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How To Date With My New Sleeve



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I am 2 week post opp and 29 pounds down!!! A guy wants to take me on a date. He was like can we do dinner, or maybe go to a bar watch a game and grab a beer. I’m thinking I can’t do any of that, I can barely eat, I can’t drink any alcohol. I’m like wow my dating life will be way different now. I guess I can say, "" Hey I only have a small stomach I can’t really eat or drink so maybe we can have a date that doesn’t require any of the above. I feel abnormal. What is everyone else doing, maybe I just have to wait longer until I can eat more or have a drink.

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go to the bar to watch the game and order Water or tea. There's no rule that you must drink alcohol. I went out last weekend with friends and had no problem ordering a non-alcoholic drink while they had beer. Nobody even noticed. If you go to dinner, then just order some Soup. Claim you had a big lunch if he asks why you're eating so little and you don't want to share about surgery yet. :)

Enjoy the date!! :)

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How about to the cinema and watch a movie? that is something nice :)

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I agree with the others. Skip the dinner and just go hang out. You can always sip on the water! The good thing is it makes you a cheap date!

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Hopefully the guy is paying more attention to you then to what you are eating or drinking. Not their business about your surgery on a first date anyway.

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Go to the bar, order Soup and play around w it while you eat it slowly. Tell him you've stopped drinking for one year.....it's just a personal decision. Order a Water and enjoy your time. No one will be paying any attention to what you are eating. Have fun and don't let this surgery stop you from living.

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Tell him you gave up drinking for Lent. Or get some real looks and tell him you have gave up everything but Soup for Lent!

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One of my favorite dates ever was car shopping. Neither of us had any plans of buying one, nor the $$$$$$$$ to buy the sort of cars we test drove- but I think that was part of the fun of it! There was no awkward silence of a movie or weirdness of who got the check after eating. We talked and laughed and had SUCH fun!

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another fun idea is going to an arcade or something at the mall. that doesnt really involve food or alcohol.. i did this the other day with my daughters father and we had a nice time

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My two best dates ever... I went to a local film festival. It was a buncgh of shorts, and we talked about them alot after so it broke the ice. The other one was a comedy club. It does something to be able to laugh with someone, and it will test his sense of humor. Neother place involves food or drinking. I know though, I've thought about this too. Suggest you go for a walk together after.

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Thanks For all your advice!!! I actually ended up doing a lunch date with him. It was something nice to look forward to while at work. I told him I was on a liquid diet and just had the Soup which came with some cheese bread that looked oh so good. I gave that to him :)

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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