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A Letter To My Skinny Self



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This is a letter that I wrote from my overweight self to my skinny self. I thought that since we're all on this crazy roller coaster together, you guys may get something from it so I decided to share. :)

Dear Skinny Bedhead,

I don't know what we look like, what we're up to, or how long the winding road was for us, but I do know this- there are a few things that I want to say to you.

It seems like we've been fat since the Dawn of Time... or at least since the age when body images start to really matter. Through all of these years there have been so many excuses: Injuries. Surgeries. Pregnancies. Illnesses. No more excuses. Excuses are easy to make. Changes aren't. But it doesn't matter anymore because the biggest change (surgery) has been made, and since I'm writing to my skinny self- I have to assume that we finally stopped using excuses as protection.

Remember all of those nights sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating ice cream and Jax? Remember spending hours on Pinterest pinning outfits that we loved and wanted to wear someday but never really thought we'd be able to? Don't ever let us go back to that again. Don't dream about a life instead of having a life. I need you to be stronger than me, even though we're one in the same. I couldn't do it, no matter how many times I lost the weight, so I need you to be strong and never turn back like I did all of those times.

Don't get discouraged by stretchmarks, sagging skin, or hair loss. Right now none of that matters. What matters is getting healthy and being able to to comfortably get on the floor to play, to go on rides at the fair, to ride the stupid warhorse at the Ren Fest. The kids. The kids are what matter. Being healthy and full of energy & life for those amazing little people who deserve so much more than a fat, lazy, tired, depressed mother. I'm ok with saggy skin and Hair loss if I get all of those wonderful moments instead.

Take pictures. Take a LOT of pictures, every chance you get. For years we've hidden behind the camera and there are thousands of pictures of daddy with the kids, but almost none of mommy with the kids. Change that. Smile huge, loving smiles.

Teach the kids (our daughter especially) to love their bodies and treat them right. Make sure not to ever give them self esteem issues, but at the same time be sure to teach the absolute importance of living healthy. Do not ever let them become what we became. Be their support, their guidance, their teacher, and their friend. Don't be the voice of their self-hate.

Never forget that we were fat. Don't ever look at an overweight person and judge them. Don't ever be cruel or snide or hateful. Not everyone can or will make this journey for a myriad of reasons that are nobody's business but their own. Always remember how much it hurt. Always remember the rude glances, the harsh words, and the utter desolation of obesity. Don't take this amazing gift for granted. It so easily could have not happened for us. We're lucky. Most people aren't so lucky. Be a candle in the darkness for those people. Uplift them, support them, love them unconditionally.

But most of all, uplift, support, and love US unconditionally. Don't hate me for what I did to our body. Don't look back with bitterness or scorn. We learned so much through our battle with obesity that even though I hate the toll it has taken, I'm glad it's a burden we had to carry. Look forward toward all of the beauty, wonder, and awe this life has to offer. Grab it by the reigns and don't let go. Live life, don't let it slip away.

Be the mother, daughter, sister, and wife we were always destined to be- Because it's better late than never!

With so much hope,

Your Fat Self

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what a great idea and very well written!

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Now I really wish I had written a letter to my skinny self too! I love this! So well written and heart felt. I am excited for your skinny self to read it one day in the very near future. It goes by so fast. Congrats and good luck for a smooth surgery.

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You made me cry. I think you were writing to my (and many others) skinny self also.

Thank you

(((big hug))))

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me cry THREE, AMAZING! Esp. the part of not being in pics with your kids... yours are young and you still have time! Mine are 17 and 20 and I'm quickly running out of time for them to be JUST my kids... they are growing up :( so I hope now I will have alot more NEW pics to make up for all those lost years. Better late than NEVER :)

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I'm glad you guys enjoyed it! I knew if anyone would be able to understand it would be all of you.

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Awww I cried too, right here at my desk at work! Thank you for sharing your eloquence. I think you speak for us all.

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Beautifully written, plan on making a letter to myself before surgery

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It was very well written and a really great idea. I can totally relate the pictures with the kids/family. I have a 16 year old son and I really need to have more pictures made of us together. My mother passed away six years ago and I really wish I had more pictures of her now. But I can still change that and it's now one more goal of mines and has been moved to the top of my list.

Thanks so much for sharing!

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that was beautiful

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Thank you!

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Bumping for newer users so that maybe you can write a letter to your skinny self too :)

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    • Doughgurl

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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