I am worried about post op support after leaving the hospital. I am scheduled to have a gastric sleeve done in 1 month and my wife decided to leave me. Can/will anybody tell me if this can be done alone? I have always been pretty independant but I never palnned on going thru this by myself.

To make it even better my weight loss counselor at my program is moving to Alaska in a week.

I kind of feel lost and am thinking of cancelling the surgery.

Any advice or words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated.

You will be just fine. I got through it alone. I was engaged until early 2011 and we split. I decided to get the surgery shortly after. Your life is about to change for the better, and you will have to focus on yourself and your weight loss instead of the pain of your heartbreak. Plus, you are preparing for a new life, and possibly new love too, and just think how much more pleasant it is going to be with a new body you are proud of! Do this for your self!!

Yes!~ Do it- for yourself-

even if you have to do it alone.

I was sleeved in July and could have done it alone. I would suggest that you get all of your post op supplies beforehand, and maybe stay in the hospital an extra day. They will let you if you can't drink enough fluids- you can arrange that. I would have liked the extra day to regain strength. Make sure you have all of your power cords handy- phone, laptop etc. You will want to go on this site to connect with all of us. You will go through your "omg-what did I do - am I insane - life really wasn't so bad before -how could I- stage and worry about not losing much the first week, that early stall, and the pain in the left ribcage/shoulder area. We will be glad to listen and calm your fears and cheer you on. This is a judgement free zone! Im sorry your wife left, that must have been quite a blow, but as the lbs drop off, you will become amazingly confident and feel and look much better and everytime you hear from others how great you look, the pain will become less! Good luck!

But I'm a man I can't even ask for directions...LOL Thank you alll of you for your words of encouragement. I commend you all for your person triumphs and hope and pray that I will be writing my success story within the next few months.

Thank you.

I was sleeved in July and could have done it alone. I would suggest that you get all of your post op supplies beforehand, and maybe stay in the hospital an extra day. They will let you if you can't drink enough fluids- you can arrange that. I would have liked the extra day to regain strength. Make sure you have all of your power cords handy- phone, laptop etc. You will want to go on this site to connect with all of us. You will go through your "omg-what did I do - am I insane - life really wasn't so bad before -how could I- stage and worry about not losing much the first week, that early stall, and the pain in the left ribcage/shoulder area. We will be glad to listen and calm your fears and cheer you on. This is a judgement free zone! Im sorry your wife left, that must have been quite a blow, but as the lbs drop off, you will become amazingly confident and feel and look much better and everytime you hear from others how great you look, the pain will become less! Good luck!

Thank you.

Yes!~ Do it- for yourself-

even if you have to do it alone.

Thank you

You will be just fine. I got through it alone. I was engaged until early 2011 and we split. I decided to get the surgery shortly after. Your life is about to change for the better, and you will have to focus on yourself and your weight loss instead of the pain of your heartbreak. Plus, you are preparing for a new life, and possibly new love too, and just think how much more pleasant it is going to be with a new body you are proud of! Do this for your self!!

Dont cancel it, It will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.....You dont need anyone upon returning home and you will be amazed at how soon you start to feel great.....New life = New lady......Good luck on your new journey , you will be fine......and P.S when you look and feel hot , dont take her back

But I'm a man I can't even ask for directions...LOL Thank you alll of you for your words of encouragement. I commend you all for your person triumphs and hope and pray that I will be writing my success story within the next few months.

I was sleeved almost 5 months ago and have never went to one support group meeting. I wanted to, but it just didn't work out.

YOU WILL BE FINE!! We are stronger than we think we are and you can come to this site to have just about any question answered. You also have your dr. for the rest.

Kelly

I am so sorry to read that your wife left. She probably would have been a great support to you and who knows maybe down the line in your journey she may still be a great support. For now I say take a deep breath and focus on what you really want. If you opt to have the surgery in a month, your VST family will be right here to listen to you vent, read your updates and share in your successes. So chin up and be encouraged! You really can do this!!

All the best,

Niki

I am advising that you err on the side of caution here. You can ALWAYS schedule surgery. There are a ton of doctors waiting to add you to their lists. But the truth is that no one knows but you what the loss of your wife means and how it will affect you. Same with your adviser. To push on with a fairly major surgery and life change that can and does have complications and which will affect every aspect of your life, relationships, eating habits, etc. might be an invitation for a crushing sense of depression and isolation to descend upon you. Depression without support systems in place is very, very dangerous. I advise that you postpone your surgery and address these important issues by getting a good therapist to help you to sort it all out. Get some more solid support in your life THEN engage on this life changing journey.

I'm going to give you some advise - look to what YOU want, look to what YOU think YOU can handle. Was your wife leaving unexpected or was this something you knew was coming? Do you feel confident in your remaining support systems of family and friends and of YOURSELF? Ask yourself honestly if this is the right time and place for you now and you will know if you should proceed. Don't take my advise or anyone else - look toward yourself and yourself alone as long as you can be 100% honest with yourself (and at this stage you should be!)

Best of luck to you and I will keep you in my thoughts.

I am nervous but I still have to meet with my surgeon and have the EGD done. My plans are to talk to him, have known him for years, and let him know my concerns. After talking to him if I still am having any doubts I think I will delay. I've already lost 20 pounds and only wat to lose 50 more, major surgery may be a little drastic for only 50 punds. The reason I considered the surgery in the first place is because of health issues. I have extremely high blood pressure, diabetes type 2, and a dissected aorta (tear on the inner lining). Losing weight and keeping it off is the best thin I can do for all these conditions. In the past I could drop weight with ease, but I always gained it back. Since turning 39 I can't drop it like I use to and even if I did I haven't ever been able to keep it off. The up and down is even worse for my aorta than just staying up. My main motavation is I have a 7 yo son and a 12yo daughter, I want to walk her down the aisle and teach him to drive and do all those things a father is suppose to do. The rate I'm going even if I live long enough for those things I wil be so sohort of breath that I won't be able to do them.

Thanks to all who read this and tell their stories, give encouragement, advice, and wisdom. I appreciate each and every one of you.

prednect, I certainly support whatever decision you make. I just felt honor-bound to give you that warning. I got depressed as Hell after my surgery, and I don't think I had it quite as bad as you do. Just be on the lookout for it after your surgery if that is your decision. It is quite an adventure with good news at the end.

I am nervous but I still have to meet with my surgeon and have the EGD done. My plans are to talk to him, have known him for years, and let him know my concerns. After talking to him if I still am having any doubts I think I will delay. I've already lost 20 pounds and only wat to lose 50 more, major surgery may be a little drastic for only 50 punds. The reason I considered the surgery in the first place is because of health issues. I have extremely high blood pressure, diabetes type 2, and a dissected aorta (tear on the inner lining). Losing weight and keeping it off is the best thin I can do for all these conditions. In the past I could drop weight with ease, but I always gained it back. Since turning 39 I can't drop it like I use to and even if I did I haven't ever been able to keep it off. The up and down is even worse for my aorta than just staying up. My main motavation is I have a 7 yo son and a 12yo daughter, I want to walk her down the aisle and teach him to drive and do all those things a father is suppose to do. The rate I'm going even if I live long enough for those things I wil be so sohort of breath that I won't be able to do them.

Thanks to all who read this and tell their stories, give encouragement, advice, and wisdom. I appreciate each and every one of you.

SMKELLER,

I do appreciate your concern and your honesty. I realize so many people only want to see the positive they never even consider the negatives. I have spoke at long lengths with my counselor about the depression that many face after the surgery even when things are going well. I do worry about that, especially now with everything else I am going thru, but I think I feel more depressed when I think about being overweight for the rest of my life. I may have needed her (my wife) help to get me started, but I feel I can go the distance on my own. I do have a few friends that will be there for me and a wonderful support group. My main fear is what if something goes wrong and I am home alone with my kids. I wasn't even planning to tell their mother I was having the surgery (she thinks I'm going on a vacation that week), but I guess I better man up and let her know.

Like I said I will discuss it with the surgeon and if he has any doubts then I will postpone it.

Thank you again for your honesty and for pointing out it's not alway six pack abs and beautiful women on the other side. Bt a boy can dream can't he.