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SMKELLER,

I do appreciate your concern and your honesty. I realize so many people only want to see the positive they never even consider the negatives. I have spoke at long lengths with my counselor about the depression that many face after the surgery even when things are going well. I do worry about that, especially now with everything else I am going thru, but I think I feel more depressed when I think about being overweight for the rest of my life. I may have needed her (my wife) help to get me started, but I feel I can go the distance on my own. I do have a few friends that will be there for me and a wonderful support group. My main fear is what if something goes wrong and I am home alone with my kids. I wasn't even planning to tell their mother I was having the surgery (she thinks I'm going on a vacation that week), but I guess I better man up and let her know.

Like I said I will discuss it with the surgeon and if he has any doubts then I will postpone it.

Thank you again for your honesty and for pointing out it's not alway six pack abs and beautiful women on the other side. Bt a boy can dream can't he.

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I am worried about post op support after leaving the hospital. I am scheduled to have a gastric sleeve done in 1 month and my wife decided to leave me. Can/will anybody tell me if this can be done alone? I have always been pretty independant but I never palnned on going thru this by myself.

To make it even better my weight loss counselor at my program is moving to Alaska in a week.

I kind of feel lost and am thinking of cancelling the surgery.

Any advice or words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated.

I wasn't going to respond to your post but I had to. Brother, this is your chance to bounce back by looking better and feeling better. Your a man, this is what men do, we go it alone when we have to and we beat the odds. NEVER let another person get in the way of your chance to live a normal, healthier life. She was just a bump in the road. When your looking better, your confidence goes through the roof. After a while you will wonder why you wasted so much time thinking about that person. Living well is th best revenge, take the chance, we only get one life...

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Yes, but at least you don't have to dream for lost youth. I'm two months out now and forty pounds down (from my highest) and it feels GREAT. Wasn't planing on getting a rooster neck, but oh well. I definitely recommend the procedure (sleeve), but do make sure you have supports in place - especially with kids in the picture. Let us know your progress.

SMKELLER,

I do appreciate your concern and your honesty. I realize so many people only want to see the positive they never even consider the negatives. I have spoke at long lengths with my counselor about the depression that many face after the surgery even when things are going well. I do worry about that, especially now with everything else I am going thru, but I think I feel more depressed when I think about being overweight for the rest of my life. I may have needed her (my wife) help to get me started, but I feel I can go the distance on my own. I do have a few friends that will be there for me and a wonderful support group. My main fear is what if something goes wrong and I am home alone with my kids. I wasn't even planning to tell their mother I was having the surgery (she thinks I'm going on a vacation that week), but I guess I better man up and let her know.

Like I said I will discuss it with the surgeon and if he has any doubts then I will postpone it.

Thank you again for your honesty and for pointing out it's not alway six pack abs and beautiful women on the other side. Bt a boy can dream can't he.

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I was sleeved in July and could have done it alone. I would suggest that you get all of your post op supplies beforehand, and maybe stay in the hospital an extra day. They will let you if you can't drink enough fluids- you can arrange that. I would have liked the extra day to regain strength. Make sure you have all of your power cords handy- phone, laptop etc. You will want to go on this site to connect with all of us. You will go through your "omg-what did I do - am I insane - life really wasn't so bad before -how could I- stage and worry about not losing much the first week, that early stall, and the pain in the left ribcage/shoulder area. We will be glad to listen and calm your fears and cheer you on. This is a judgement free zone! Im sorry your wife left, that must have been quite a blow, but as the lbs drop off, you will become amazingly confident and feel and look much better and everytime you hear from others how great you look, the pain will become less! Good luck!

Hi Cam,I read your answer about not losing the first week and the stall.Can you please explain ?I was sleeved Oct.3rd and haven't lost anything since I came home from the hospital.Is this normal?Thank you.

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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