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Stop bringing food to my house!



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I'm on the pre-op diet.

Monday night, my mother-in-law brought her leftover pizza to my house. I didn't know until Tuesday when I opened my fridge and ended up with a big whiff of it. I made my kids eat it.

Tuesday, my mother-in-law brought over cucumber salad made with vinegar and another made with sour cream.

Wednesday she was out of town.

Thursday, she brought fudge. (Mackinac Island fudge). She didn't just hand over the box. She opened the box and cut it all up and put it on a plate. She's at my house. I was at the table eating my salad with chicken in it.

I don't like fudge, so I wasn't tempted. The cucumber thing, she does do every year when she gets a bunch of cucumbers in her garden. I actually can still eat the vinegar salad ones.

She doesn't normally bring over food and to bring over this much at a time when she knew I couldn't eat it....

I think she is being rude, but my husband doesn't think so. It is NOT normal for her to be at my house this much, and it is even more unusual for her to keep bringing food. I think she may be doing it to be passive aggressive. Of course, there is no way I can prove that. LOL!

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Oh so you've got on of those too! My MIL brought some good ol' KFC to my house the day i got my lap band! Wasn't that just so sweet of her!! I mean my husband and kids need to eat, but my kids were 5 and the girls were 1 1/2 maybe at the time! And she brought over like 2 buckets of chicken and about 10 large sides! Hoe freaking sweet to have that smell in your house after you just had surgery and can only drink freaking water!!!! Not that I was hungry or anything, but really!!!

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SABBATOGE (sp?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband's best friend brough chocolates to the hopsital after I had my sleeve. Wow thanks guys! I can't eat them but surely I will look at them and cry. My husband hid them until the last day I was in the hospital and then donated them to the nursing staff...................

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gotta love the mother in law. . . she is definately trying you. . . be stronger then the food. . . show her exactly how strong you really are. . . ugh gotta love em . . .

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Just a thought here but could she be thinking since you aren't able to eat you might not be cooking and the food and treats were for the family? She could be thinking she is helping you. If that is the case maybe explain that the food gifts are great and everyone appreciates them but maybe she can keep them at her house and they can come over to eat them.

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I agree with you passive aggressive. Nothing you can really do its his mother. Be the better person and let her be who she is, but tell your husband about it. My family has a rule to keep the peace. If anyone of us has a problem with the outlaws we go to the sibling and let them handle it. She reminds me of "Raymonds" mother LOL.

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I was wondering the same thing as Jensharley - could she be thinking that since you are "dieting" you aren't cooking and she's trying to help out? But, you know her so if you're seeing passive aggressive it also fits. Your best revenge is to not let her know she's getting to you. Smile and say thank you and then throw it away after she's gone if you have to. Good luck!

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Sara and Jen, you two are way too nice! She brought fudge!

Actually, I think it was just a weird coincidence that had her bringing everything over. It was just making me frustrated at the time. After she brought the fudge, my husband told me I'd been rude because I didn't socialize with our company (his parents).

She may be considering WLS herself. I think she is waiting to see how I do.

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Linda, I just had an "AHAAA" moment when reading your last post. If she is considering WLS, then she is probably testing you. Testing to see if you can withstand the temptations that go along with everyday. Maybe she figures if you can then maybe she can too.

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I am not sure if she is passive aggressive or if you are sensitive... As a MIL myself, I would be thinking that your husband and kids are "suffering" the same high Protein low carbs that you keep in the house and she may be doing it to help the ones out who are not dieting. As a person on this journey too, I know that this whole process becomes somewhat of an obsession and we need to remember that there are others in our lives who are not on this journey with us.

Be strong. See it as a challenge to overcome because these kinds of temptations will be around for the rest of your life.

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I LOL'd at this title. I bumped heads alot with my MIL so I get it. How about the response before she leaves, " take this home with you, none of us will eat it otherwise it will end up in the trash". :P

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Thank goodness my MIL is 1600 miles away! AND... she doesnt know about my surgery. Only my parents and sister know. They live away too so I dont have to worry about that. My mother calls every night to ask what I had for dinner and tells me in detail what they had.... it sucks but she has always done that so I just blow it off. Its such a habit with her. Its funny how you realize the way you were raised was "hey, what yall having for dinner?" Everything revolves around food. Well, thats not going to be the case for me anymore. Im only a week out and on liquids so I dont need to think that way anymore. Good luck to all of you with sabboteurs in your lives. I hope It doesnt get to be too much. Tammi

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Being a guy, it's much easier to just say GTF out, stop with the games. I've had to do it to guys at work, they think they're testing me in my last 2 weeks.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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