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Frustrated -2 weeks before surgery



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I went to my final pre op appointments, paid A LOT of money for surgeon fee's and dietician fee's.... and then got reemed out by my Dr. for not doing something that I was never told to do. Now every time that I talk to their office it seems as if they all think I am already a failure.

This is the WORST thing I could be experiencing 2 weeks before surgery. Thrown into a deep depression because I feel like a failure and I haven't even had the surgery yet.:(

I thought getting my surgery date and the weeks following would be the happiest time of my life, and now instead I feel like I am fighting against my Dr's office just to make them believe that I am trying to jump through every hoop that they put in front of me.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this? I already have thoughts in my head about how I am going to be the first person I have ever heard of that the surgery won't do anything for.... etc.... I don't need them putting more doubts, insecurity, and anxiety into me before hand.

What do I do to get my motivation and positivity back???

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Kimberlina,

What did they not tell you to do? Something easy to reconcile or not? If it was something like your pre-op diet or a test just get it done. Your doctor's office is making a great deal of money off of you so there is no reason for them to treat you horribly. Let me know how things turn out.

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I'm sorry you feel this way. It's emotionally exhausting to feel like everyone has you under their emotional thumb... I use to try to please everyone and it burned me out.

You are not a failure. You know you weren't given an instruction, right? So how can you carry the burden of someone elses mistake? How can you let THEM make YOU feel like a failure?

I don't think your Dr. thought you were perfect and now, because of this he has suddenly discovered you are not. :o If it's a deal breaker issue...you've got nothing to lose and need to find your voice. If it's a wedge between you, again...you need to bring it up and tell him how you feel. If it's not that big of a deal as far as safety, surgery, and follow-up go...then I think you need to have the grace to be kind to yourself and let this one go. Scrape your shoe and move on; because it's not worth the effort you could be spending on getting ready for pre-op and recovery.

Don't let the things out of your control, have control. Focus on what you need to do, should do, want to do...

Best of luck

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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