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Hi Guys

A friend of mine from my WLS support group and myself got to talking about his sleeve. He made an interesting comment to me. Now this guy looks great, he lost 112 lbs and you could never tell by looking that he was ever a big guy. But he told me that he still feels like the fattest guy in the room. He said he doesnt talk to women and when they talk to him he feels like they are just making fun of him. He still wears his old huge shirts and says that he has all his "fat" clothes still in his closet. Is this a typical problem for WLS patients or does he need some counseling? I would be jumping for joy and running around in Milli Vanilli shorts if I were thin. (just dated myself) Please chime in

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Sorry, trying to get over the Milli Vanilli shorts image...

I think people have different degrees of this type of thinking. You get into a habit of picking up, buying and wearing bigger clothes - your mind can't always keep up with the smaller sizes. I still look at my jeans before I put them on and I prepare myself to be disappointed that they don't fit, but they do.

On the other hand, this guy sounds like he needs some body image counseling. It can get dangerous because he doesn't want to develop an eating disorder because he still thinks he is fat. This is a tough journey and everyone handles it differently. He should allow himself to feel some joy after being such a success. Unfortunately, the surgery operates on our stomachs, not our minds.

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. Unfortunately, the surgery operates on our stomachs, not our minds.

Excellent point! That's what I was thinking and that frame of mind seems extremely dangerous. I know what its like to be the fat guy. Staying quiet in the back of the room so as to not bring attention and potential riducule on yourself, but at this point, im thinking he has to start enjoying life some.

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I think that those people with low self esteem or low self worth will have a lot more trouble changing their mental habits. The point is that if you think of yourself in one way only you can change that if you want to. If you are a ****** bag at 300lbs you will be a bigger ****** bag at 150. If you want to change your mind with your body it really has to be something that you want to work on. Don't be the "fat person" in the room when your not fat any longer. Make that decision!!!

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Better than Richard Simmon's shorts....lol :huh:

Sorry, trying to get over the Milli Vanilli shorts image...

I think people have different degrees of this type of thinking. You get into a habit of picking up, buying and wearing bigger clothes - your mind can't always keep up with the smaller sizes. I still look at my jeans before I put them on and I prepare myself to be disappointed that they don't fit, but they do.

On the other hand, this guy sounds like he needs some body image counseling. It can get dangerous because he doesn't want to develop an eating disorder because he still thinks he is fat. This is a tough journey and everyone handles it differently. He should allow himself to feel some joy after being such a success. Unfortunately, the surgery operates on our stomachs, not our minds.

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It definitely isn't a healthy thought process, and as a friend of his I think you should suggest the option to this person. An unhealthy mind has the ability to lead back to an unhealthy body.

Best of luck to you!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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