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Relationship With Food



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I am really rethinking my relationship with food. The post-op liquid diet has forced me to acknowledge when I am "emotionally hungry" (e.g. when I want to eat but do not need to eat) versus real hunger.

Since I'm only a couple of weeks post-op, I'm wondering how everyone else has dealt with this, especially once you are on "real" food after week 8.

Thanks!

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For me, it's been a matter of changing the way I think about food. Now it either IS Protein or it is NOT Protein. I eat protein first, get my Water in, then deal with all the other categories of food. I refuse to think of food as good or bad. It's just food. I need it to fuel my body, but I don't need it for other things.

I used to eat my problems away. Now I'm having to deal with all the underlying issues that I used to cover up with food. I am seeing a therapist to deal with those issues, but it's almost like she's window-dressing now. The sleeve by itself has made me think hard about what I'm eating.

It's been an interesting journey and you'll probably wind up taking your own version of it. IME, lawyers are normally analytical people (I'm a paralegal) and really like to dig into the whys and wherefores of things. ;)

Good luck! :)

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Trixie, I'm finishing up my 2nd week post-op and I'm feeling the exact same things as you.

I came to a startling realization that I actually had/have a problem with food. Holy cow! I can't believe I was almost to 300 lbs and I honestly thought I didn't. I made good food choices, I didn't snack on crap all the time... but I ate too much quantity. Consistently & frequently to the point of feeling ill. This surgery has made me face this fact head on. I'm still struggling with old habits, bargaining with self, pity parties and the like, and I went through a VERY black couple of days at the end of the first week when I realized what had happened and there wasn't any going back.

But I'm getting better. The whole reason why I wanted this surgery in the first place was to completely eliminate the cheating, the bargaining, and the fatalistic thinking (e.g. "I blew it at lunch, might as well blow it at dinner too... in fact, might as well blow the rest of the week..."). Knowing myself as I did, I wanted a "hard stop" to all that behavior. And boy, I sure got it.

In the last couple of days it's become very clear to me that I've been eating to soothe pain and to fight sleepiness (I have fibromyalgia, among other things). Being off work has been a godsend in this department -- I am sleeping 8-10 hours a night and even napping on occasion. Before I was lucky to get 6 hours.

Now when my inner voice says, "I'm hungry," I do this little check-in on my physical state, and my emotional state. About 8 times out 10 it's reacting to pain, tiredness, anger, thirst, frustration, or just good-old boredom.

I've realized that it's important to remember there is a non-food solution for every one of these. I think this what people mean when they say "eating your feelings".

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WOW! you are so right. You said all the things that I somehow knew but couldn't piece together myself, so nicely. I printed out your post as a reminder for me. Thanks for sharing.

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You have discovered the "hard" part of the sleeve surgery for me - dealing with my inappropriate relationship with food. I had asked a lot of my friend/enemy food - nourish my body, soothe my spirit, fill in the boring time, take all my hurts away. Now, I am trying to just use food to nourish my body.

Even this far out, I still have days when it is tough - when I am nervous or worried about something - my first impulse is to eat. That is what I am working on now - doing other things to calm my nerves besides eating.

Good luck with this battle.

Sharon

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YES!! First off, I have been going to a psychologist who specializes in bariatric surgery and eating disorders. I also read a lot on the topic. Secondly, I got really depressed for the first 3 months. I mean really depressed. It was like a bad break up where you got dumped but you still have to see the love of your life everywhere you go..lol...only now you can't be together!! Dealing with your mind is a tough issue but it can be done. Also if you start exercising every single day you will begin to feel stronger mentally. Every time you conquer a hard thing (like not emotionally eating or walking a little further) your mind will become stronger. And before long you will have tamed the beast. It comes back to revisit but each time you are stronger to defeat it

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I always knew I had a bad relationship with food, but now I feel like I can get around the hunger, take a breath & actually change it. That is the magic in the sleeve!

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I can honestly say that I never dealth with it head on until after surgery and now that food is nurishment and nothing else- it really truely doesnt have that glam effect any more- especially when you have to force yourself to eat and pray it stays down and agrees with you.

I thought I had conquered my demons with my lapband but boy was I wrong! I realize now that even though I was on plan and anal about everything- I still allowed things to slip and slide- totally impossible now and I am so thankful for that :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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