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Cludgie's Confessional


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Good for you! I need to do this too... up my Protein for sure... OH MY! Hahahaha! I just posted you a comment on your pencil skirt thread, and I said you look a little French, and now I notice you are from Belgium...Well, I was close anyway! hehe. Cheers, and good luck with your new efforts... Kim

Ok, so today I have had a good old fashioned wake up call!!!

I joined this group 2 months ago, and in that time have lost just 8lb, which is a loss (yay!!), but it is a poor loss, and why is it a poor loss? Because it reflects my recent complacency.

I am drinking a couple of times a week again, and I am emotional eating again.

Seriously WTF??? I have come all of this way, but seem to have a mental block when it comes to the final stretch, am I sabbotaging myself or just plain dumb?!?!

Classic Cludgie-ism, yesterday for instance = Breakfast - Skipped, lunch - a packet of pork scratchings and some Hershey's Kisses, and Tea - 3/4 of a chicken and cheese sandwhich, all followed by a LOT of pick n mix in front of the TV with my husband.

So negligible Protein, negligible Vitamins, and at least ten billion calories with zero excercise! - NOT A GOOD DAY!

Needless to say it is stopping! Today has been day 1 again, I just can not have come this far to throw it away because eating rubbish (even in smaller ammounts and more slowly) tastes and feels good! Its not worth it.

So today I got my Protein Shakes out again, and although I skipped Breakfast, I had a shake for lunch and some roast pork on it's own for tea, so high protein low carb achieved, and I have managed to have zero rubbish (even though hubby sat eating whoopie pies, and pick n mix beside me for most of the evening).

I would consider today a good day, 175lb, but feeling thin (Yay, I've been feeling fat for weeks), and self control re-gained.

I have also decided that as of monday I am joining a slimming and exercise class (I think that the age old threat of someone else weighing me, and an increase in my activity levels can only be a good thing).

Day one (again) - Check, bring on day two! ;)

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Good for you! I need to do this too... up my Protein for sure... OH MY! Hahahaha! I just posted you a comment on your pencil skirt thread, and I said you look a little French, and now I notice you are from Belgium...Well, I was close anyway! hehe. Cheers, and good luck with your new efforts... Kim

Ah Kim, not Belgian, British, but closest affordable surgery was belgium, so combined my sleeve with a weekend away! ;)

Well, I have been far from perfect, but I have been a lot better this week, and -2lb, which is the first significant shift in a very long time. So thats good.

I also had a great NSV this week, a friend (who I consider to be a skinny friend), asked me to take a bag of clothes to the charity shop for her, and I thought prior to donating them I'd have a quick peek and see fi anything was vaguely my size. Well it ALL fit despite being an odd range of sizes UK 10s-14s (US 6,8, and 10s), so I just adopted a new work wardrobe, and now I owe a big donation to charity!

Anyway I have 7 days until I go on holiday, and so I seriously doubt I'll get the extra 10lb needed for my labour day goal, but I am happy, I am now tecnically just 9lb overweight, and 19lb to my long term goal! Its a good place to be :D :D :D :D :D

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Ah Kim, not Belgian, British, but closest affordable surgery was belgium, so combined my sleeve with a weekend away! ;)

Well, I have been far from perfect, but I have been a lot better this week, and -2lb, which is the first significant shift in a very long time. So thats good.

I also had a great NSV this week, a friend (who I consider to be a skinny friend), asked me to take a bag of clothes to the charity shop for her, and I thought prior to donating them I'd have a quick peek and see fi anything was vaguely my size. Well it ALL fit despite being an odd range of sizes UK 10s-14s (US 6,8, and 10s), so I just adopted a new work wardrobe, and now I owe a big donation to charity!

Anyway I have 7 days until I go on holiday, and so I seriously doubt I'll get the extra 10lb needed for my labour day goal, but I am happy, I am now tecnically just 9lb overweight, and 19lb to my long term goal! Its a good place to be :D :D :D :D :D

Thats like striking it rich! I'm sure you have donated a bunch to the charity shop yourself so far. Have fun on vacation!

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Awesome for being so close to goal!!! You're definitely going to make it now. :) And score on all the clothes! You shoulda played the lottory that day, if you have one in your area!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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