have NOT failed miserably!!!! You've done an amazing job and I don't think you should let this tough time you're going through diminish that... Next, admitting you have a problem is the first step.. I would definitely look into some support groups/meetings that are free as a starting point...

Finally, talk you your BF... what's not revealed can't be healed!!! You need a lot of love and support right now... He can't understand unless you tell him what's going on...be fair to him...

My love, prayers and best wishes go out to you girl.. You can do this!!

MustangAli...I am pre-op so I cant speak to the challenge of "wasting your chance" but I can speak to the very thing you are speaking of when it comes to alcohol.

My very good friends brother had his WLS and never picked up on good eating habits. After dropping more than half of his weight he was going days without protien and consuming lots of alcohol. One day he just wasnt feeling well and went to the hospital...just in time to FALL INTO a COMA.

For 6 weeks his family held vigil by his side. He was killing himself by drinking and eating poorly and not getting his Protein in. He had sepsis (sp) and infections were running his body. His liver had suffered in 6 mths what a normal weight long term alcoholic's liver would look like.

He is alive today...still with poor habits and looks like the walking dead. He has gone to rehab now and his protein levels are still off. It will be a long journey. He was killing himself being overweight and still continued to kill himself after the weightloss...

You need to ask yourself some serious questions. Talk to your partner...get him on board with good eating habits and ask him to step in with your alcohol (maybe you dont want to tell him about the surgery fine...but tell him that you need to lose weight and need his support).

ASK YOUR SISTER to HELP YOU...She obviously cares about you!!

If you need a real shocker private message me and I will send you a photo of what he looked like in the coma with all the tubes etc so you can see what can happen to you if you dont make the decision to get yourself together. MAYBE JOIN A PHYSICAL SUPPORT GROUP...not just online.

Just so I'm hearing this right, you are replacing one addiction with another addiction. So now is the best time to get your S*** together and stop with these unproductive behaviors. I wish you could see a therapist for help, that is highly advised. You said your BF doesn't know you had the surgery? How could he not know. How did you explain the incision scars to him? This is a great time to sit down with him and tell him what's going on and ask for his help in getting back on track. Eat protein, protein, protein, no alcohol, no carbs, lean low fat foods with some veggies. You can do this1 Make healthy eating your new addiction and focus on small portion size. Please keep us informed.

Hang in there Ali. We discussed this last night at support group. I need to scan in the documents they provided and share them. I will try to do that later today.

Trust me you have not thrown away your chance...you just got distracted. You are already half way to getting everything together again. YOU REALIZED YOU NEEDED HELP!!!

Nichole

Your boyfriend may be enabling you and he doesn't even know it! Be honest with him, and I'm sure he will do what he can to steer you away from destruction. Alcohol metabolizes as PURE SUGAR!! It will kill you in more ways than one. Dump it!!! No touchy! Oh please, oh please get this in control now! Do not waste your glorious weight loss! Check out some free counseling options that have been mentioned above. RUN, don't walk!! We're pulling for you!! You can do it sister!!!

I am glad you are reaching out and I am glad you posted this. Please get the help you need to deal with the Alcohol issues. YOU CAN get back to the 180's. Start now, don't let anymore pounds creep back on. Good luck, and keep us posted.

I say dump the alcohol and food and go back to the Sex....It burns alot of calories and is an enjoyable gratifing exercise. Then go back to eating small portions and make sure you get your Protein first...then your fruits and veggies. But stay away from the booze as was said earlier straight sugar and that causes weight gain like non other. Make sure you get your liquids in and start making your yougurt smoothies again, the boyfriend will love them and they are good for you both!

Good Luck in your continued weight loss, I know you can do it!

ShapeShifter said, "ensure that what you take into your body is worthy of feeding the goddess in your temple." wow . profound words !

I am a christian so I will translate the phrase to "our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, so ensure what you take into your body is worthy."

Love and care enough for yourself Ali to embrace and fulfill these words of wisdom.

I don't know if talking with your boyfriend would be helpful or not, it just depends on your relationship and his ability to support you. But regardless of outside support, my sense is that your relationship with yourself and reconnecting with your self would be the most valuable; learning to believe in yourself again. You had the gumption to take a step such as WLS, so clearly you are a fighter. You reached out on the board so you care and YOU CAN DO IT!

I've always loved the saying "fake it till you make it" because it helps me address those feelings of "I hate to do.... blank..." or "It's too hard to.... blank..." If you fake it till you make it, or "do it anyway" and just "pretend" you like it, it breaks through that initial resistance, usually just enough to reconnect with those affirming thoughts and feelings and eventually we get some momentum. When I don't want work out I tell myself, just fake it! etc. I give myself permission to not like it or not be very happy about it, but I do it anyway. Again, it helps me ge through those tough moments that can build to one big negative week or month or longer.

I hope all of our posts are helpful in some way. We are all rooting for you!!! Sending lots of positive thougths your way that you get back on track!!!!!